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#1 |
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![]() I am sure most (if not all) of you have noticed the increasing nudity and type of soft porn being propogated by newspapers, magzines, and so called family TV shows (I know some of you might not have a TV at home). Even the kids cartoon has little girls wearing skimpy clothing and romantic innuendos. My questions are the following? 1) How do we address this with our childrens (7-10 years old), or how to prepare them? You are fooling yourself if you believe that your child is an angle, and that you will be able to avoid these things from them. Childrens are very smart, and they know what kind of questions to ask or to not ask their parents, they know what you want and what will make you happy. Homeschooling IMO can help to an extent, but what happens when your child goes to college (I have seen many homeschooler getting swept away by the culture that prevails in colleges) ? 2) While these outlets are propogating their messages based on human phsycology with sophisticated researches on how to make humans unshackle their hayya and religious principles, and become slaves to their desires (be it carnal, financial, personal, etc), what are our Ulemas doing to stem this flood that I see coming very rapidly, actually its already upon us? 3) What steps are you taking to protect your families, and your future generations? Please add more points. So can we do anything? Or are we helpless? |
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#2 |
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#3 |
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then know and learn how to protect and combat the social engineering and manipulations 3rd courage to apply even if you go against the grain and flow of society 4,treat the moans and complaints of wife and children with hikmah and education and halal outlets i have 3 teenage children |
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#4 |
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The TV is like an open sewer running through your house.
1. THROW THE SHAITAAN BABY SITTER OUT ! 2. People have researched this. You dont ask "what are the Ulema doing about the problems of Diabetes" ?? You leave that to medical researchers. So why havent muslims researched the plethora of information out there that PROVES the detrimental effects on the human psyche. Theres lots out there, you cant rely on Ulema for ALL research into EVERYTHING ?? 3. THREW THE TV OUT. |
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#5 |
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The TV is like an open sewer running through your house. |
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#6 |
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Salaam. Practise and learning of deen for self and children is obviously paramount, but these are the extras:
1. No TV. 2. Encourage distaste for popular culture (boyfriend/girlfriend relationships, fashion, desire to be cool etc.) as early as possible 3. NO MOBILE PHONES - seriously children - even teenagers - DO NOT NEED THIS. I grew up when mobile phones weren't really around. Parents always knew where we were - would pick us up, drop us off etc. Nowadays parents have become infantilised to such an extent by the state and society that they think that oh my goodness what if... what if.. what if.... something happens to my child, they need to call me etc. - well loads of people pre-mobile phone era grew up just fine. Mobile phones are instrumental in young kids accessing porn and such like and the proceeding to try out what they've seen on helpless class mates (the Children's Comissioner recently came out with a report on this). 4. Very strict/limited internet access. 5. Watch their friendship circles carefully. Encourage the non-materialistic ones and try to avoid the ones who always want to be hip/cool or talk in rubbish ways (i.e slang/swearing) 6. Teach them that righteousness is the measure of people - not wealth, beauty, fashion labels, cars, houses, make-up, friends - and reflect this in your own actions. Tell them only that which pleases Allah has real worth in this life and the next. 7. Take an interest in their affairs such that they tell you what is going on with them at school, with their friends etc. 8. Tackle controversial subjects as early as possible with them - the key things that we do differently or that is unacceptable and WHY. 7-10 years is fine to discuss why such and such behaviour is wrong. My daughter is 8 years old and I have already been discussing for a few years discuss modesty/shame/dressing, boyfriend/girlfriend, marriage only acceptable way, parents choosing your wife/husband, homosexuality, alcohol, drugs, pregnancy and babies only in marriage, abortion, fighting for islam, propaganda war against Islam in school, newsparers, governments, slavery in Islam, Prophet Muhammad ![]() 9. One thing that is very important that is often overlooked is that the chilren must know that the society we live in now WANTS TO TAKE THEIR ISLAM AWAY FROM THEM. It wants them to do the rubbish things like they do. Children need to know that they will be told lies about things at school. They need to know that newsparers and news on TV lies about Muslims or even people in other countries. This is because even primary schools are getting quite politicised. Current news events are often discussed with children in class or at assemblies. Some of the things my daughter has been told in school promotes the superiority of the Western world over the Thirld World, other times it promotes the War on Terror dichotomy i.e. these are the goodies, these are the baddies - it is SUBTLE - subtle enough that you can't really take it up with the school and it WILL shape their world-view and outlook unless parents are vigilant and put things into context at home. 10. Children should be made aware how society makes bad things look good and that this is exactly what shaytan wants - for us to believe in the lies and rubbish until we forget Allah and start doing things just to please ourselves even though they are evil and rubbish things. Give concrete examples and tell them what their thought processes should be in those circumstances and what they should do. This is the battleground for Muslim parents - the State and School want to be the ones to direct the way our children THINK - they want a monopoly on their MINDS and thought processes. The battle is already beginning to be lost as soon as we send our child to state school - the rest is just damage limitation from our side, but unfortunately many parents don't have access to good Islamic schools or can't homeschool so the majority of our children will go through the state school propaganda machine. 11. WITHDRAW FROM SEX AND RELATIONSHIP EDUCATION from age 5 all the way through to the end of secondary school. These lessons are part of the PHSE lessons (personal, health and social education) where a lot of brainwashing and "how to think" agendas go on. PHSE lessons are DANGEROUS. It is in these lessons where "controversial" things ate discussed - things that in Islam are black and white but the spin will be put on it that it is actually a grey area where PERSONAL CHOICE comes into it, RESPECT FOR DIFFERENT VIEWPOINTS and NOT JUDGING OTHERS LIFESTYLES (code for accepting all sorts of fahasha). What these lessons do is end up teaching a child that EVERYTHING is relative, and subject to reasoning or get-out clauses and personal whims, that nothing - no values, no viewpoints are absolute or unquestionable with the subtext that even if they come from God and His Messengers or learned scholars that know what they are talking about. This kind of attitude is what we are finding in the loads of Muslim youth, turning murtad up and down Western (and worryingly increasingly Muslim) countries - there is no respect for anything but the SELF, ther EGO. Even God's Words have to be questioned and if necessary thrown out if they do not agree with ME (naudhubillah). This is happening from the way youth (and wider) society is being programmed to think and how to form opinions. They are told this is FREE-THINKING, CRITICAL-THINKING, PROGRESSIVE, UNBIASED, CIVILISED and GOOD when it fact it is the opposite - it just makes them slaves to their nafs and putty in the hands of those with some power in this world. Seriously open up papers like the Guardian that prize themselves on their intellect, their fair-mindedness etc. and you wil so quickly see through the house of cards these "intellectual"s have built, their rank hypocrisy etc. My murtad sister proudly goes around identifying herself as a "Guardianista" because she has been sold the Western-biased liberal critical thinking, democratic clap-trap and thinks these are the values the intelligent hold. Her case is her case for over 10 years now, what can you do - BUT I am beginning to see SIMILAR THOUGHTS IN MY 12 YEAR OLD NEPHEW. I told his mother (my other sister) she needs to keep a close eye on PHSE lessons - because they often fall under the radar being seen as unimportant, wishy-washy lessons - and she was like why? I said this is where they promote stuff like democracy etc. She said what's wrong with that? so I had to use the more clear-cut example of they promote capitalism and things - - so if parents who didn't undergo such heavy brainwashing and propaganda during their school years are clueless about the unislamic nature of many things liberal societies promote then what of the kids these days who are ACTIVELY BEING TARGETED. Citizenship lessons are part of PHSE lessons as well - straight-up propagation of Western liberal values, including the hedonism, it's-my-life way of thinking that is destroying the world. Be aware parents, be very aware is all I can say and discuss these things with your children first before the state apparatus gets to them. Teach them to filter what is taught to them at school, teach them they are often not told all the right things at school, teach them they are often told WRONG things at school. 12. Nurture them so they are clear that YOU i.e. their own parents are the only ones really that actually care about them. What I have seen is that children like teachers because the teachers are nicer than parents. Now however nice parents are, they will still on the whole be stricter than teachers and more often able to make children do the things they do not want to. So children start liking and trusting teachers a lot. These days teachers do push their views onto children, I have heard even in Islamic schools non-Muslim teachers getting away with all sorts of "soft" derogatory comments against Islam or promoting their own lifestyles. I guess it is a reflection of an open society where peole love talking about personal things to all sorts of people without care. So at the moment alhamdulillah my daughter tells me things that teachers or other children say and are quite open if things are worrying her at school. She's already had confrontations with children in her school about Islam bless her and she sticks to her guns. She knows she has support from me at home and that she can ASK and DISCUSS everything and she WILL get an answer inshallah even if it's a few days later. For example - she knows we were created from clay and started being mocked at school by Christian class-mates (goes to a Christian school). She came and told me - and I reinforced the Islamic viewpoint, told her she was correct, praised her for sticking up to them, brought in the Christian perspective showing her how the girls themselves were being hypocritical to their own Bible and showed her Bible verses online to confirm what i had told her, told her non-Muslims beleive their scientists more than what Allah says but even their scientists cannot always hide the truth and told her of an article about living cells being formed in clay, looked up and re-checked the article for my own knowledge and understanding too, to make sure I'd got the right end of the stick, and printed out the article to give to the girls. She needed a little support here so I brought it up with one of the girls mother who are are a Bible-believing family and asked "Oh don't Christians believe humans were created from earth and dust". On receiving the affirmative went briefly into a "oh because we believe same but x i.e your daughter was mocking my daughter" and showed her the article and told her she can keep a copy because "well even the scientists are linking clay with forming life now" So I think that was a pretty comprehensive approach which inshallah reassures my child that Islam is Truth and she is right to stick to it, she can come to me to help sort out difficult things for her, that people making fun of the truth does not make it wrong - it will always be truth, which brings me to a very important point for our children in these times which is: 13. They must have the courage and STRENGTH to stand up for Islam, for themselves being Muslims, because it is TRUTH and GOOD and the only SUCCESS and that even if the whole world says a lie it will still be a lie and we must never support it. That the world wants Muslims to stop believing in Allah but even if you are the last Muslim left you must still hold the truth and never stop believing and worshipping Allah because this life will not be forever. Related themes about next life being eternal and this life being temporary therefore we must NEVER try to jeopardise a place in Jannah. This is heavy stuff and I know it I can see when I am telling them but many parents shy away from it but I personally think it is so important because I think as I said these concepts - this way of thinking need to become a part of who they are - a fabric of their consciousness. They need to be ready for BATTLE (mind mostly but mybe even physical defence for a chance to safeguard that precious eternal slot in Jannah inshallah)- they need to know that those girls in the playground won't be the last - they will forever be having to defend their way of life against people who do not like or understand Islam which brings me to the next few point: 14. Parents must be clued into Islam (firstly and most emphatically obviously) but also the wider world, including current affairs but especially the ruses, ways, methods wider socitey is brainwashing and one of the ways is my emphasising "controversial" (from the Western point of view) aspects of Islam so parents must COUNTERACT these misconceptions and controversies in a PRE-EMPTIVE strike so that our children's worldview is in line with Islam as much as possible from an exremely young age. The non-Muslims know this - when I was reading the school's SRE policy, one thing really jarred with me and confirmed even more what I realised (which far too many Muslim parents will label paranaoia - I call it being vigilant) was the bit where they put how it was important to discuss such things when children are still young beacuse their minds are more likely to mould to what is taught to them at this age . Part of this mind-moulding from our point of view is that arer chidren are NEVER EMBARRASSED about any aspect of Islam which is why parents should discuss things in a sensible straightforward way with the reasons for certain things and emphasising the benefits of it, recalling examples from the Prophet (saw), history, current times. Part of this mind-moulding is to call out Western hypocrisy. "Non-Muslims say this about Muslims but they themselves..... so it doesn't matter what they say - only what Allah and His Rasul ![]() 15. To resist peer-pressure - they are not here to please or follow there friends. They must be disabused of the notion that their friends are the fount of knowledge, wisdom or coolness. I am hearing so much that parents are being held ransom by theire kids for the latest branded items. This is disgusting. One 12 year old told her mother (single, pressed-for-money) they have to go to all the way to Covent Garden to get a particular set of fashion-label PENCILS! She demanded a Blackberry and got it. Why? Why? Don't you see what you're doing to your children in the craze to keep up with the world? And the mother gives in with the very familiar - her behaviour will be worse if I don't, she's left out at school. This is what I meant earlier about preparing your child for the strength to be DIFFERENT and even ALONE. Parents have to take a stance here and become more brave and less materialistic themselves and NOT GIVE IN to popular culture demand. Yes, no-one wants a dork dullard for a son or daughter but the consequences on the other side are dire and are wrecking the youth so a very careful balance needs to be made on whether they need the latest gadget or not - and I mean REALLY and TRULY need - not they need to so they won't be bullied, they need it so they can keep in touch with their friends, they need it because everyone else has one. Anyway my children are still 8 years and under, the REAL test will come when they hit teenagers, but the groundwork for that needs to be laid down even before they hit 4 years old! Please pray for my children that they are deendar, pious, obedient to parents, that they become mumineen and stay mumineen forever and that they NEVER EVER apostate and may Allah make everyone's children like this and may Allah help all us parents direct are children to Him in the best possible way because at the end of the day only Allah guides and I think of Hazrat Nuh's son, I think of my apostate sister and the frequent stories of youth apostasising on the internet and I get terrified of what is out there for my children and the rest of the youth. It's like a flood rushing to me and my children and I can't even stop it. I live in a predominantly non-Muslim area, I know there is some community out there but I don't know how to distinguish to get to a good one, and I really need a learned shaikh to attach my family to. Please make dua for me. |
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#7 |
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true and learn to block and control the internet which is potentially much worse |
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#8 |
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Bismillah Ir-Rehman Ir-Raheem
Assalam-Alaikum Sister Saj: May Allah guide us on the Straight Path, and enable the children of our Ummah to enter Jannatul-Firdous. Masha-Allah, I have benefited from your words. ![]() Alhamdullilah wa shukrunlillah. Assalam-Alaikum: May Allah guide us to the Straight Path, and make us the means of guidance for the children and youth of this Ummah. I believe it is really, really important to teach your children from a very early age the importance of Islam: Share with them the Attributes of Allah ![]() ![]() Parents must be extremely vigilant about how children are internalizing the topics/subjects discussed in school; be sure you discuss even grey topics with them clearly, so that way you will be teaching them how to reason about them. Parents are somewhat godlike figures to children; they want to imitate the parents; so, be sure you are following through on what you are teaching them. Also, don't assume an attitude of, "I am the parent; so, you must listen to me." Talk to your children even about the punishments you assign them and answer their questions (of whatever nature) with patience and wisdom. Other than all of the advice listed above, please always remember that parents' dua for their children are highly maqbul ("accepted") in Allah's Court; so, make it a habit to pray for your children, especially for Allah to guide them on the Straight Path and for their protection from all evils. You probably do this already; but this is just a reminder, so Insha-Allah, that we don't forget that our children's hearts and fates, like ours, is ultimately under the Power and Supreme Will of Allah ![]() The Messenger of Allah ![]() ![]() ![]() If I have said anything that is good and true, it is from Allah, and anything other than that is my own mistake. |
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#11 |
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So so true, and these days everything they can get on the interent they can get onto their mobile-phones as well, so even if the computer is in the family room, they can see whatever on their phones. I am TOTALLY against mobile phones for children and TEENAGERS completely. ![]() |
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