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Old 11-19-2011, 07:24 AM   #1
Wavgbtif

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Default Why won't Muslims shake my hand?
I've had this quite a lot of times.
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Old 11-19-2011, 07:47 AM   #2
KlaraNovikoffa

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Peace,

Do you mean, why don't non relative Muslim males shake your hand? It's because they follow the advice and practices of the Prophet Muhammad who did not shake hands with women who he could be married to.
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Old 11-19-2011, 07:50 AM   #3
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Peace,

Do you mean, why don't non relative Muslim males shake your hand? It's because they follow the advice and practices of the Prophet Muhammad who did not shake hands with women who he could be married to.
We did a big cultural awareness thing last year when we went to a Muslim area of an inner city and organised a lot of things. But at the end of it they refused to shake our hands. I found it extremely offensive, especially after we'd put all that time and effort in to try and help them.
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Old 11-19-2011, 08:14 AM   #4
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Bismillah Al-Rehman Al-Raheem

Dear Sister Lorelei:

When I was a child, whenever we were about to visit a home of another, I was told strictly by my parents to not touch anything that was mine. And I didn't, because I did not have the right.

The reason Muslim men did not shake your hand (or of another woman) is because they honor and respect you as a woman and a person who has a right to her dignity, her individual and breathing space, and her self-respect. Also, their hands are not their own but a trust given to them by Allah for touching only those females who are given to them in trust by virtue of either a blood bond like a sister, mother, or child or in the sacred bond of marriage as a wife.

How can they afford to consider the offenses that will be imagined by you or others when the concern that occupies them is the pleasure of Allah? Why should they transgress the bounds of Allah to please any human being?

I was told not to touch anything that was mine by only my parents who raised me, but they (Muslim men) are told not to touch any non-mehram by Allah, their Creator. Why should they be put to shame for obeying their Creator instead of the customs of any culture which change according to times? (Did you not know that in U.K. once doing the same would be an offense, as evidenced by early history of the land?)

Also, science has well proven that men are stimulated by sight but women by touch. How can they (these men) touch you when your husband should have the honor and the right to your person and being instead of any stranger?

No, Sister, they were right not to shake your hand. And you should not hold a grudge in your heart or mind, for the offense was such a beautiful one by will of Allah and for the sake of Allah.

If I have said anything that is good and true, it is from Allah, and anything other than that is my own mistake.
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Old 11-19-2011, 08:18 AM   #5
Wavgbtif

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Bismillah Al-Rehman Al-Raheem

Dear Sister Lorelei:

When I was a child, whenever we were about to visit a home of another, I was told strictly by my parents to not touch anything that was mine. And I didn't, because I did not have the right.

The reason Muslim men did not shake your hand (or of another woman) is because they honor and respect you as a woman and a person who has a right to her dignity, her individual and breathing space, and her self-respect. Also, their hands are not their own but a trust given to them by Allah for touching only those females who are given to them in trust by virtue of either a blood bond like a sister, mother, or child or in the sacred bond of marriage as a wife.

How can they afford to consider the offenses that will be imagined by you or others when the concern that occupies them is the pleasure of Allah? Why should they transgress the bounds of Allah to please any human being?

I was told not to touch anything that was mine by only my parents who raised me, but they (Muslim men) are told not to touch any non-mehram by Allah, their Creator. Why should they be put to shame for listening to their Creator instead of the customs of your culture which change according to times? (Did you not know that in U.K. once doing the same would be an offense in early history?)

Also, science has well proven that men are stimulated by sight but women by touch. How can they (these men) touch you when your husband should have the honor and the right to your person and being instead of any stranger?

No, Sister, they were right not to shake your hand. And you should not hold a grudge in your heart or mind, for the offense was such a beautiful one by will of Allah and for the sake of Allah.

If I have said anything that is good and true, it is from Allah, and anything other than that is my own mistake.
I find it insulting and degrading. If they want to live in our country, they should adapt to our customs. If not, they are free to leave.
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Old 11-19-2011, 08:35 AM   #6
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Bismillah Al-Rehman Al-Raheem

Dear Sister Lorelei:

Why should they leave that land? Who created that land? You? No, you do not have the power.

Allah created that land.

Why should they leave a land of which they hold citizenship, as permitted by the U.K. government?

You know, Lorelei, whenever my high school lunch mates, invited me to use drugs, I simply told them no and just did not go. If you are offended, perhaps you should also not go to such events.

Also, Sister, I find the act of a male who is not my relative touching me degrading and insulting. Perhaps you have your own view, and I have my own view. Then, Sister, how can we judge who is right? I say Allah.

Moreover, if tomorrow, say the Muslim men started following your customs, and that satisfied you. But very soon, I am sure you would find a custom of another group ensuing from that particular group's beliefs offensive to you. In that case, you will still not be pleased, for you will find reasons for your feeling your offenses.

Someone very wise once said, "You can't please everyone." And I agree. You can't. Therefore, excuse my ignorance, Sister, but I and other Muslims will Insha-Allah (God-willing) follow the will of Allah, our Creator, rather than any customs of human beings that does not agree with His will. Perhaps you have forgotten that even the Christian Lord's prayer holds the phrase, "thy will be done," and I cannot help but agree that His Will takes precedence over ours.

I am sorry, however, to hear that you feel this way, but I cannot change how you feel. You have a right to your own feelings, and I and others have a right to our peace of mind Alhamdullilah (Praise to God) and our deen (way of life).

If I have said anything that is good and true, it is from Allah, and anything other than that is my own mistake.
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Old 11-19-2011, 08:43 AM   #7
Wavgbtif

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Bismillah Al-Rehman Al-Raheem

Dear Sister Lorelei:

Why should they leave that land? Who created that land? You? No, you do not have the power.

Allah created that land.

Why should they leave a land of which they hold citizenship, as permitted by the U.K. government?

You know, Lorelei, whenever my high school lunch mates, invited me to use drugs, I simply told them no and just did not go. If you are offended, perhaps you should also not go to such events.

Also, Sister, I find the act of a male who is not my relative touching me degrading and insulting. Perhaps you have your own view, and I have my own view. Then, Sister, how can we judge who is right? I say Allah.

Moreover, if tomorrow, say the Muslim men started following your customs, and that satisfied you. But very soon, I am sure you would find a custom of another group ensuing from that particular group's beliefs offensive to you. In that case, you will still not be pleased, for you will find reasons for your feeling your offenses.

Someone very wise once said, "You can't please everyone." And I agree. You can't. Therefore, excuse my ignorance, Sister, but I and other Muslims will Insha-Allah (God-willing) follow the will of Allah, our Creator, rather than any customs of human beings that does not agree with His will. Perhaps you have forgotten that even the Christian Lord's prayer holds the phrase, "thy will be done," and I cannot help but agree that His Will takes precedence over ours.

I am sorry, however, to hear that you feel this way, but I cannot change how you feel. You have a right to your own feelings, and I and others have a right to our peace of mind Alhamdullilah (Praise to God) and our deen (way of life).

If I have said anything that is good and true, it is from Allah, and anything other than that is my own mistake.
Christians are banned from Saudi Arabia, I believe. So what's the difference? I don't believe Allah created the land either, since I don't believe in him.
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Old 11-19-2011, 08:51 AM   #8
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I find it insulting and degrading. If they want to live in our country, they should adapt to our customs. If not, they are free to leave. Tomorrow you may ask to do other things!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Should we follow THE customs.
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Old 11-19-2011, 08:52 AM   #9
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Christians are banned from Saudi Arabia, I believe. So what's the difference? I don't believe Allah created the land either, since I don't believe in him.
The fact that you have these gross misconceptions which are completely unjustified makes it difficult to have a dialogue or debate with you.

No religion is banned from Saudi Arabia. So I don't know how I can disprove something false.

Do you believe that a God created the land? If so then we believe in that God.

How do you define who is native of your country? Do you have to be white? Do you need to have certain values and certain behaviour without which you cannot be a citizen of that country? Please define who can and cannot be a part of your country.

I find it offensive that people will judge me and discriminate against me because I am choosing to practice on my personal preference. Its not anyone's business why I am doing this. I don't hate the person or anything but I wouldn't shake hands with a Muslim woman either and a Muslim woman would refuse to shake hands with man as well. I mean where does it stop. Are we expected to kiss goodbyes as well?
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Old 11-19-2011, 08:53 AM   #10
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I find it insulting and degrading. If they want to live in our country, they should adapt to our customs. If not, they are free to leave.

Tomorrow you may ask to do other things!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Follow your customs.
It's a question of manners, and etiquette. If someone refuses to shake my hand because I'm a woman, then I owe him no respect or consideration at all.
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Old 11-19-2011, 08:56 AM   #11
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The fact that you have these gross misconceptions which are completely unjustified makes it difficult to have a dialogue or debate with you.

No religion is banned from Saudi Arabia. So I don't know how I can disprove something false.

Do you believe that a God created the land? If so then we believe in that God.

How do you define who is native of your country? Do you have to be white? Do you need to have certain values and certain behaviour without which you cannot be a citizen of that country? Please define who can and cannot be a part of your country.
I don't believe a god created our land. In fact it has been tamed and made habitable by hundreds of generations of people. Just as I would not go to a Muslim country and insult their customs (in fact I wouldn't go to one at all), I think we deserve the same respect.
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Old 11-19-2011, 08:59 AM   #12
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I don't believe a god created our land. In fact it has been tamed and made habitable by hundreds of generations of people. Just as I would not go to a Muslim country and insult their customs (in fact I wouldn't go to one at all), I think we deserve the same respect.
No one is insulting your customs. We just refuse to follow it. Also are you saying Muslims cannot be British? What about a white British convert? Is he British? How do you define a citizen of your country. I don't get it.

All land belongs to God. Yes people have developed it, but by the ability given to them by God. This is a simple concept even a Christian should understand. Unless you are atheist? Are you atheist or Christian? Can atheists be British?
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Old 11-19-2011, 09:01 AM   #13
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I've had this quite a lot of times.
Because our beloved doesn't like it.
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Old 11-19-2011, 09:03 AM   #14
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It's a question of manners, and etiquette. If someone refuses to shake my hand because I'm a woman, then I owe him no respect or consideration at all.
As I said, your society agrees that many acts are valid according to your manners and etiquette, we muslims will never agree to that.
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Old 11-19-2011, 09:03 AM   #15
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No one is insulting your customs. We just refuse to follow it. Also are you saying Muslims cannot be British? What about a white British convert? Is he British? How do you define a citizen of your country. I don't get it.

All land belongs to God. Yes people have developed it, but by the ability given to them by God. This is a simple concept even a Christian should understand. Unless you are atheist? Are you atheist or Christian? Can atheists be British?
I'm not a Christian, and I don't believe in any single, monotheist god.

British citizenship is an artificial legal construct that can be changed at any time. All I'm saying is that Muslim countries have always imposed limits on other religious practices, so you can't complain if the converse becomes the case, can you?
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Old 11-19-2011, 09:04 AM   #16
KlaraNovikoffa

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We did a big cultural awareness thing last year when we went to a Muslim area of an inner city and organised a lot of things. But at the end of it they refused to shake our hands. I found it extremely offensive, especially after we'd put all that time and effort in to try and help them.
It could have been lack of wisdom in their approach to refuse, but Muslims find it offensive to shake a non relative woman's hand.

So if you want to broaden your understanding of Islam and Muslims, help yourself in understanding their ways. Or do you want to force your culture on Muslims?
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Old 11-19-2011, 09:05 AM   #17
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It could have been lack of wisdom in their approach to refuse, but Muslims find it offensive to shake a non relative woman's hand.

So if you want to broaden your understanding of Islam and Muslims, help yourself in understanding their ways. Or do you want to force your culture on Muslims?
I'm not attempting to force my culture on anyone. I just want to understand why they do those things.
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Old 11-19-2011, 09:06 AM   #18
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I'm not a Christian, and I don't believe in any single, monotheist god.

British citizenship is an artificial legal construct that can be changed at any time. All I'm saying is that Muslim countries have always imposed limits on other religious practices, so you can't complain if the converse becomes the case, can you?
No we can't complain. We will live only in those lands where we can practice our religion. If you want to persecute us by making laws forcing us to disobey our religion we will have to move. However we will try to gain rights to practice our religion through legal means. As far as I know there is no law obligating me to shake someone's hands.

Also some of your ideas like Muslim countries have always constrained people's religion is incorrect. Many Muslim countries allowed freedom of religion to such an extent that people fled to Muslim countries - most notably the Jews being granted protection in al-Andalus (southern Spain) and the Ottoman Empire (North Africa, Istanbul and the Greek city of Thessaloniki). The Christians and Jews begged the Muslims not to withdraw from Jerusalem and leave the city to the Byzantines (even though the Byzantines were Christians).

Even till today the head (pope) of the Eastern Orthodox church is in Istanbul. The Christians had full autonomy to practice their religion in the Balkans. To this day Muslim empires which ruled the Balkans and India for over 500 years, the majority of the people are not Muslims.

I am not saying Muslims did not restrict in other regions, but the things is it is not something specific to Muslims. Muslim and non-Muslim countries have equally done discrimination against people of other faiths. Muslims also have a great history of tolerance and granting protection to minorities of other faiths as I have shown above.
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Old 11-19-2011, 09:12 AM   #19
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I'm not attempting to force my culture on anyone. I just want to understand why they do those things.
Muslims should not touch anyone of the opposite gender unless they are close relatives or their wife. That is just what we believe God ordered us to do.
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Old 11-19-2011, 09:15 AM   #20
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Muslims should not touch anyone of the opposite gender unless they are close relatives or their wife. That is just what we believe God ordered us to do.
But touch is a basic human need, it's part of how we socialise. Why would God implant that need in us, then tell us it is wrong to act on it?
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