[eXC3Kvnn]

I do not see anyone either religious or jahil who would give his daughter to be someones midday cooker 2nd wife.

many times it was made clear, that cooking food is not the only issue.. thought its very important..

Ok.. let her not cook the food.. atleast she can force me to eat on time

[maxfieldj1]

Brother Warea, your points are valid and appreciated. I will not take part in this discussion any longer since it was closed under another thread by a moderator but for some reason these brothers felt it wise to open the thread again, disrespecting the sister who closed it and that speaks volumes in itself. Again, and to you.

[Wluwsdtn]

Walaikum assalaam

I didn't know that the former thread was closed. But in any case, I have put forth my point of view and will thereby choose to refrain from more comments here.

[Adamdjeffe]

The question was to personalise it and not give answers on others behalf. If your reluctant it shows there are issues behind your suppport. The sunnah teaches us that imaan is not complete until a person would want for his brother what he wants for himself. If you wouldn't want your own daughter in such a situation, then wishing it upon the daughters of others is problematic.

what you on about?

i dont wish being a second wife on anyone except those who wish to be a second wife.

if someone does not want to be a second wife then that is entirely their choice.

I do not see anyone either religious or jahil who would give his daughter to be someones midday cooker 2nd wife. Unless if the person was such a religious blessing and a relationship with him would in anycase have spiritual significance in establishing geneological connection. The only person otherwise who would be subject to agree would be the people of poverty who are forced into giving their daughter, as in the case of gulf Arab frauds preying on poor young women in foreign countries as we see in plenty of cases, because these poor people are not knowledgable and sharp enough to recognise or poverty has forced them to it.

people marry for all sorts of reasons. who are you to judge them on their reason for marriage if they are not going against Allah's hukam?

And before ascribing it to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam,

1) note that it was a custom even before the prophet
2) slavery was also a custom, so you should infact support it today and promote slavery as per your criteria
3) do clarify if you have any basis to think that they had the intention of marrying multiple women to merely cook their midday meals.

1) so was wearing clothes
2) we are talking about marriage, not slavery.
3) is it haram for someone to marry for his midday meals as long as he fulfills all his obligations to his wife?

And when you quote the hadith of tirmidhi, its like quoting hadith on obedience to parents and apply it in forcing women to get married or using it to pressure women to get married to someone irreligious. I.e your misplacing the hadith and intending by it what was not intended in the text. And it is indeed contridictory as the sunnah is to choose a partner based on his/her religious piety or else be ruined. While what is being promoted here is to choose a partner based on who would be ready to be a midday cooker wife.

do you really think a pious brother such as 'not known' would get married to someone who will ruin his akhirah, but be able to make nice biryani? why cant he marry someone who can make nice biryani and ALSO be a good muslimah?

[Pete789]

Marrying till 4 is HALAAL. Refer Surah Nisa verse 3. THEN WHAT IS THE PROBLEM?
Perhaps one can advice, 'hey if you can't do justice its better not to marry the second'.
But Do NOT speak as if Polygamy is HARAAM.

[karaburatoreror]

al-Salam 'Alaykum,

Theoretically, his reason might have some grounding but again I feel there is some alternatives left for him to try if he already hasn't. People should refrain from getting over worked about this situation.

[PetraCromlich]

This is the problem I have with the movement pushing people into a 2nd nikkah. They are not teaching and educating anything, just pushing people into situations they have no knowledge about.

I think before we make people rush headlong into a 2nd nikkah, first we have to give them some knowledge about rights and responsibilities. In this case it was evident, OP has desire for a 2nd wife to cook him lunch - ya we dont live life by the book and no one lives their household life according solely within boundaries of huqooq, there is a lot of flexibility - but at least huqooq should be known and understood. This is why I recommended that he get in touch with an alim/shaikh and go over his situation and that he approach this plainly to get a 2nd wife and not approach it to get a 2nd wife who will cook lunch for him. Any alim shaikh would tell him that this is not a wise approach.

What if OP had found a girl for 2nd nikkah, set her up in the other flat and asked her to cook and she had refused to cook? His house of cards would fall.

[Tauntenue]

السلام عليكم

Dear Brother Not Known,

You sent me your thread link on email to read it a few days ago. I read it today. I just want to say somethings here. Although I can say it to you in private but I can't resist making it public. I registered here just to say this

The purpose of your thread is one of the following:

1) You are looking for a wife on SF

2) You want to create some activity on SF

3) "Mazay Lena" (You just want to enjoy people's comments)

............

Khair, if you are serious just do mashwara with 1-2 people for Barakat. No need to ask Shaikh or Maulana's or anyone else cause it very simple that their mashwaras will always be based on their own understanding of Ta'ddud e Azwaaj. They will always discourage you in the context of hikmah. They will never consider your own needs. They will always see it as evil. They will make you feel bad for even thinking of a second wife. Some of the comments on your closed thread are very sad.

Nobody knows your situation, nobody knows what you are going through. Eveyrone gives general advices. People will do everything to stop you from getting another wife.

Just do an experiment. Go and consult any Shaikh. He won't even ask you why you need to marry, do you really need to marry, etc etc. He'll just stop you saying that When a Sunnah creates problems, it should be left. He won't tell you that we ourselves have problems with Sunnah and to correct it we should practice the sunnah. He will try his best to stop you without asking for your needs.

No need to ask anyone, just go and do it. But if you face problems in your life later on, face them with the belief that this world is a jail for Momineen and a prisoner is bound to face hardships in jail.

In short, if your wife is understanding and your mum allows you (even though you don't need her permission but still you need to make her happy), then just do it....

والسلام

Taliban

P.S: Don't tell the 2nd that you are bringing her to cook food for you :P

You never cease to amaze me.
Welcome back..

[CHEAPPoem]

I am well aware of controlling desires and follow the commands of Allah... that is the reason I married at at the age of 24 and now I am 26

Anyway here is my todays schedule.. hope many of you will get what I am talking about.

I could have easily ate some snacks or anything outside.. but i don't eat.. that is the problem usually with my food.

usually i am out from 9.30 am to 9.30 pm.. so what is wrong if I have an another wife with me in this time ? who can look after my eating timings and food.

aoa,

you should just follw what is stated in islamic texts: you are allowed to marry again IF you can give both your wives their rights.
ofcourse marrying again isnt haram and you can do it if you want. but it is a very big IF.
if you find it easier to carry some home made food with you then that can work too (or any other solution besides a second wife). if you think only a second marriage will work then its your choice. but remb the big IF: you have to distribute your wealth, time and affection. if you can do it make istikhara and go ahead. if you are undecided still make istikhara. thats better than explaining yourself to self-opinionated people here.