[KacypeJeope]

Assalamu Alaikum,

I've never had that problem at work or university. Outside these areas I did come across it and I politely declined. I don't think he understood to be honest but he accepted my explanation politely.

I think muslims can feel embarrassed about certain elements of their faith, and in their bid to explain things to non-muslims they come across apologetic or just succumb to their demands.

This is one of those situations. You might feel like a fool, declining what appears to be a minor sin, but every sin is great if we keep in mind who it is we're sinning against right?

Fi Aman'Allah

[NEWyear]

Let's just leave the discussion at:

"2246 The safer legal position is that the man should try his best
not > to touch an unrelated woman (even casually)
> who is not his wife."

At least for us Malikis.

[NEWyear]

I've asked the Shaykh, may Allah (SWT) preserve him, a clarifying question. If he does respond, I will insha Allah post it when I recieve it.

[bixlewlyimila]

I''ll just drop the question here because it has something to with the topic...

Its allowed to shake hands with the opposite sex if they are eldery:
It is prohibited to shake hands with non-immediate relations of the opposite sex, except when:
a) they are elderly; and
b) there is no fear of temptation or desire.
When not elderly, it is not permitted even without such fear, and is sinful. http://www.sunnipath.com/resources/Q...a00004158.aspx So it is allowed if one is old and there is no fear of fitnah. But can someone present to me the daleel for this statement? I once read that Abu bakr shook hands with old women...

[VrQsgM7c]

salam
got a job interview coming up and dreading it because there are two women on the panel.

one bro on the thread has suggested carrying a hanky and pretending to have a cold

any other suggestions?

[tretcheenia]

Bro
whenever keep a handerkercheif with u all the time and when ever you think the situation will arise then have it out, i.e. hold it, they wont put their hand out to u as they will think you have a flu
This has worked for many

Absolute genius!

[infollafago]

WA wr wb..

What we can do is say that we don't shake w/ opposite gender because of religious reasons. Usually, this works well if you smile and say sorry, and not a sorry of i can't shake your hand but a sorry that she didn't know the laws of monotheistic religions and embarrassed herself. I heard many followers of today's Judaism don't shake w/ opposite genders either, so this will help you explain if they are one of the very few who asks, "why not."

According to a hadith it says something like we can shake w/ opposite gender if we have a glove on and without squeezing or applying pressure...Allah knows best.

[gyjsdtuwr]

Just wanted to revive the original purpose of this thread again, to get some ideas as to what people usually say when declining to shake hands (it has quite categorically been established that it is impermissible and even if there is some disagreement, lets just try to keep that aside for now).

Here are some of the responses I have received to this question from various places:

Place your hand on across your chest and politely say any of the following:

i) I apologize, I cannot shake hands for religious reasons
ii) I apologize, I am not allowed to shake hands with women
iii) I apologize, I cannot shake hands with the opposite sex

If anyone has any other strategies please do share.

Finally, two questions:

a) How do you tackle a situation when you have an interview with one man and a woman and you shake the man's hand and decline to shake the woman's hand (from a brother's perspective)?

b) Is a polite nod of the head also considered to be bowing and therefore impermissible?

JazakAllahu Khairan

[Olympicdreams]

I had a interview for med school and amongst them was a lady.....My shaykh told me to bang my hands a few times against a wall (lightly) and wear a "wrist brace" and tell my interviewees that i injured my hand and its a bit swollen

[massons]

Just sneeze at the critical juncture when she is reaching out her hands. If timed correctly, loud enough, with a bit of collateral sprayings, she should jump backwards immediately.

[gyjsdtuwr]

Just sneeze at the critical juncture when she is reaching out her hands. If timed correctly, loud enough, with a bit of collateral sprayings, she should jump backwards immediately.

with the type of flu thats supposedly going around these days, a lot more could happen in that case : P

[massons]

You're right. My bright idea can be developed further. Displaying the right symptoms you can create a more dramatic effect than her simply jumping backwards - evacuation and quarantine!

I suppose you can kiss goodbye to your job prospects at that point

[Lyikmcmb]

Question

Can you please comment on the authenticity of this hadith and provide its reference.

Rasulullah S.A.W. said "It is better for a man that a steel nail be driven through the centre of his head....rather than if he touches the palm of a strange women" Rasulullah S.A.W. said "It is better for a man that a steel nail be driven through the centre of his head....rather than if he touches the palm of a strange women"

Answer

The hadith in question is a narration of Ma'qil ibn Yasaar (Radhiallahu Anhu) who narrates that Nabi (Sallallahu Alaihi wasallam) said: "It is better for an iron rod (nail, needle etc) to be driven into the head of a man, than for him to touch a woman who is not permissible for him." The hadith is narrated by the great Hafiz of Hadith , at-Tabrani, in his al-Mu'jam al-Kabir (Vol.20 Pg.211) and by the Muhaddith al-Ruyaani, in his Musnad (Vol.2 Pg.323).

This narration has been classified as Sahih (authentic) by Allamah ibn Hajr al-Haitami in his az-Zawajir while both Hafiz Munzhiri in his at-Targheeb wat Tarheeb (Vol.3 Pg.26) and Hafiz Nuruddeen Haithami in Majma'uz Zawaid (Vo.4 Pg.326) have classified all its narrators as reliable narrators of Sahih Muslim.

and Allah Ta'ala Knows Best

Mufti Husain Kadodia
STUDENT: Darul Ifta

CHECKED & APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai (Fatwa Dept.)

[vSzsgifP]

Assalamoalikum Brothers and Sisters

Mashallah very good topic. Alot of Muslims meet these situations and some times declining the gesture is percieved neagtively by opposite gender. Allhumdulilah i believe that we should carry on avoiding shaking hands as we have to please Allah swt not the people. Hopefully they will understand someday.

According to my understanding, it is not permissible to shake hands with the opposite gender. These days, you can actually inform the university that you don't shake hands so on graduation day you don't face any embarrasing situation. some non Muslims have become more understanding towards the Muslims. I once refused to shake my hands and the guy actually said sorry to me so just let them know politely that you don't feel comfortable. I personally wouldn't shake a non mehram's hand so i just say i feel uncomfortable, i dnt shake hands with the opposite gender.

Btw, very beneficial threads on this forum Mashallah.

Take Care

Wasalaam

[SypeKifef]

Allahu a'lam whether Yasir Qadhi shakes women's hands or not, but I wouldn't take seriously the accounts of a deranged woman who believes atheists can be muslims.
Would any sane person call a meat-eater vegetarian? No. Yet some people think atheists can be muslims.

Plus we are commanded in the Quran to be wary of any reports coming from a fasiq, so what of the accounts of someone who is barely muslim?

[TouccuraLar]

I don't decline a hand that has been stretched out for me, that would be considered rude & I don't want to come across as rude or obnoxious.


In some Muslim countries its the norm to shake hands between the sexes without anyone attaching any sexual connotations to it.

[Suvaxal]

I don't decline a hand that has been stretched out for me, that would be considered rude & I don't want to come across as rude or obnoxious.


In some Muslim countries its the norm to shake hands between the sexes without anyone attaching any sexual connotations to it.

Well, we are talking about what Islam says, not what Muslims do. In some Muslim countries, the hijab is banned from public institutions, alcohol is widely consumed, fornication and gambling are the norm, etc. That doesn't mean it's sanctioned by Islam.

[Oppofeescom]

Shaking Hands With the Opposite Sex Is Haram, & The Importance of Holding On To One's Deen :
Answered by Shaykh Abdurrahman ibn Yusuf, California

QUESTION: Many brothers ask by email about the issue of shaking hands with women in professional settings where, they say, not doing so would harm or impede their ability to function. They may not get hired, promoted, or accepted in professional areas (such as law) where Muslim presence is essential. I checked what some major contemporary traditional fuqaha, such as Shaykh Taqi Usmani and some of my teachers in Damascus, had to say, and they are very firm on this point. But the brothers who asked are saying that such answers belie a lack of understanding of "Western realities." They are saying that it is not possible to function in professional Western work environments without shaking hands with women. What would you answer and advise about this issue, Sayyidi?

ANSWER:

Assalamu alaykum

In the name of the Inspirer of truth.

No, it is not permissible to shake hands with women at all. There are many reports from the Prophet Sallallahi alayhi wasallam that he never shook the hands of any women, despite his status as a Prophet. All the allegiance [bay'a] he took was either without holding the hand or with a cloth tied around it. He explicitly informed the women when they extended their hands to him that he did not shake hands with women. [See Muhammad Ibn Sa'd, The Women in Madina, Chapter One: The manner in which the Messenger of Allah received women's allegiance]

Hence, we can find no leeway to change this ruling. Many non-Islamic practices are rife in the business and corporate world. We are constantly asked about the permissibility of sitting at the same table with a client where alcohol is served; the permissibility of holding private meetings with women behind closed doors without any third person in the room, performing Zuhr instead of Jumu'ah if one is occupied in a meeting at the time of the Khutbah; shedding the hijab to seek employment; shaving the beard for such purposes and so on; not to mention usury and interest bearing loans. The list is endless. So, how does a person want to assimilate, and sell his hereafter for this transient world.

Yes, certain "fatwas" are to be found on these issues from so called scholars. Much of the religion has already been compromised in a such a way. We are aware of a Masjid in a city in California where "Islamic Dating" is promoted. Their practice is backed by seemingly convincing logical arguments which sounds very attractive, but how far can the matter be taken, and how much of the religion will remain if this course continues to be followed?

No body said it was easy to follow the din in the twenty-first century; whether one is in a Muslim country or the West. Didn't the Prophet Sallalahu alayhi wasallam say that a time will come when a person following his religion will be like one holding on to a cinder, and did he not say this world is a prison for a believer and a Paradise for the non-believer. One must remember that through perseverance and refraining from sin [sabr ani 'l-ma'siyah] there are great rewards to be gained, despite the apparent monetary or such losses one may have to incur in this world.

The regular American [since the issue of shaking hands with a women is a greater problem in America] is normally very understanding and accommodating of other people's religious requirements. If politely informed, they normally act with understanding and are prepared to be more accommodating.

If the scholars begin to offer discretion and allowance on certain issues which are rigid in the Shari'a under the excuse of changing times, then how will the original rulings in those issues ever be revived? The sunna and proper practices will be lost for ever and innovations will take their place. Those who attempt to adhere to the correct rulings of Shari'ah in these issues would feel isolated and weak.

Therefore, it must be made clear that the traditional jurists [muftis] who are not able to give discretions in such issues is not due to some short-sightedness or ignorance. It is merely to keep the religion intact and whole. Yes, if someone in certain situations is forced to act contrary to the sunna then that is a personal problem in which tawba [repentance] should be made.

Whoever fears Allah, Allah will make a way out for them.

And He knows best.

Abdurrahman ibn Yusuf

[SypeKifef]

Some people clearly need to get their priorities in order.

[WomanBreast40356]

Place your hand on across your chest and politely say any of the following:

i) I apologize, I cannot shake hands for religious reasons
ii) I apologize, I am not allowed to shake hands with women
iii) I apologize, I cannot shake hands with the opposite sex

Yeah I use either i) or a combination of i) and ii). Most people will accept this if in good spirit as long as you don't look angry while saying it!