[KuznehikVasaN]

Salaam Alaikum,

The first post of a new member doesn’t usually begin like this, but I feel as if I am fighting a losing battle and I seriously need to surround myself with my fellow Muslims. I have visited the site a few times in the past and Alhumdulillah when I viewed the threads that were relevant to me, I felt a lot better and thus made the decision to join and I pray that this is one of the best decisions I have made in my life, InshAllah.

I’m sorry if this post ends up being too long, but I really need some advice. The basic crux of the issue is that I have been suffering from severe Waswasahs since the second week of Ramadan. Before this, I was perfectly normal Alhumdulillah and (I am trying not to boast or show off here) I was a good Muslim. I was never interested in Islam when I was younger, but that all changed when I was 14.

I began to read my namaz and learn more about Islam and I stopped listening to music, watching movies, etc. At school, I was taking GCSE Islam which gave me a lot more Ilm and knowledge and at home, I was reading Sheikh Ahmed Deedat books and I understood every word. Whenever I used to read the Qur'an, I felt as if it was my own book, in the sense that every view I had, I more or less found in the Qur'an word for word, Alhumdulillah.

Allah gave me so much knowledge that my life just transformed for the better. I began to understand the true meaning of Tawhid; Allah can never be like anything else, all that we know is what has been created so Allah must be one. I had a lot of Iman in my heart and even when I found out that my mum had secretly converted to Christianity (She also suffers from Depression) I still had faith and ironically, my mum being a Christian made me a better Muslim.

All was good, Alhumdulillah up until Ramadan this year. At college, we found out we had a new English teacher who was Pakistani but now an atheist as well as rumours circulating that he is also homosexual. I was so distressed by this fact that I just kept on thinking about it. Another point is that we are studying the play of Dr. Faustus with this same teacher….The play is absolutely disgusting and I feel blasphemous every time I read it.

Anyway during one of these lessons, this teacher made a remark and in that very next second, the first whisper entered my heart. I swear in Allah’s name, that before this lesson, I was fine. I had just finished reading a book on the Gospel of Barnabas and was planning to make a movie on the signs of Qiyama. But this all changed in a second.

From that very moment till now, I have had so many waswasahs and doubts that I feel as if I am going crazy. The first doubt was regarding the existence of Allah and I tried to combat this by saying the Shahadah over and over again. Every minute of the day I have to analyse and scrutinise absolutely everything from a glass of water on the table to the sun in the sky to the things that people say. It is as if I have to know the answer to everything.

This went on for about 2 weeks, and then slowly it turned into doubting every one of the principles of Aqidah; one week I was doubting the existence of Allah and the angels, then I was doubting Akhirah, then I was thinking that there is no such thing as free will and destiny. There are so many other thing that I have been thinking, but I can’t bring myself to reveal them. They are so horrible and dark.

I try to recite as many duas as I possibly can but everytime I do I feel as if I am saying it with no iman in my heart, so that they words of the duas become absolutely worthless. Every time I pray, my mind drifts off. The worst whispers are “God does not exist” and “You are an Athiest”. I am almost near to tears when I think of this possibility, I am so scared that I already am an atheist which is why my duas are not being accepted or that if I am not one already, I will become one in the future. If that happens, I know that I will probably commit suicide because I could not bear to live with myself if I ever became a Kafir.

I just want to be a Muslim again, but these doubts don’t stop. They just don’t go away. I keep on thinking that we are here just by chance, that there is no such thing as God or Judgement Day. I try to counter these thoughts but it is to no avail. I find myself saying “I’ll carry on praying just in case God does exist” and I know that this is the totally wrong attitude to have, as there is no sincerity in it.

All of my Iman has gone and it is such a painful feeling. I feel as if I am thousands of miles away from Allah- I have such a deep fear that I am a kafir and everytime I look at a Muslim, I feel so upset because I wish I had my iman with me. It’s like my heart has been swallowed whole, my thinking has changed from solid black and white to abstract grey.

I just want my Iman back, I need a whole lot of Yaqin, but I just don’t know where to start. I feel so frustrated, I am having trouble sleeping and everytime I wake up in the middle of the night, the first thing that I do is say the Shahadah or “La hawla wala kuwata Ilah Billah.” But the problem is I feel as if I am saying it from a heart that is hypocritical.

I don’t want anything from this world, I am not interested in money, fame, looks, fortune, etc. I just want to be a good Muslim from the depths of my heart. I just want my Iman back and I don’t know where to begin and what to do.

I know that only Allah can help me, but for that to happen I must help myself and for me to help myself, I need your help.

May Allah bless you all and keep you far far away from such trials.

Thank you for reading.

[Nmoitmzr]

Sister, I know the shock of finding an atheist from a Muslim country must have hit you hard. I know I often feel sad to hear of such things (although they are Alhumdulillah rare).

As someone who himself has looked at atheist arguments and followed a few debates online and read things here and there I honestly cannot see anything worth any intelligence in their way of thinking.

After all consider their world view-that there is nothing out there and that we exist by mere chance or at least the forces of nature do, think deeply about it how nonsensical it sounds.

Often atheisism will target people's faith by simply dismissinbg it off the cuff, but then then consider their "beliefs"- a pointless senseless universe with no guidance and that it just so came to be. Does that even sound half intelligent to you?

Atheistic arguments are pure sophestry. They just want to bog you down in deep meanings and try to seek answers to questions that cannot possibally be answered. All they do is reduce everything to particles and atoms and cells and electrical impulses-the dry language of science journals is their sheild, but if you even study these things what science has discovered is a world beyond one we previously though and further deeper you go the more complex it becomes-now ask yourself-all of this (and really consider it here sister), all of this from nothing?

Remember sister from nothing-nothing comes.

I don't know if I've written anything of help, but I will make Du'a for you In sha'Allah.

[wmzeto]

As a sister to a sister I'd say change courses - you DONT need that course, your life will be better without it - obviously you know how easy/difficult this is so think about it.

secondly, block out your thoughts by listening to Quran. Like people listen to music, you listen to Quran. Choose different recitations that you like. Just to block out these thoughts.

Get into some good company. Sisters that will pull you out from this. Socialise, read Quran together, share some tea.

Speak to a scholar.

I pray Allah takes these thoughts away from you. ameen

ws

[pertikuss]

Sister, I know what you're going through. I think the problem is a number of things.

Firstly, surround yourself with good Muslim friends. I know sisters dont always stick together like that like guys do, but try it, it'll help. Take part in other activities because too much "thinking" or "doing nothing" invites evil thoughts. Know that the best minds of history, majority of them believed in God. The wisest of men throughout history have believed in God, forget some gay Pakistani apostate English teacher of England in 2008.

Secondly, realize that this Earth is huge and there are many different types of people. Regarding who gets guided and gets misguided, WE DON'T KNOW who is doing what for what reason. You don't know the history behind your English teacher's apostasy -- so leave it be. Its a tragid decision for him, one that he'll regret after he dies, but let him be, because each individual is responsible for himself.

Secondly, I heard this in a Shaykh Hamza Yusuf talk (this is someone who is very familiar with the atheist arguments) where he quotes the hadith qudsi, "I am in the opinion of My servant". So if Allah's servant thinks nothing of him or looks at the world through an 'atheistic' lens, then he will find no God wherever he looks. The smallest things will be proofs to himself there is no God because he already has this opinion in his heart. However, if you, a believer, hold Allah in a high opinion, then you will see the proofs of God. So you know Allah is there, but your problem is you're getting bothered by the Shaytan. You must be strong in this test because in the end that's what it is and you'll come out stronger.

We've all doubted -- we're human beings. And Iman goes up on some days and down on others -- thats all natural! Really. Just stay on the straight path, make dua (that worked for me the best) where you sincerely ask Allah to save you from doubtful thoughts.

I'm not recommending you get involved in religion vs. atheist debates because its a headache and really pretty fruitless, neither side budges. Just know that in the end, we're going to find out really soon. In that Shaykh Hamza talk I mentioned he stated the difference between the atheists and Muslims. They (atheists) say "We've looked at the Earth, at life and we're pretty sure there's no God, so who cares about the hereafter" (not direct quote). Whereas we say, "No, We're willing to wait and see THE PROOF of God on the Day of Judgement, and then you'll see who was right.." See, they've prejudged (they're prejudiced) -- they've made up their minds.So the difference is in the patience that believers generally have. Being an atheist is a terrible thing - you live a fruitless, purposeless life (in the sense that this whole life is just one chemical reaction, why even live?) and you wither away. As a believer, you hope, you pray for a beautiful hereafter. In the end, both people live and die on this Earth and we'll all see the Truth with our own eyes shortly. As a Muslim, I advise you to pray, practice your faith, do good deeds, get involved with the community and one day inshallah, you will look back at this time in your life and be grateful to Allah that you never went astray.

[WFSdZuP3]

I try to recite as many duas as I possibly can but everytime I do I feel as if I am saying it with no iman in my heart, so that they words of the duas become absolutely worthless. Every time I pray, my mind drifts off. The worst whispers are “God does not exist” and “You are an Athiest”. I am almost near to tears when I think of this possibility, I am so scared that I already am an atheist which is why my duas are not being accepted or that if I am not one already, I will become one in the future. If that happens, I know that I will probably commit suicide because I could not bear to live with myself if I ever became a Kafir. Very normal. You have nothing to worry about.

Sister, one of the beauties of Islam is that you can prove its validity by these very thoughts you are having. But before I show you how, let me share with you my experience.

I have always been a Muslim. I was born into a Muslim family. But it was not until 12 grade that I became very interested in Religion. I began to pray and do everything which one should. I tried to get as close to God as I could.

The end result: Exactly what you describe.

Questions started entering my mind. Questions about the existance of God and what if it was not true. Every time I found an answer to a question, a new question poped up. And when I found the answer to that question, another question poped up. Finally, I had found the answer to all the questions and the only thing that would come to my mind was

God does not exist. God does not exist.

and

You are not a Muslim. You just say you are. You are not a Muslim. You just say you are.

The exact same thing you are experiencing.

Both of these are techniques which have been outlined in books of pscyhology. If you want to put someone in doubt about what they believe in, all you have to do is bombard him with questions he cannot answer. If that fails, then keep repeating something over and over again. This technique is known as brain washing and was succesfully used by Hitler.

Hitler brainwashed his nation into beleiving that they were a superior nation while everyone else was inferiror. He did this by just repeating this over and over and over again.

The devil uses both of the above mentioned techniques to drive a Muslim away from his fatih and into disbelief. The purpose of whispering "You are a kafir" is to dishearten you so that you will leave the deeds you are doing by thinking well I am a kafir so my deeds will not be of any good.

So, what you are going through is very normal. Many, if not all Muslims, experience this when try to get closer to God.

So how does this prove the validity of Islam?

The Quran says:

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

"Say: I seek refuge with the Lord of An-Nas.
The King of An-Nas.
The God of An-Nas.
From the evil of the whisperer who withdraws.
Who whispers in the breasts of An-Nas.
Of Jinn and An-Nas." Surah Nas, Quran

Note the part I have bolded. These two Ayats clearly make mention of a phenomenun of whisphering. Now it is only logical to deduce, that if the Quran is true, then we should see this phenomenun somewhere. And you and many other Muslims who experience these whispherings are the proof of the validity of these two Verses.

This Verse was revealed 1400 years ago. Which means that people even then experienced these whispherings. Afterall, why would such Verses be present in the Book of God, if no one experienced these whipsherings.

So, you see, what you are going through is very normal.

The solution is simple. Ignore them. Let them flood your mind and keep going on with your duties as usual. This will enrage the devil and eventually he will quit.

Also recite Ayah Kursi in the morning and evening. This Ayah protects against the jinns. Finally, be rest assured that you are a Muslim. This is only a trick the devil is trying to pull off and he can only succeed if you let him succeed. If you need any more help, feel free to respond to this post of mine.

Finally, as someone recommended, I advise you not to get into debates with atheiasts. They are very intelectual, some of them, and until and unless you have the required skills, which most Muslims do not, and the special protection of God, you will be in very big trouble.

And one more thing. You said

I am almost near to tears when I think of this possibility, I am so scared that I already am an atheist which is why my duas are not being accepted or that if I am not one already, I will become one in the future. If that happens, I know that I will probably commit suicide because I could not bear to live with myself if I ever became a Kafir. This is just a display of the strength of your Iman! When a person feels like this, it shows that his Iman is very strong. So you see. You have nothing to worry about!!!

Hadith 1:10 Narrated By Anas:
The Prophet said, "Whoever possesses the following three qualities will have the sweetness (delight) of faith:
1. The one to whom Allah and His Apostle becomes dearer than anything else.
2. Who loves a person and he loves him only for Allah's sake.
3. Who hates to revert to Atheism (disbelief) as he hates to be thrown into the fire."

So you see. Your hate of becoming a Kafir shows the strength of your Iman as you can see from the Hadith above.

[gghrdfffhfyj]

All I can say is Jazak Allah for all of your replies. What you have all said makes so much sense to me, I know this is the truth but I just hate Shaytan so much because he makes it so hard for us to accept it.

Jazak Allah dear brothers and sisters, thank you all so very much, I was feeling so lonely before but I know that I will always have my Muslims to help me, Alhumdulillah.

Whenever I think about the fact that these whispers are evidence of the truth of Islam, because Shaytan wouldn't whisper to people who are on the wrong path, (it defies logic), I get a thought saying "There is no such thing as Shaytan." It's like a vicious cycle and I just want to get through it.

I don't want to fail, but I don't know how to actively get my Iman back and a whole lot of Yaqin. How do I do this? I'm worried that this will last my whole life.

[halfstreet]

All I can say is Jazak Allah for all of your replies. What you have all said makes so much sense to me, I know this is the truth but I just hate Shaytan so much because he makes it so hard for us to accept it.

Jazak Allah dear brothers and sisters, thank you all so very much, I was feeling so lonely before but I know that I will always have my Muslims to help me, Alhumdulillah.

Whenever I think about the fact that these whispers are evidence of the truth of Islam, because Shaytan wouldn't whisper to people who are on the wrong path, (it defies logic), I get a thought saying "There is no such thing as Shaytan." It's like a vicious cycle and I just want to get through it.

I don't want to fail, but I don't know how to actively get my Iman back and a whole lot of Yaqin. How do I do this? I'm worried that this will last my whole life.

Asslamo Allaikum,

You have to know how to go about getting Eeman and here are some ways:

a) Be in the Company of those how have Eeman. This can be physical or virtual (read books and stories of those who have Eeman)

b) Giving Dawah about Eeman

c) Read the Qur'aan & Hadeeth. CLick on my signature and you can download translation of Qur'aan and a book of Hadeeth called Riyadus-Saleheen.

I highly recommend that you read both.

[Daruhuw]

Assalamu Alaikum,

Sister, I suggest sharing your city,state - so that the 'ulama and the tullab ul ilm here can offer an alim or alima's name in your locality.

These things often happen when one is not connected to a strong group of companions who can support one in their Deen, or if one has no guide.

Remember, in Suratul Fatihah, the prayer is: "Guide US on the Straight Path". This is meant to be a religion of community. If you share simply your city, someone can suggest a reliable, trustworthy scholar that you can sit with, and not only ask questions to, but develop a student-teacher relationship with to safeguard yourself from this and allow you to grow in the future in Iman and strength.

wa alaikum assalam
AS

[DoctoNilsonDen]

I think what you need is some substance to show you that islam is the truth. There are two ways to do this, either you can prove the prophethood of the prophet (saws) or you can prove the Quran. Both have been proven over and over.
One area which has really strengthened me personally is the signs of the hour. The prophet (saaws) listed around 70 or so signs that would happen beforet he last day, they are all coming true, one after the other. You can read about them here: http://www.islamweb.net/ver2/archive...ng=E&id=135817

[AdobeCreativeSuite]

Bismillah

Salaam alaikum

Sister Nabila, I have some questions for you.

First, you did not state what exactly your professor said to make you doubt. The mere existance of an atheist from the Muslim world, isn't news. Being America or Europe, one finds many Iranians, Arabs, etc. who have left the Muslim world to become secular and even atheist.

Second, what exactly about Faustus makes you doubt? I have read many of the playwrights of Europe and American Enlightment era and they do not touch the Aqidah Islami directly, arguably.

Third, whispers from Shaytan are not exclusive to you nor are they able to unwind the Aqidah of Islam. Quite frankly, the Aqidah is just that: a knot bound and twisted. So the matter might be, sister, what exactly do you know of the Aqidah of Islam? Which leads to the point: why don't you go to your local masjid and join in a study circle with the imam or ulama in order to examine your own level of knowledge. Perhaps you did not know as much as you thought about Islam, true?


I look forward to your answers and.

[snislarne]

Bismillah

Salaam alaikum

Sister Nabila, I have some questions for you.

First, you did not state what exactly your professor said to make you doubt. The mere existance of an atheist from the Muslim world, isn't news. Being America or Europe, one finds many Iranians, Arabs, etc. who have left the Muslim world to become secular and even atheist.

Second, what exactly about Faustus makes you doubt? I have read many of the playwrights of Europe and American Enlightment era and they do not touch the Aqidah Islami directly, arguably.

Third, whispers from Shaytan are not exclusive to you nor are they able to unwind the Aqidah of Islam. Quite frankly, the Aqidah is just that: a knot bound and twisted. So the matter might be, sister, what exactly do you know of the Aqidah of Islam? Which leads to the point: why don't you go to your local masjid and join in a study circle with the imam or ulama in order to examine your own level of knowledge. Perhaps you did not know as much as you thought about Islam, true?


I look forward to your answers and.

Walaikum Salaam Brother...

Well, the first thing that he said was along the lines of how much religion and morality controls human beings from doing what they want to do and how Hedonism is such a beautiful thing but moral people always view it in a negative manner which is stupid. Things like that and just the way he carries himself. I think there is a Hadith that says and I am sorry I do not remember it word for word "Eloquent Speech is a form of black magic." It's just the way he speaks, I find it so so horrible and dark....Everytime I am in his lesson, he just really frustrates me.... He comes out with comments such as "I am Faustus and this is my Hell" and yesterday he said while pretending to eat an apple "This is the apple that will get me out of the Garden of Eden." I know that might seem really childish but it gets to me...I just turn away in disgust while the rest of the class laughs.

There are some lines in Faustus that I just don't like, the dialogues between him and the devil Mephastohillis and Lucifer and the parts where Faustus renounces God....I think it is terrible and I can't bear to touch the book.

I am in no way trying to portray myself as a model Muslim, but I did know my stuff. I used to spend time writing articles, reading loads and loads of books esp on comparative religion with regards to Christianity. I even had dreams where I was talking about Tawhid to my friend who was a Christian in the dream and where I was trying to tell my mum about Islam. But you are right, I didn't know enough because if I did I wouldn't let these seeds of doubt grow into troublesome weeds.

[Sierabiera]

Thank you for replying sister.

It may be too late in the semester, but it seems to me you have a valid case to withdrawal from the class without a penalty. One of the things students have a right to do is withdrawal if they find their professor's style or content of teaching is particularly upsetting.

But say you don't withdrawal, I encourage you to make it a personal struggle to overcome the devilish thoughts of this professor and even campaign against him on your campus, if its possible. Most Muslim student associations have the numbers of students willing to take action against a professor who specifically crusade against Muslims and Islam.

But say that's not enough, remember that Shaytan and his human and jinn minions are weaklings. They are weak before the awesomeness of Allah (AWJ).
Shaytan is the enemy of men and he mocks and laughs that stupid men follow his whispers into atheism eventhough he DOES believe in Allah. Its stupid pathetic men who are ones who believe in atheism, or disbelieve in Allah. Shaytan is happy to turn these men against their Rabb. That's basically what's happening with this professor: a man happy in his downward fall.

Sister, perhaps you should pity this man as he is like too many from generations of people before. His story is small. He is on the wrong side of bigger Plan of Allah's. If he finds comfort in Faustus, so be it.

But really sister, what issues question your belief regarding this man? Its importantly for you to intellectually examine each matter so you can reconstruct and refortify your belief. If not here, you should do this with a person of knowledge you trust, perhaps a sister or alim.

Take care.

[Loolasant]

Assalamualaykum,

Sister, firstly it needs to be reassured that you have not lost your Imaan, as my other brothers and sisters have reassured you. Person who have Imaan fear loosing it, they fear of hypocrisy. If they don't have strong Imaan to begin with, then there is not much fear of loosing it. Perhaps they don't realize how precious it is. Of course this doesn't mean that there is no such thing as Imaan. For I may have a gold coin and never realize its value, but it doesn't mean that it doesn't have a value.

Consider a few points:

If you were allowed to look into peoples hearts and lives you'd see that many people go through these conditions. I said this so that you can feel part of the brotherhood/sisterhood of fellow Muslims, struggling with some of the same things that you are currently struggling with. I, for one, have spent a very difficult period of my life struggling with doubt and whisperings. I have been disturbed by apostasy of random Muslims, of friends or classmates as well. You can't help but feel bad about all this. But at a point we come to realize that this is Allah's plan. And we have to accept it with humbleness and happiness. This is part of Rida bil Qadr (Contentment with The Decree). We have to be concerned in the sense that we want to fulfill the obligation of dawah, but we also have to realize that who Allah (jalle jalaluhu) chooses to beautify with faith and who He allows to choose disbelieve is totally upto Him. And there is great wisdom in that; which even though might not be visible to us, or might not be in our scope of comprehension at a given point, is nevertheless true. This is a matter of realization. And what is required to achieve this realization is some deliberation with faithfulness and good deeds, over time.

What you are facing now is a type of test. And whether it is this particular one or another, you were bound to be tested. This is a way that Allah (subhanuhu wa ta'ala) has chosen to test and elevate you, and you should ask Allah to help you through this difficult moment. At one level we must all realize that if Allah really wants to test us we cannot stand up to it. And as such we must constantly ask Allah (subhabuhu wa ta'ala) to make things easy for us, and not to test us. And Inshallah, He will be happy with us, and make it easy for us. But when we must also ask Allah to give us patience and perseverance.

Now as for whisperings, one thing that we can do and I have seen this suggested, is that you first seek refuge in Allah from such thoughts, then you realize that these are insinuations of Shaytaan and be happy that these thoughts are coming to us because it proves that we have imaan, since Shaytaan tries to insinuate people of faith. Say Alhamdulillah and laugh at these thoughts. This will deter the Shaytaan. It will frustrate him. Another thing that you should do is to regularly read the meaning of Qur'an. And Inshallah, Allah's words would go on comforting you and resolving your problems. I heard this from a senior and respected Alim and Shaykh. He even said that there were times he was haunted by doubts. He even led prayer with those doubts. But since he had a habit of reading the Quran, he found all the answers to his doubts there and it strengthened his imaan much more than before. Keep this habit even when you are relieved of your doubts. This will beautify your life and thoughts.

And as for your professor, we don't know what state he will die in. It is possible that after a life of disbelief Allah might choose to give him Imaan. There have been cases like these before. So don't bother about his present state. Neither vilify him. Hate his condition but not him, but rather pray for his guidance. And if Allah wills Allah might give him Imaan.

His whole point of religion controlling human beings, is relative (to speak in "their" terms). Take your own case for example. You are listening to these whispers and doubts that are arising in your mind and you don't like them at all. You like to have faith. You like to be pious. Religion is not really restricting you in this case. It's his philosophy that is restricting you from doing what you want. Not all people want the same things. And not all people's wants have to be justified just because they are wants. Nor do they have to be justified because they are the wants of a significant group or majority of people. A certain person designated to be sick or out of the norm may find pleasure in murdering or raping or even hoarding up resources. Why should I be forced to accept that that is fine? A group of people might think that it's okay to squander the resources of this earth and hoard it all up for themselves and thereby exclude others. I don't have to accept that. And who is to decide what becomes a norm and why should I submit to the norms set by human beings who I consider average? There's more that can be said and argued. But argument is not the best of ways. And it's best done by a pious and senior Alim or Alima.

In a way their line of argument is stupid and frustrating, because it seems to only apply to them and not to others. There are gaping holes in their reasoning system and they can't help but be insecure about it. Hence all the rubbish talk, and this tendency to sort of force their views down other people's guts (not so dissimilar to certain types of religious people). I think that It's just a reflection of his insecurity that he pokes fun at the idea of Hell, God etc. I might be wrong, but that's what it seems from my vantage point.

Let us know of what else is bothering you. Maybe we can share what has bothered us or what does bother us and try to come up with a way to deal with all this in a good way that is conducing to Allah's pleasure.

[HassFks]

Jazak Allah. What you have said makes so much sense to me in my heart and mind, but the hard part is putting it all into practice.

Whenever I set myself a goal to try and combat this and I feel as if I am making some progress, I start thinking that Shaytan doesn't exist! Honestly, this situation is so frustrating, I feel as if I will never get back on the Straight Path.

I really really want to be a good Muslim, that's all I want.......but the only word I can use here is frustration. I just don't know where to begin and what to do. I hate the fact that this has happened because I know that I have lost the battle.

Every day I cry myself to sleep because I am such a horrible thing...I'm not trying to get pity here or anything but I feel that I am such a big hypocrite that I may as well not pray or recite the Quran or anything.

I just don't know where to begin.

[Hlennisal]

Hadhrat Thanwi said that wesawis are like other people walking on the same road as you. Just don't pay attention to them.

I've also heard that whispers etc are like a dog barking: the more you pay attention to it, the louder it gets; the more you ignore it, the less it gets.

[jimmy28]

Jazak Allah. What you have said makes so much sense to me in my heart and mind, but the hard part is putting it all into practice.

Whenever I set myself a goal to try and combat this and I feel as if I am making some progress, I start thinking that Shaytan doesn't exist! Honestly, this situation is so frustrating, I feel as if I will never get back on the Straight Path.

I really really want to be a good Muslim, that's all I want.......but the only word I can use here is frustration. I just don't know where to begin and what to do. I hate the fact that this has happened because I know that I have lost the battle.

Every day I cry myself to sleep because I am such a horrible thing...I'm not trying to get pity here or anything but I feel that I am such a big hypocrite that I may as well not pray or recite the Quran or anything.

I just don't know where to begin.

Assalamualaykum Sister,

Here's a site for you. http://tanzil.info/. Just close your eyes and listen to the Quran. Inshallah it will ease your heart.

Imaan is a great gift of Allah. Hold on to it. Only you can protect it. Do you want to believe? If yes then there is no but.

... And you'll be fine, Inshallah.

[Tusanoc]

salams
this is very common in the sense that something can just trigger it off . the thoughts are not what some people here call mere whispers for the thoughts thje sisters is talking about are actually constant and can be very disturbing . A brother i know suffered for at least 15 years wkith no hope of ever them ending but alhumdulliah they do end , you tend to fall into despair , you feel worthless , that every one else is a better muslim than you, your prayer suffers , as the sister suggests the emaan goes from your heart and you actually feel a loss in your heart a physical one and you yearn for the comfort of emaan to come back to replace that ache . All i can say to the sister is start to read all the guls every day seven times and lots of duas and know that all shaytaian wants you to do is to miss your prayers and the good deeds you dop . persevere inshallah it will get better

[KellyMP]

Assalamoalaykum Sister,

I wanted to write a long post, but I found an older thread which covers the same problem as yours, and with many excellent replies that contain what I wanted to say.

Here is that thread: http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/arch...p?t-28003.html

Please read it and the replies there.

First of all, you ARE a Muslima, you have always been a Muslima, and this is just a trick of Shaytan to attack you and hurt you. A robber only robs the house he knows is valuable, that is why he is attacking you, because your heart contains the treasure of imaan! You ARE a Muslima!

Read the reply of Mufti Muhammed ibn Adam on that other thread: he quotes a hadith as follows:

Sayyiduna Abu Haraira (Allah be pleased with him) narrates that once a group of people came to the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) and asked: “We experience such evil thoughts that it is impossible to bring them on our lips”. The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) asked: “Do you really experience these thoughts? Yes, they replied. The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) replied: “They are clear signs of faith”. (Sahih Muslim).

So Sister, this Waswasa is just a tactic of Shaytan, and the way you can remove its harm is SIMPLY TO JUST IGNORE IT! Let every thought come and go, but just ignore it. Don't worry about it for one second. That's the trick to defeat this -- JUST DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT -- and it will soon go away because shaytan will see it is not having his desired affect. Trust me on this.

There is a nice book about Waswasa which you can buy here:

http://www.theislamicestablishment.c...TezXQc=&catID=

I recommend it and you should read it.

Also, there is a good online book here:

http://maseeh1.tripod.com/alislaahpu...ions/id11.html

which you can print out and read.


Also, I recommend the book of Shaykh Yunus Patel which you can print out from here:

http://www.moulanayunuspatel.co.za/b...ofshaitaan.php

This book is about the whisperings of Shaytaan, and you should print it out and read it carefully. One other thing -- you can write to the Shaykh about your problems, and inshAllah, he will reply to you and help you. He has many people who write to him for guidance and advice and they discuss their problems with him.

May Allah Ta'ala keep you happy and may He protect you. Always be regular in reciting the last 3 surah of the Quran, keep in good company, and keep busy. Find a shaykh you can write to and talk to (like Shaykh Yunus Patel mentioned above) and make dua that Allah Ta'ala removes this from you. Recite the dua frequently: Rabbi inni aouthubika min hamazatish shayateen, wa aouthubiki Rabbi ay yahdhuroon. Which is an Ayat of the Quran in Surah Muminoon, which means: My Lord, I seek protection in You from the suggestions of Satans, and I seek protection in You, my Lord that they be present near me.

And don't forget - ignore it completely.

PS - Sister, you can't completely control the satanic wispering waswasis, but you CAN control your own behaviour, like searching on the Internet or reading articles or books against Islam. Just don't do it. Leave it completely.

[TopcigsCOM]

Asalaam Alaikum

My dear sister nabila, i haven't been on these forums for a really long time (just browse through the events section). However I read your post today and subhanAllah I had to reply.

My sister, I have been through the EXACT same thing. I was not a practising Muslim until I reached 14 like yourself. However, what made me practise the deen were these wasaawis. Alhamdulillah, that Allah guided me, but we seek Allah's refuge from the evil of these whispers as they cause incredible distress. Although I wasn't practising, Islam was still important to me, so the feeling/thought of losing it made me so anxious such that i developped physical symptoms. Alhamdulillah that there are so many people here who can relate and have advised you sincerely.

Everyone experiences whispers from shaytaan. Yet they can be of two types; fleeting or persisting. Our initial response to wasawasa should be to immediate seek refuge in Allah.. and like Allah says in Surah Al Fussilat: 36 'And if an evil whisper from Shaitan (Satan) tries to turn you away (from doing good, etc.), then seek refuge in Allah. Verily, He is the All-Hearer, the All-Knower'

IF... the thoughts persist and they start attacking you, like they did for me, then you need to turn to your ulema and ask them to answer all the questions you have. For me, I knew nothing about the deen. I only believed in Allah because I was born Muslim... so these wasaawis shook my basic foundations. I had to seek answers. I needed yaqeen in my eaman... and honestly sis, insha'Allah through patient perserverence, Allah will give you the answers and subhanAllah you'll reach a new level of eaman... because it will be with CONVICTION.

There are a few talks that helped me:
1) Shaykh Riyadh ul Haq's talk on 'Satanic Whispers'
When i listened to that... subhanAllah i felt Allah gave me all the answers how to fight this.
Under general audio: http://www.akacademy.eu/library/audio

2) Shaykh Husain Abdul Sattar's talk
'Balancing our thoughts'
www.sacredlearning.org
General Talks (2006)

3) Also 2 dua'as that are so valuable to me:
'Autho bey kalimaatillahi taamat tiladhee laa yo jaawizo hunn'a barrun wa laa faajirun....' (in fortress of a muslim dua book... under seeking Allah's refuge section if i can remember correctly')
There is also an amazing dua (in fortress of a muslim.. under anxiety section) where we ask Allah to make the Qur'an the life of our hearts, the light of our chests...
'Allahuma inee abdoka /amatuka (for sisters) binto abadika, binto amatika, naasiyatey bey yadika maadhan fee hukmoka, adlan fee qadhaa'oka. As'aluka bey kulli ismin huwa laka samayta behee nafsak, ow unzaltaho fee kitaabik ow alamtaho min khalqik ow is'tatharta bihi fee ilmi ghaybe in'dak, an'tajalal quraana rabee'a qalbi wa noora sadree wa jalaa a'huzni wa dhaa'habi hami'
'Oh Allah I am your maidservant, daughter of your male servant, daughter of your maidservant, my forelock is in Your hand, Your command over me is forever executed and Your decree over me is just. I ask You by every name belonging to You which You name Yourself with, or revealed in Your Book, or You taught to any of Your creation, or You have preserved in the knowledge of the unseen with You, that You make the Qur’aan the life of my heart and the light of my breast, and a departure for my sorrow and a release for my anxiety.’
http://www.makedua.com/display_dua.php?sectionid=34

I hope that helps my dear sis.

I noticed you're from the West Midlands. I also live in the West Midlands. So please feel free to get in touch if you wish insha'Allah. I would suggest getting in contact with the ulema at As-Suffa institute (Maulana Zahir, Mufti Sajjad, Mufti Imran or Maulana Shazad) if you need answers to your questions.

Wasalaam

[Barryrich]

but I feel that I am such a big hypocrite that I may as well not pray or recite the Quran or anything.

I just don't know where to begin.

Sorry i just noticed this. Feeling like a hypocrite and being down about our spiritual state, alhamdulillah it is a sign of imaan, alhamdulillah!. Remember the hadith of Hanzalah (ra)? 'naafaqa hanazalah...' If we had become hypocrites.. we wouldn't feel down and so anxious. Just take this opportunity to disconnect with everything and reconnect with ALLAH AZA WAJ'AL inshaAllah.

I really suggest you listen to those 2 talks to start off with. SubhanAllah, they summarise what everyone has said...and the hadith is mentioned in the audios.

You are in our duas inshaAllah