[DongoSab]

hmmm a secret manual indeed,lol,, this must be a joke right? I am so interested in this, I'm looking forward to tariqfayyaz posting a small paragraph of this wise book so we can see if its real,lol and who knows we just might learn how to deal and charm the oppisite sex While on an equal/unequal status of course

[QRhnNSg9]

I just read this entire thread and it's very interesting to read your views. Some I agree with and some I don't. (Sorry, Deb, some of us don't like the door to be held for us. For some it feels too patronizing.) Of course men and women are equal, but that doesn't mean we're the same. All humans have our strong points and our weak points, but it all balances out in the end. What's needed is mutual respect and the acknowledgement that no one group is better than another. With that said, I'm feeling a little concerned. There's a lot of information out there about western men being in relationships with Japanese women, but not too much about western women and Japanese men. If what I've read here about the gender roles in Japan is true, then we have a problem. Definately both the western woman and the Japanese man would have to be unusual for their respective groups. What do you think?

[chechokancho]

hmmm, I'm a guy. So, of course, I can only reply as one

I've met and seen quite a few western women in Japan. Some hook up with Japanese men others with other foreign men. Some women have mentioned the lack of male companionship. why? why? why? I've also been bitched at for not dating western women. lololo ... why?

I know that a lot of my male friends would love to have a (ahem) blond girlfriend. Yet, many would just love to have a foreign girlfriend just in general.

I guess one problem is that many men aren't self-confident enough to go for it. Would it be a language problem or a just a male tool lack of confidence problem. My buddies are pretty manly and what not but they just don't seem to have the balls (ahem ... sorry) to approach a foreign female.

I wonder how many Japanese get turned down for not having enough money? Or just looking not manly enough? Or just get turned down for being too short?

Now, relationships.
I'd say that many Japanese men are traditional but from what I've seen in my age group along the lines of "Leave it to Beaver" (using a 50-60's tv show as reference from the states here).

Lady takes care of the home and the man is the bread winner. Getting tea and what not normally doesn't even go well with the younger generations so men have learned to get their own beers. My sister-in-law serves her husband, while I serve my wife. I guess it just depends on who you run into.

I don't know if I'd say "unusual" but I'd say that it takes a bit of understanding each other as humans. Not gaijin and nihonjin, but ningen and ningen.

[glamourcitys]

Its more than clear, that both sexs shall probably never be equal.

But they should always be respected and treated with the utmost courtesy.

Woman have been battleing for equal rights and equal standards of wage ect; and in doing so thier profile has been raised to the effect that it has nearly run off the scale, if a strong woman now gets a so called tough position, she has to prove her worth and rearrange the entire team that she has working under her control just to get thier attension,but once she has grasped it, she wont let it go easily.

But lets face it, all woman enjoy the courtesy shown to them by men, opening doors, calling for your cab, paying for the meal ect; I hope that it remains like that for a long time and equality does not effect the mannerisums or the traditions of men, that would be a price in my opinion "way too high"

[Abraham]

Interesting explanation, Moyashi. Not at all unexpected. I was reunited with my Japanese male friend Tuesday night and we both drank enough that I got many questions answered. He admitted that he's a coward. Too bad. Now we're established good buddies, but we both know that there was an attraction on both sides. It's kind of wierd, but I'm going with it. The point is that there were characteristics that were not American that I really liked. Others were very difficult. Bottom line: I think I've got to make my way to Japan - either that or one of the nearby Japanese communities here in CA - and meet some Japanese men. Height isn't an issue. I'm 5'1". Money? Well, I don't want a homeless guy! Hey, introduce me to some of your buddies!

[Teprophopay]

We have [bo-nen-kai] "end of the year" parties. Normally, the main party is close to 150 men. No women allowed. It's our night out and we stop girls at the door. It's just a lot of joking, eating, drinking, and lewd jokes for the first 2 hours, after which women are invited.

My buddies are part of the rough side of society. construction workers, carpenters, plumbers, used car salesmen, used clothing shop owners, dry cleaners, tatami makers, ex-yakuza. You name it, we are the dregs of the Japanese society.

You interested?

Where in CA are you?

I used to live in Oxnard, Santa Barbara and San Diego.

[Necedofer]

Originally posted by deborah gormley
I dont know what to believe,
If we are, then in what?
Work?, Home life?, What path we take as a couple? or just when it comes to paying thoses nasty bills?
Post your veiw and have your say,you can even have a vote on it. Men & Women are equal in rights but different in duties. Women have more responsibilty than man to manage, plan and nurture the future of mankind by training the new generation while man are supposed to take care of all the needs of women in order to facilitate their noble role that requires a lot of sacrifices.
women have the role of thinkers while the role of men is to act.

[Butiqueso]

came across this today

www.eoc.org.uk/index.html

[Chubrehege]

Not originally but rather south of the Falls. Moved out during high school.

Ahh, I get it. Hmmm, you should come over on the ELT program. Lot's of teachers ( ) I bet you'd love the work. It's the ELT program with it's faults but you'd get a chance to visit many schools and get to experience what goes on in real schools comapred to the regular Eikaiwa scene.

@email pal
I'll keep my eyes and ears open

[AK47rulz]

glad to hear that

[beth]

It looks like I forgot to mention what Dana touched on.

Women after getting close to 30 are normally thought of as "baby producers" sorry for the harsh words. So, many companies don't want to have to deal with women later taking leave and coming back and taking work off to care for a sick child. Very limited view points on their parts but I've heard and seen many such cases, including my wife.

Also, at a time. Many companies would hire women just based on their CV / resume photos. Possibly as an attempt to help their male employees to find wives, not necessary just to be pretty office flowers.

This baby business is quite possibly the reason why women will never really capture elite positions in companies that men made.

Reality sucks sometimes.

Although, some women went off and have started very lucrative businesses on their own.

smart!

[CuittisIL]

Men & Women are equal in rights but different in duties. Women have more responsibilty than man to manage, plan and nurture the future of mankind by training the new generation while man are supposed to take care of all the needs of women in order to facilitate their noble role that requires a lot of sacrifices.
women have the role of thinkers while the role of men is to act.

[diutuartina]

Hummm. . .
Dregs of society - Are you trying to discourage me? Do you at least have some in sheep's clothing? A little roughness is cool, but I'd like to find someone with some similar interests (silly me!). You used to teach English, right? Well, that's my world - ESL. Someday I'd like to make that EFL.

What the heck, if anyone's interested in an e-pal I'm here. They just have to know English. My first Japanese lesson is this Saturday!

I live in Fullerton. Are you originally from CA?

[Evsltkzl]

@tariqfayyaz

I do beg your pardon I misunderstood your post by a slight but very relavant mistaken point of veiw, and for that please accept my opoligies,
I have re-looked over your post and this time I am not so tierd as before, and I have taken the time to digest your very wise and very true point of veiw,(with my eye-wear where they should be) and my last post was an abstact from yours with the very important first few words of your sentence missing the words being Women have more responsibilty than man to manage plan and nuture ect,, ,,, this was the reason for my misunderstanding, and in future I will wear my glasses at this desk and prevent this from happening again!!!

SORRY!!! (do you forgive me tariqfayyaz ???)

[SashaLionx]

Thanks moyashi!

Hey, I found a site where I can create some e-pals in Japan. New friends - cool! I've already gotten some responses! This is fun.

[FreeOEMcheapestPHOTOSHOP]

site is down

[kaiayout]

Moyashi hit it right on the head in his first big post on the thread. I've been married to Noriko now 7 years, being together now for nearly 10 years total, most of the time living in Japan. Reading that was definitely a reality check on life in Japan for women (and men for that matter).

Times seemed to have changed as compared to over 10 years back. The newer generation (the chapatsu generation) seems to be quite more bold and agressive as compared to their parent's generation. But, in the same breath it seems that the IQ has dropped somewhat from all of the orange (used to be silver / gray) hair coloring and fake tans! (But, a side note, I think the short skirts look GREAT!!)

Noriko has really taught me how things run for the salary women working in Tokyo. The glass ceiling is 5 feet thick. Just by looking at the classified adds for employment, you can see that there are age limitations for women applying for positions in the work force. And then there is the "OH MY GOD....I'm 32 years old and over the hill." As she has told me (especially when she was coming to that age <a while back> that supervisors will strongly attempt to railroad female employees out of the workforce. Salaries between males and females holding the same positions are far from equal too.

Dana

[Uninkipsyncp]

Please explain your question in detail-as much as i understood, here is the reply-Imight have misunderstood it.
"rites are priceless, no matter at what price they have to pay. One cannot be deprive of any rite just because we can not bear the price. Justice at any cost."

[Draftcasino.com]

oops I'l see if I can find an alternative, sorry!

[amotoustict]

@tarigfayyaz



"plan and nuture the future of mankind by training the new generation, while man are supposeed to care for all the needs of woman in order to facilatate the future role thats requires a lot of sacrifice"
Please explain!!!! at what price do you pay equal rites ??? Men suffer , tell us all how????