[IntinyBut]

asalam alaikum

i post this question before but it not appear so im posting again. my sister get married 2 years back and 6 month ago she discover her husband have secret second wife. he keep denying this so my family not sure about this and we not take very seriously. but my sister doubt very strongly so she start work as teacher at junior college to support herself and son. now some days back her husband caught redhand because we find birth certificate of new baby with second wife on govt website. he now accept he have second wife and my family in shocked. he say second wife from powerful family so he cannot leave and he hav to give more better support to her and give better house etc. he also against my sister working saying it not islamic to teach boys but what he do is islamic!!!! my sister still work as nobody to support her. she asking for divorce because she feel cheated by husband. my father and brother saying no divorce but she is in shock. also husband refusing talaq and saying he will not lie anymore and ask forgiveness from my father. husband was best friend of my brother but still he did this act. we approach alim for guide us and he say also that dont go divorce. what my sister should do? any help is appreciate. thank you jazakalah.

farah

[didrexx]

sister. Please take a look at this: http://www.askimam.org/fatwa/fatwa.p...8fc34bca8241bf it is interesting since it also may provide the perspective of what the other wife in your sister's situation might be feeling too.

[Anykeylo]

He is not sinful for having a second wife...but he is sinful for lying and also treating both of his wifes unfairly because you said he supports his second wife but not first wife and in the aakhirah this will be a major adhaab for him unless he changes his way

The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: When a man has two wives and he is inclined to one of them, he will come on the Day of resurrection with a side hanging down. (abu dawood)

[Chooriwrocaxz]

asalam alaikum

i post this question before but it not appear so im posting again. my sister get married 2 years back and 6 month ago she discover her husband have secret second wife. he keep denying this so my family not sure about this and we not take very seriously. but my sister doubt very strongly so she start work as teacher at junior college to support herself and son. now some days back her husband caught redhand because we find birth certificate of new baby with second wife on govt website. he now accept he have second wife and my family in shocked. he say second wife from powerful family so he cannot leave and he hav to give more better support to her and give better house etc. he also against my sister working saying it not islamic to teach boys but what he do is islamic!!!! my sister still work as nobody to support her. she asking for divorce because she feel cheated by husband. my father and brother saying no divorce but she is in shock. also husband refusing talaq and saying he will not lie anymore and ask forgiveness from my father. husband was best friend of my brother but still he did this act. we approach alim for guide us and he say also that dont go divorce. what my sister should do? any help is appreciate. thank you jazakalah.

farah

sister.
May Allah give your sister sabr and istiqamah. I would not advise or suggest a divorce in these circumstances either. Agreed that he has married another woman and lied but he is still willing to stay with your sister and accepts her as his legally wedded wife. Even if he is a poor provider, at least her children have the name of their father. If she chooses to separate permanently from him, then she will be left with nothing at all. If he is incapable of providing support for his wife and children, then he should be told that your sister will continue to work to support herself and the children. At the same time, your father and brothers can also help your sister out financially and with the children's education etc. Hope this helps.

[IntinyBut]

thankyou very much for replies. i spoke to my sister today and she say she have big fight with his husband. the husband tell her to leave job and take care of home but she say she have to support herself. he also have big ego so he say no money to my sister from father. my sister want earn money so if divorce happen she can ask for son to judge because she have money to brought up child. husband now saying many times if she go for divorce he get to keep baby so that is why she want work now. he saying he support my sister but second wife get too much more money because he say she from very rich family. also i find out second wife is too much modern no burqa many boy friend befroe and things like that. i also think maybe divorce not good idea but sister is still saying she want divorce. she was very very sad today because one teacher makes fun of her for her husband having another wife. in hyderabad it is too shameful if u marry two girls. but she saying what future she hav with man she hav no trust? and he spend all weekend with other wife saying she hav newborn baby so she need help, but my sister also hav 1 year baby and he not care. he act very nice and ask forgiveness when father call, brother call and say allah rasul but he not caring so much for my sister. so she not see comfortble life with this man. we all try convince her but she nt listen. pray for her pleeeeeez inshaallah her problem is solved by allah taala. thankyou for prayer jazakallah.

[Suvaxal]

thankyou very much for replies. i spoke to my sister today and she say she have big fight with his husband. the husband tell her to leave job and take care of home but she say she have to support herself. he also have big ego so he say no money to my sister from father. my sister want earn money so if divorce happen she can ask for son to judge because she have money to brought up child. husband now saying many times if she go for divorce he get to keep baby so that is why she want work now. he saying he support my sister but second wife get too much more money because he say she from very rich family. also i find out second wife is too much modern no burqa many boy friend befroe and things like that. i also think maybe divorce not good idea but sister is still saying she want divorce. she was very very sad today because one teacher makes fun of her for her husband having another wife. in hyderabad it is too shameful if u marry two girls. but she saying what future she hav with man she hav no trust? and he spend all weekend with other wife saying she hav newborn baby so she need help, but my sister also hav 1 year baby and he not care. he act very nice and ask forgiveness when father call, brother call and say allah rasul but he not caring so much for my sister. so she not see comfortble life with this man. we all try convince her but she nt listen. pray for her pleeeeeez inshaallah her problem is solved by allah taala. thankyou for prayer jazakallah.

He has to be just with both wives. Tell her to seek advice from local 'ulama WITH her husband so that the husband can be told that he is doing wrong by not being just to both wives. His excuse that the other wife is from a powerful family is not a valid excuse. Also, your sister should look at the practical aspect of this. If the husband does end up becoming more just in his dealing with both wives, would she still want a divorce? Also, it is in his right to get a second, third, or fourth wife as long as he supports all equally and doesn't play favourite by giving more money for supporting one wife above all the rest. He was wrong in lying and deceiving but that is not enough of a reason to warrant a divorce.

Again, both should go together to speak to a Mufti about this issue so that her husband can be persuaded to treat them both equally. If it becomes burdensome for him to treat both equally, he will divorce by his own will whoever he pleases. Since her husband is saying that it isn't Islamic for her to get a job, she should tell him that it isn't Islamic for him to be unjust in his dealings - he has to treat them both equally.

[JJoon077]

It seems like the issue is polygamy.Although he was wrong for lying and covering it up.Some men do so because of the way women act about this issue.Allah has made polygamy halal as long as the man can treat them equally.This western mindset that too many Muslim women have nowadays need to go.Our examples are the wives[ra] of the Prophet [saws] and not these kaffir women.We need to understand and practice our religion better.