[occafeVes]

brother nomadic those guys in luton arent salafis they are mojos, they are to salafis what hizb ut tahrir is to deobandis

[AOE6q4bu]

i am not sure which one I married : ).
She makes my life difficult!!

sounds like a mirpuri..jhelumi..saudi...or a salafi

[ImmimiFruff]

They must be strange salafis, the ones I know consider Tabligis to be grave worshippers and biddatis (they hate Maulana Muhammad Zakariys RA), who follow a religion other than Islam

Brother,

Then you are a biased individual as I know plenty of Non-Salafi Sisters married to Salafees and treated well and are perfectly happy and may Allah (SWT) keep them happy (Ameen).

Thats just ridicolous!

[Gubocang]

What is mojo? These preecher also attend Alkawthar course!!

For me to consider a salafist, they have to prove they are serious and not some mutah pracicing perverts. When this idiot was approach, he simply stated a hadith in his defense!! I am surprised her brother didn't give him a beating!! i would have arranged have his leg broken.

mojo is someone from al muhaajiroon, anjem choudry et al.

Thats unusual because vast majority of al kauthar atendees are pakistanis and most tend to be professionals in engineering, pharmacy, programming etc, perhaps the guy attended a few courses but doesnt sound like typical al kauthar atendee. Allahu a'lam

also al kawthar doesnt attack tablighees, sounds like madkhalis or mojos to me.

ur making generlisations bro, anyone can do that about their fellow brother. My daughters are for those who are serious about islam inshallah, simple as

[BashBeissedat]

Thats unusual because vast majority of al kauthar atendees are pakistanis and most tend to be professionals in engineering, pharmacy, programming etc, perhaps the guy attended a few courses but doesnt sound like typical al kauthar atendee. Allahu a'lam

You have just gave a profile of the modern lamadhabist. I know why pakistani (mirpuris & Jehlamis) gravitate towards lamadhabism. Please note I use the term ghair muqalid with respect and lamadhabist as an insult.
They can spend 100GBP on a course on Wudu!! They definately know how to priorotise what is important and what is not!! I personally think AK course is nothing more then an avenue to raise money from gullible naive people who prefer power point deen to fit in with their secular method of understanding religion. The more you pay the more taqwa and understanding one have.
I rather be a poor man then join these course that brings about ruibida tendency!! Now I know why we are so regressive and immature as a community!

most mirpuris and jhelumis are actually non-practising barelwis...its better for them to be practising salafis that atleast pray than be bollywood actor/actress wannabes

[Hmwmzian]

Thats unusual because vast majority of al kauthar atendees are pakistanis and most tend to be professionals in engineering, pharmacy, programming etc, perhaps the guy attended a few courses but doesnt sound like typical al kauthar atendee. Allahu a'lam

You have just gave a profile of the modern lamadhabist. I know why pakistani (mirpuris & Jehlamis) gravitate towards lamadhabism. Please note I use the term ghair muqalid with respect and lamadhabist as an insult.
They can spend 100GBP on a course on Wudu!! They definately know how to priorotise what is important and what is not!! I personally think AK course is nothing more then an avenue to raise money from gullible naive people who prefer power point deen to fit in with their secular method of understanding religion. The more you pay the more taqwa and understanding one have.
I rather be a poor man then join these course that brings about ruibida tendency!! Now I know why we are so regressive and immature as a community!

al kauthar courses are maximum £60 each and all proceeds go to mercy mission charity projects taking care of orphans, destitute sisters, cancer victims etc, and of course the cost of the courses themselves which are quite expensive due to venue, flights for instructors etc. And wudhu is only one course, they also have genghis khan, usool al fiqh, and all sorts of other courses. They also offer more indepth knowledge via students guild. Alhamdulillah many have benefitted through them. And they are against secularism. Projectors arent secularism and arent haraam, if some people learn better like that, so what? Loads of people practice through them and they always organise important initiatives during the course. If people benefit, let them, how many chav muslims sell drugs, want flashy cars, bollywood films etc, surely attending islamic courses isnt the worse thing

[Vitoethiche]

i am not sure which one I married : ).
She makes my life difficult!!

السلام عليكم

Hazrat, we hear that Shaikh Bayazid Bastami attaining Walayat in accelerated pace was apparently due to tolerating his wife who was trying to 'make his life difficult'. May Allah make it easier for you.

[ketNavatutt]

al kauthar have never charged £100 for a course. I cant comment on what car the ustaadh drives.

They do have a tv channel but not peace tv, its called ramadhan tv and its owned by mercy mission

i dont remember it being haraam to learn usool, we shud all strive to learn what we can inshallah. If the youth enjoy learning usool, its better than what most british muslim youth get up to now adays

[DownloadADOBEsoftware]

A believer knows what is a prioroty and serches for beneficial knowledge. Today it seems people is not seraching for knowledge but information so they can brag about it to others and has little or no bearing on their life. Learning usul does not make one a better beliver.
This itself describes the motive!! Ego trip rather then humble search of an abid or a zakir!!
How can one talk about usul of fiqh when the contributer is not an expert in the other fiqh. they generally say at the end this is better then other!! Such foolishness!! The likes of ramadhan TV is just another way of propogating a secterian tendency and in essense undermines the local scholars. People are easily impressed by TV... Shallow and superfical immature practicising Jahalat.

[Chiquita]

I read an article recently where they stated that Muslim women were expressing similar opinions to non Muslims that they dislike nice dependable guys and were more attracted to the so called 'bad boys', because of the excitement they might provide?

There has been an increase in the population of Nice Guys in the west in the past few decades, they tend to be nerdy and not very social and they are 'feminised' in some ways because they lack masculine type qualities of strength, confidence, independence etc. And women are put off by them, they prefer the Bad Boy who might show some confidence and is challenging.

How would a woman not be put off by a "feminized" man? That's a good thing. The opposite of feminine man is not gangster, drug dealer.

Secondly, if a woman is going around looking at the men on her own and deciding who is a "nice boy" and who is a "bad boy," then you don't want that woman anyway. So her opinion is irrelevant. Rather spend your time finding a woman who is lowering her gaze, going through the Islamic channels for finding marriage, and iA 100% of those women will have piety be the first thing they're looking for.

Finally, what kind of a useless subject to write an article about! Is there a Muslim cosmo now or something?

[rowneigerie]

I want snacks. :/

[giturbewan]

How would a woman not be put off by a "feminized" man? That's a good thing. The opposite of feminine man is not gangster, drug dealer.

Secondly, if a woman is going around looking at the men on her own and deciding who is a "nice boy" and who is a "bad boy," then you don't want that woman anyway. So her opinion is irrelevant. Rather spend your time finding a woman who is lowering her gaze, going through the Islamic channels for finding marriage, and iA 100% of those women will have piety be the first thing they're looking for.

Finally, what kind of a useless subject to write an article about! Is there a Muslim cosmo now or something?

Yes my OP was really asking that should young men stop being such 'nice guys' and be a bit more assertive and confident, and should women be aiming for a different type of husband.

I got it from here:
http://muslimvillage.com/2012/06/10/...is-not-enough/

To be fair it does say many young Muslim guys want a famous American celebrity type wife as well. If all this is true we are in huge trouble as an ummah I think.

From the above link:
I’ve actually heard from sisters, who have said to me, “Sister Hosai, he’s an amazing guy, I know he’ll be a wonderful husband and father, and I have no complaints otherwise…it’s just…it’s just that I don’t feel butterflies when I’m around him!” or “We don’t have any ‘chemistry.’” or …”He’s TOO nice and that turns me off!”

These are girls who are practicing their faith, they’re pious sisters otherwise, but they actually have turned away prospects for “being too nice”! Why? Because “nice guys” finish last in Hollywood, don’t they? They’re often portrayed as the weak, nerdy, geeky types; in other words, the monogamous ones who actually want a relationship! Who wants that when the “Hero” of the film drives up in a leather jacket on a motorcycle and has all the girls swooning over him? Yeah that guy is real marriage material!

[PPActionnGuys]

May be we have the following problem also:


During the past half century, African Americans have become the most unmarried people in our nation. More than two out of every three black women are unmarried, and they are more than twice as likely as white women never to marry. The racial gap in marriage extends beyond the poor. Affluent and college educated African Americans are also less likely to marry or stay married than their white counterparts. That harms black children and adults, and imperils the growth and stability of the black middle class.

One reason that marriage has declined is that as black women have advanced economically and educationally, black men have fallen behind. Nearly twice as many black women as black men graduate from college each year.Thus, not only are many college-educated black women unmarried, they are more likely than any other group of women to marry less educated and lower earning men. Half of college-educated black wives are more educated than their husbands.


http://www.amazon.com/Is-Marriage-Wh...9863478&sr=1-1

[Tndfpcin]

There are too many problems with Muslims and marriage...we need to sort it out or we shall see many problems in the future. We have too many false expectations...some people will only marry someone who earns a particular amount, others need someone with light skin, others want someone who has never married before and so on.

May be we have the following problem also:


During the past half century, African Americans have become the most unmarried people in our nation. More than two out of every three black women are unmarried, and they are more than twice as likely as white women never to marry. The racial gap in marriage extends beyond the poor. Affluent and college educated African Americans are also less likely to marry or stay married than their white counterparts. That harms black children and adults, and imperils the growth and stability of the black middle class.

One reason that marriage has declined is that as black women have advanced economically and educationally, black men have fallen behind. Nearly twice as many black women as black men graduate from college each year.Thus, not only are many college-educated black women unmarried, they are more likely than any other group of women to marry less educated and lower earning men. Half of college-educated black wives are more educated than their husbands.


http://www.amazon.com/Is-Marriage-Wh...9863478&sr=1-1

[jeraveike]

Yes my OP was really asking that should young men stop being such 'nice guys' and be a bit more assertive and confident, and should women be aiming for a different type of husband.

I think the problem will be solved if men behave like men. That doesn't mean make your voice artificially deep and have big muscles and veins popping out of your forehead or something. Some of the idea we have of being a man is just as hollywood as the "bad boys" those foolish people are chasing.

Being a man in this context means:
1. Having the appearance of a man- loose fitting clothing, above the ankles, one-fist length beard, hair of the appropriate length, etc.
2. Lowering the gaze and refusing all unnecessary communication with ghayr-mahrams. In the case of absolutely necessary communication, it should be short, to-the-point, brusque.
3. Stand up to the parents (politely but firmly, not budging an inch) in the matter of your wife being chosen on the basis of piety and the nikah and everything leading up to it being strictly according to shariah and sunnah. Actually, being one hundred percent firm on having nikah and walimah simple and according to sunnah can assure you of either a good wife or a good wife's family (or both) every time.

If a man has these three qualities, they are man enough and they will have a good wife, iA. It doesn't matter if they are shy and soft-spoken, prone to crying, soft-hearted and the other qualities that hollywood portrays as un-manly.


Beyond that, the answer to the question is that foolish people are going to be foolish. There's nothing surprising about that!

[voksveta]

السلام عليكم

Hazrat, we hear that Shaikh Bayazid Bastami attaining Walayat in accelerated pace was apparently due to tolerating his wife who was trying to 'make his life difficult'. May Allah make it easier for you.

That's it. I am changing my name to Bayazid from now.
Anyways, most people are under the misconception that I am a nice guy but I married a really sweet girl. So the original premise breaks down. Now, my wife knows that I am not a nice guy....but what can she do?

[MackBranon]

I think its called 'Stockholm syndrome'

No.

[Xibizopt]

its not a gangster badboy thing....its a dominance leadership thing that women look for....someone who can take control of a situation...has his own principals etc the nice guys who bend over backwards to please people wont get the same respect

[55TRATTERENRY]

its not a gangster badboy thing....its a dominance leadership thing that women look for....someone who can take control of a situation...has his own principals etc the nice guys who bend over backwards to please people wont get the same respect

I have heard in a bayan of Shaykh Hassan Ali, that such soft spoken people are men of Jannah.

[hitaEtela]

I think the problem will be solved if men behave like men. That doesn't mean make your voice artificially deep and have big muscles and veins popping out of your forehead or something. Some of the idea we have of being a man is just as hollywood as the "bad boys" those foolish people are chasing.

Being a man in this context means:
1. Having the appearance of a man- loose fitting clothing, above the ankles, one-fist length beard, hair of the appropriate length, etc.
2. Lowering the gaze and refusing all unnecessary communication with ghayr-mahrams. In the case of absolutely necessary communication, it should be short, to-the-point, brusque.
3. Stand up to the parents (politely but firmly, not budging an inch) in the matter of your wife being chosen on the basis of piety and the nikah and everything leading up to it being strictly according to shariah and sunnah. Actually, being one hundred percent firm on having nikah and walimah simple and according to sunnah can assure you of either a good wife or a good wife's family (or both) every time.

If a man has these three qualities, they are man enough and they will have a good wife, iA. It doesn't matter if they are shy and soft-spoken, prone to crying, soft-hearted and the other qualities that hollywood portrays as un-manly.


Beyond that, the answer to the question is that foolish people are going to be foolish. There's nothing surprising about that!

Yes the best of the creation was soft-spoken and was the most courageous among all of men.