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07-12-2012, 05:07 AM
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#21 |
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talk to her male relatives about your thoughts here |
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07-12-2012, 05:56 AM
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#22 |
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WOULD they even let her marry you considering your views and issues That I totally believe in the Quran, Hadith, and Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) or Something else?? |
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07-12-2012, 06:05 AM
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#23 |
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I guess* Brother Ahmed was hinting at your direct jumping to divorce. Divorce is quite a big thing, quite undesirable, and often the last resort. And who'd want her daughter to marry a person who already has thoughts of divorce before he even marries.
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07-12-2012, 06:30 AM
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#24 |
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What views and issues would that be? WOULD they even let her marry you considering your views and issues it is easy to leave home and abandon your family because there are wrongs going in in there. its much harder to stay, while keeping yourself safe from the fitna, and try to reform them. but hey it's the prophetic example. our prophet did not break off ties with family because they were kafirs, let alone sinners, in such a case your wirfe would be commiting a major sin (i.e. abandoning hijab as a whole) but she would still be a muslim....In our religious tradition it is a major sin to break off ties with family...do you not think divorcing your wife is alsoa very serious issue? the goal of the muslim should always be to affect change, and remeber when you make an effort for the sake of Allah and strive in his way, he will open paths before you. you yourself have been through rough times, Alhmadulillah allah challenged you with trials but he also gave you the strength and wisdom to persevere by his grace, mercy and will. if you were to be confronted with such a situation you would should try to reform her by example. even if your wife gave up prayer (much more important than hijab) you should not immediately jump to divorce let me tell you a story that a local shaykh once told me: so the shaykh's teacher who taught him Sahih Bukhari or some other book from the sihah sitta (i believe it was bukhari) once wanted to explain the meaning of the hadith "if you see something wrong change with your hands, then tongue, or at least feel bad about it..." so he gave an aexample from his own life. when he got married he found out afterwards that his wife was into pop music, she had grown up in the west after all. Imagine the irony a shaykh who preaches about the importance of abstaining from haram while his wife listens to music....did he divorce her outright? NO. instead what he started doing was taking her walkman and replacing the music casettes with quran and annasheed cassettes, and would put the music cassettes somewhere else,. he would do this every morning before leaving for work etc. eventually his efforts had an effect and his wife gave up music. this by no means implies that he did not have a good relationship with his wife or did not fulfill her rights, only that he was dissastisfied with a particular habit of hers which wasn't permissible. and rather then ending it he made an effort to fix the problem. Brother revert while i applaud your commitment to the deen. it must be pointed out that the deen is very complex and often times complicated in certain areas as such, i hope you will not be offended when i say that you have not grasped many realities of the quran, hadith, and Prohet (pbuh). divorce is a last resort to problems that cannot be fixed. your goal should always be to fix the problem. and that change won't always be a quick one it might take time, years even to reform an individual. and while she may have abandoned hijab, you must also be pleased with the several other good qualities she has that you yourself may not possess. in the hanafi madhab having a beard is wajib (obligatory, so practically speaking the beard is fardh)...yet it would be absolutely absurd to imagine somebody requesting a divorce because the husband shaved his beard. No if the sister was concerned she would try to talk to him and get other pious muslims to spend time with him and influence him towards the haqq. please listen tot he lecture i provided the link for. i'm also alarmed that when people pointed out or tried to point out the error in your reasoning you said that you were loyal, tot he quran, hadith, and prophet, meaning that you think that somehow doing what you would do in those cicumstances would be the prophetic solution. please educate yourself int he subject and read the seerah. another point i want to make if your picky when choosing a spouse an dlookign for an individual that meets certain expectations that totally, cool you can be as picky as you want to be. but after having married somebody, you can no longer jump ship whenever something doesn't go exactly the way you want...even if the shariah has been breached. as a wise saying goes two wrongs don't make a right. |
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07-12-2012, 08:07 AM
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#25 |
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WOULD they even let her marry you considering your views and issues |
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07-12-2012, 08:48 AM
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#26 |
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Bro i think you got your priorities wrong.
Their are at least 30 spiritual disieses that are REAL and can have tremendous effects on a marriage, yet you concentrate on an outward form, a piece of cloth that may merely be but a manisfestation of some of these disieses. Its the heart you get judged on, not pieces of cloth  Good luck in your marriage bro
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07-12-2012, 09:08 AM
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#27 |
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I know that it sounds superficial but that's the way I am hardwired.
My first couple of years after reverting was spent at a Saudi masjid. All I saw were niqabi sisters dressed in black. So to me that's how a muslimah should look and dress. |
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07-12-2012, 09:15 AM
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#28 |
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I know that it sounds superficial but that's the way I am hardwired. we're arguing that the way you plan to deal with the issue should it arise is wrong. I gather that you dislike the action because it is contrary to the prophetic tradition and our deen, yet i must ask you do you really think that divorcing someone over that issue is in accordance with the prophetic way? your priorities have been arranged all "willy-nilly" akhi |
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07-12-2012, 09:25 AM
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#29 |
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There's a big world out there
its not about superficiality, its about importance. By definition a cloth is superficial. The charachter you need to be looking at in your wife doesnt start at the cloth, and frankly you will be well into 10 years of marriage before that cloth should be an issue, because it will take you that long to understand the real things that make a marriage work for both your benefit. Ditch thinking about the cloth, and start with the heart. It will benefit you much more to start inward, and work outward. Say, you may find a woman of heaven, who wears no head cloth, who pulls you up through the higher levels of paradise, else finding a full niqabi who will make your life a misery and drag you down with her. |
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07-12-2012, 02:43 PM
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#30 |
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Lets put it this way: would you want your wife to be asking before you even got married; whether it will be ok to divorce you if you cut the length of your beard after marriage ?
It is perfectly ok to stipulate that one wants a Niqabi or Sunnah bearded husband. But to think of divorcing in case that person changes, and that also is an "if" is a bit premature. |
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07-12-2012, 02:46 PM
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#31 |
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 The best course of action would be to set it as a condition so the potential wife knows what to expect before going into marriage. People place various conditions for talaq that are worldly and materialistic; if someone sets a religious condition, it should be seen as something praiseworthy. |
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07-12-2012, 03:50 PM
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#32 |
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Once again, what views and issues are you referring to?? that americans are superior in every way the posts/threads deleted from this forum please reveal all to her male relatives or you will be guilty of deception so find a wife who has similar views or else once you reveal your views she will leave you . zero compatibility will have zero chance AND ALLAH KNOWS BEST and my last reply on this thread, |
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07-12-2012, 07:33 PM
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#33 |
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and my last reply on this thread, Maybe it's just me; but that doesn't look or feel quite right? But if that behavior is part of your culture; then I understand. Inshallah |
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07-12-2012, 07:38 PM
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#34 |
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al-Salamu `Aleykum,
No it is not allowed to divorce a wife for taking off Niqaab and going back to Hijab. |
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07-12-2012, 08:02 PM
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#35 |
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........... not be so judgemental in life. Your life will pass and the only thing will remain of you is bitter taste in others mouth. Is this what you want? There is no need to attack me for just asking a simple question. But thank you for responding; it was very thoughtful. |
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07-12-2012, 09:30 PM
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#36 |
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al-Salamu `Aleykum,  Brother, I don't know if that is the opinion in the Shafi'i madhhab, but according to the Hanafis, the husband can divorce his wife for any reason, whether it be religious, materialistic, or even idiotic! Of course the latter may be unjust and the sin would be from the injustice. |
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07-12-2012, 09:50 PM
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#37 |
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I think you need some more reflection and association with the company of one who has wisdom.
There would be a reasons why one would resort to either putting on the Niqab or taking off. What would those reasons be? Enviroment, lack of ilm, starting job, peer influence, lack or dawah, increase in dawah, husband is a fake sheikh (not dissing our fake shaykh brother here) i.e. claims righteousness but does not practice what he preachers. So one would need to keep an eye on these things and see what goes on. If you do the right things then the wrong things won't happen. Islam is simple bro |
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07-12-2012, 10:31 PM
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#38 |
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 It is better you tell this to the girl, that is you intent to divorce her if she takes off the niqab in future, if she still agree you can go ahead and inshaaAllah she too will get a better husband. If she agrees, then again upto her. Whatever be the case, it is better you tell her lest she has to face the worst incase she removes niqab. Allahu alam |
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07-12-2012, 10:38 PM
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#39 |
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I am considering marrying a muslimah that wears the niqab. Yes you can use that as grounds for divorce. But i dont think you are the type who would divorce just because of removing niqab. Please visit this site: www.tasawwuf.org and listen to the english bayans of the shaikh. 
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