Urgent: Advise required to Protect Sisters - DiscussWorldIssues - Socio-Economic Religion and Political Uncensored Debate

**avaicavum** · 10-11-2011, 04:27 PM

SalaamuAlaikum,

I do not know where to start or where to go for help.

My sister was found in a hospital last week as she tried to commit suicide and some of the blame goes on my family and myself.

We helped find her a Muslim man to marry, one who we all respected and thought would keep her imaan strong and further flourish.
In the last 7 months she went through extreme mental and physical abuse and told none of us as she felt she would be letting us down.

Instead of talking to us, she confided in a Shaykh who was recommended to her by a sister.
One that was referenced as some one in the community that respected womens rights and had helped many sisters before.
The sister labelled him as a father figure as he is in his late 50's and the sister was in her mid 20's.

My sister is a very genuine person and especially would have up most respect for scholars as this is one of her main avenues that brought her closer to Islam.

She contacted the scholar who sympathised with her and said he would help her get her Talaaq and if not peruse a Khula.
The Shaykh within 3weeks got her a Khula and then dropped a bomb shell saying he would like to marry her.
He swayed her thoughts by saying he would be her guide for jannah, that he would be able to protect her and strengthen her imaan, give her kids and save her reputation by making family understand. She refused however she was claimed to be thinking like a Kuffar and her decissions for marriage were all materialistic and that she would have no hope unless she married him.

She refused on 3 other occasions and in the end the Shaykh said he would drop it but would let the community and family know the reason why he came to her in the first place was she was having an affair with someone else and wanted a talaaq so she could marry this new man.

This is how the Shaykh manipulated her and upon her 1month iddah, got married to her.
For 1 month they were married and he made her carry out acts which she refused and even haraam acts which just makes my blood boil when I write this.

My sister in the end thought living a life like this was too much and because of depression and further abuse, she decided she was committing more sin in something she did not want, so maybe suicide was the best option and that's how we found her in the hospital.

I only know the detail and she made me promise her not to tell my family as she is really scared on the outcome.

When situations are like this, who is here to help?
How can we stop/prevent people like this man, from ever hurting other sisters?

I would love to take matters in my own hand but that's going on instinct and letting my emotions get carried away.

PLEASE BROTHERS & SISTERS PLEASE HELP US AND ADVISE US WHAT TO DO??

I apologise if I have given more detailed then required and I make dua that ALLAH forgives me on my shortcomings. InshALLAH

**mazabotman** · 10-11-2011, 04:44 PM

Wa alaikum as salam

A3oudubillah, that's a really sad story. You need to expose that old buddha, by recording/ videotaping etc.

I hope your sister recovers from her ordeal, ...btw when your sister was marrying this old man where were you?

**Donlupedron** · 10-11-2011, 04:49 PM

I'm sorry that I don't have an answer to your problem but still reply to your thread.

Is it possible to know which region are you staying (general area, like Europe, South Asia, South East Asia or other parts of the world)? Then perhaps any brother or sister here can do more to help out.

Secondly, to have a 'shaykh' that manipulates or shuts down other people using the Quranic verses (with wrong interpretations or contexts) is very problematic and a big issue. I'll just refrain from saying anything further since I don't know the details, and also to read inputs from brothers and sisters here.

**Qxsumehj** · 10-11-2011, 04:51 PM

Asalaamu alaykum

this is so sad, the only thing you can do now is be there for her and try to take her mind off things by getting her into other topics, and try not to talk to her too much about what has happened right now, maybe take her away from her surroundings for a while until she is in a better state

i also think the "shaykh" needs to be exposed as he is probably also manipulating other young sisters

any shaykh that asks to meet with a sister alone or speaks to a sister about marriage without her wali is a fraud!

**avaicavum** · 10-11-2011, 04:54 PM

Wa alaikum as salam

A3oudubillah, that's a really sad story. You need to expose that old buddha, by recording/ videotaping etc.

I hope your sister recovers from her ordeal, ...btw when your sister was marrying this old man where were you?

He made her keep it a secret until she told me and she was too ashamed to say anything.
Hes words were - let things settle and we will go together and tell your parents.

It seems my sisters identity has completely changed as she never kept secrets, was always happy, trustworthy and always full of life....

**avaicavum** · 10-11-2011, 04:55 PM

I'm sorry that I don't have an answer to your problem but still reply to your thread.

Is it possible to know which region are you staying (general area, like Europe, South Asian, South East Asia or other parts of the world)? Then perhaps any brother or sister here can do more to help out.

Secondly, to have a 'shaykh' that manipulates or shuts down other people using the Quranic verses (with wrong interpretations or contexts) is very problematic and a big issue. I'll just refrain from saying anything further since I don't know the details, and also to read inputs from brothers and sisters here.

We are from England

**Donlupedron** · 10-11-2011, 05:09 PM

This is just a hypothetical question. Do you think that the 'shaikh' actually did something against the law and can be reported?

Brother Dawud involves with some charity program there. Not sure though if he can help or not. Perhaps try to get mods to allow for personal contact details between you and brother Dawud?

Also may be some other brothers/sisters from England can help with the situation here?

Have you actually tried contacting a few da'wa/Islamic charity organizations in the UK? Perhaps they can guide you to the right channel to solve the issue (both legally and from Islam point of view).

**avaicavum** · 10-11-2011, 05:20 PM

This is just a hypothetical question. Do you think that the 'shaikh' actually did something against the law and can be reported?

Brother Dawud involves with some charity program there. Not sure though if he can help or not. Perhaps try to get mods to allow for personal contact details between you and brother Dawud?

Also may be some other brothers/sisters from England can help with the situation here?

Have you actually tried contacting a few da'wa/Islamic charity organizations in the UK? Perhaps they can guide you to the right channel to solve the issue (both legally and from Islam point of view).

She has some text messages that can prove his 'charachter'.
I have contacted anyone as of yet as I have no idea who to. I do not know any organisations that would help with a matter like this and generally speaking from what ive heard, when its to do with scholary issues most people take a step back as it isn't the easiest to deal with...

**Qxsumehj** · 10-11-2011, 05:23 PM

the best thing to do is to contact some well known ulemah who are trustworthy as if they speak out against him people will know they are saying the truth

do you know which group this "shaykh" belongs to?

**avaicavum** · 10-11-2011, 05:28 PM

the best thing to do is to contact some well known ulemah who are trustworthy as if they speak out against him people will know they are saying the truth

do you know which group this "shaykh" belongs to?

I do, unfortunately some of the groups and platforms he has shared are well known in London so therefore its best I only disclose them to those who may be able to help take this matter further as I dont want to put the groups in any bad light as an overall due to one mans actions.

**Qxsumehj** · 10-11-2011, 05:31 PM

I do, unfortunately some of the groups and platforms he has shared are well known in London so therefore its best I only disclose them to those who may be able to help take this matter further as I dont want to put the groups in any bad light as an overall due to one mans actions.

what i was going to say is contact trustworthy ulemah from the same group as this "shaykh" as the community is more likely to listen if they are from the same group. If they are from other groups people may say its just propaganda to defame a certain group. I don't blame any group because none of them as far as i know would promote this kind of behaviour

**AngegepeM** · 10-11-2011, 06:15 PM

SubhanAllah. May Allah make things easy for you all. Aameen.

what i was going to say is contact trustworthy ulemah from the same group as this "shaykh" as the community is more likely to listen if they are from the same group. If they are from other groups people may say its just propaganda to defame a certain group. I don't blame any group because none of them as far as i know would promote this kind of behaviour

Then again you still have to be careful because if they are from the same group they will know each other and be inclined to have husn al dhaan and ask for his side of the story (after all, it's just some random people saying stuff as far as they'd be concerned) and he will of course try to spin things around.

You'd need proof of some sort.

May Allah destroy any evil plot of this man and either expose and punish him in this life and the next or guide him into full and total repentance along with giving him the desire to make amends. Aameen.

I will say this: On the whole, men simply cannot be trusted with the care of non-mahram women. No matter how old, pious, knowledgeable or noble they appear or might be. It's asking for trouble and sisters should be aware and not be naive about it.

**Shark&Nike** · 10-11-2011, 06:29 PM

get as much evidence as you can against the 'shaikh'. once you have enough evidence that cannot be refuted then expose this 'shaikh'. people are not safe from him so he MUST be exposed so others do not fall into his trap. inshallah if you get sufficient evidence to expose him then you will be safe as he will not have any supporters left.

if he is a well known 'shaikh' with students and mureeds then there is no point going to other ulama for help as i doubt you will get any. and also if you reveal to others that you are opposed to this 'shaikh' then chances are you will put yourself in danger. so it is best not rely on anyone elses help. you will not get any. i have been in opposition to some shaikhs and their mureeds (on a lower scale) and found that even my life long friends turned their backs on me. some others that i know of had had it much worse than me when going into opposition with a shaikh.

contact me if you want. i may be able to help off the forum if your story checks out.

**avaicavum** · 10-11-2011, 06:48 PM

get as much evidence as you can against the 'shaikh'. once you have enough evidence that cannot be refuted then expose this 'shaikh'. people are not safe from him so he MUST be exposed so others do not fall into his trap. inshallah if you get sufficient evidence to expose him then you will be safe as he will not have any supporters left.

if he is a well known 'shaikh' with students and mureeds then there is no point going to other ulama for help as i doubt you will get any. and also if you reveal to others that you are opposed to this 'shaikh' then chances are you will put yourself in danger. so it is best not rely on anyone elses help. you will not get any. i have been in opposition to some shaikhs and their mureeds (on a lower scale) and found that even my life long friends turned their backs on me. some others that i know of had had it much worse than me when going into opposition with a shaikh.

contact me if you want. i may be able to help off the forum if your story checks out.

JazakALLAh for your response.
I am unable to message you due to peromission settings.
Can you message me your contact email or an alternative online form of contact please?

**soajerwaradaY** · 10-11-2011, 06:50 PM

May Allah help you in this difficult time.
My prayers are with you.

**fissasste** · 10-11-2011, 06:52 PM

JazakALLAh for your response.
I am unable to message you due to peromission settings.
Can you message me your contact email or an alternative online form of contact please?

login and post your request in the sensitive section: http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/foru...7-Sensitive-QA

**Shark&Nike** · 10-11-2011, 06:58 PM

JazakALLAh for your response.
I am unable to message you due to peromission settings.
Can you message me your contact email or an alternative online form of contact please?

contact me through this site. use my user name as reference.

www.cre8tive-pixels.com

just send your email address and i will contact you.

**bestbyV** · 10-11-2011, 08:47 PM

Haa...such innocent little simple muslims we are!!!

**AM1VV9r6** · 10-11-2011, 08:48 PM

Please keep on topic.

**Pcodaygs** · 10-11-2011, 08:54 PM

I doubt, do deobandi ulema have ticket of honestly from Allah ?

hhmmm. i don't see where the guy said "deobandi" ulama.

@sis peace4humanity

this story made my blood boil as well. i hope everything comes right 4 your sister insha-Allah. like the other members, i too feel this "shaikh" must be exposed so that he does'nt wreck the life of sum1 else. can't you convince your sis to tell your parents or at least your mum about the situation... maybe it'll help to get moral support and advice from a few different family members. is she taking counselling or any kind of mind therapy presently?

10-11-2011, 04:27 PM	#1
avaicavum Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 468 Senior Member	Urgent: Advise required to Protect Sisters SalaamuAlaikum, I do not know where to start or where to go for help. My sister was found in a hospital last week as she tried to commit suicide and some of the blame goes on my family and myself. We helped find her a Muslim man to marry, one who we all respected and thought would keep her imaan strong and further flourish. In the last 7 months she went through extreme mental and physical abuse and told none of us as she felt she would be letting us down. Instead of talking to us, she confided in a Shaykh who was recommended to her by a sister. One that was referenced as some one in the community that respected womens rights and had helped many sisters before. The sister labelled him as a father figure as he is in his late 50's and the sister was in her mid 20's. My sister is a very genuine person and especially would have up most respect for scholars as this is one of her main avenues that brought her closer to Islam. She contacted the scholar who sympathised with her and said he would help her get her Talaaq and if not peruse a Khula. The Shaykh within 3weeks got her a Khula and then dropped a bomb shell saying he would like to marry her. He swayed her thoughts by saying he would be her guide for jannah, that he would be able to protect her and strengthen her imaan, give her kids and save her reputation by making family understand. She refused however she was claimed to be thinking like a Kuffar and her decissions for marriage were all materialistic and that she would have no hope unless she married him. She refused on 3 other occasions and in the end the Shaykh said he would drop it but would let the community and family know the reason why he came to her in the first place was she was having an affair with someone else and wanted a talaaq so she could marry this new man. This is how the Shaykh manipulated her and upon her 1month iddah, got married to her. For 1 month they were married and he made her carry out acts which she refused and even haraam acts which just makes my blood boil when I write this. My sister in the end thought living a life like this was too much and because of depression and further abuse, she decided she was committing more sin in something she did not want, so maybe suicide was the best option and that's how we found her in the hospital. I only know the detail and she made me promise her not to tell my family as she is really scared on the outcome. When situations are like this, who is here to help? How can we stop/prevent people like this man, from ever hurting other sisters? I would love to take matters in my own hand but that's going on instinct and letting my emotions get carried away. PLEASE BROTHERS & SISTERS PLEASE HELP US AND ADVISE US WHAT TO DO?? I apologise if I have given more detailed then required and I make dua that ALLAH forgives me on my shortcomings. InshALLAH Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

10-11-2011, 04:44 PM	#2
mazabotman Join Date Nov 2005 Posts 487 Senior Member	Wa alaikum as salam A3oudubillah, that's a really sad story. You need to expose that old buddha, by recording/ videotaping etc. I hope your sister recovers from her ordeal, ...btw when your sister was marrying this old man where were you? Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

10-11-2011, 04:49 PM	#3
Donlupedron Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 534 Senior Member	I'm sorry that I don't have an answer to your problem but still reply to your thread. Is it possible to know which region are you staying (general area, like Europe, South Asia, South East Asia or other parts of the world)? Then perhaps any brother or sister here can do more to help out. Secondly, to have a 'shaykh' that manipulates or shuts down other people using the Quranic verses (with wrong interpretations or contexts) is very problematic and a big issue. I'll just refrain from saying anything further since I don't know the details, and also to read inputs from brothers and sisters here. Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

10-11-2011, 04:51 PM	#4
Qxsumehj Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 427 Senior Member	Asalaamu alaykum this is so sad, the only thing you can do now is be there for her and try to take her mind off things by getting her into other topics, and try not to talk to her too much about what has happened right now, maybe take her away from her surroundings for a while until she is in a better state i also think the "shaykh" needs to be exposed as he is probably also manipulating other young sisters any shaykh that asks to meet with a sister alone or speaks to a sister about marriage without her wali is a fraud! Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

10-11-2011, 04:54 PM	#5
avaicavum Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 468 Senior Member	Wa alaikum as salam A3oudubillah, that's a really sad story. You need to expose that old buddha, by recording/ videotaping etc. I hope your sister recovers from her ordeal, ...btw when your sister was marrying this old man where were you? He made her keep it a secret until she told me and she was too ashamed to say anything. Hes words were - let things settle and we will go together and tell your parents. It seems my sisters identity has completely changed as she never kept secrets, was always happy, trustworthy and always full of life.... Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

10-11-2011, 04:55 PM	#6
avaicavum Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 468 Senior Member	I'm sorry that I don't have an answer to your problem but still reply to your thread. Is it possible to know which region are you staying (general area, like Europe, South Asian, South East Asia or other parts of the world)? Then perhaps any brother or sister here can do more to help out. Secondly, to have a 'shaykh' that manipulates or shuts down other people using the Quranic verses (with wrong interpretations or contexts) is very problematic and a big issue. I'll just refrain from saying anything further since I don't know the details, and also to read inputs from brothers and sisters here. We are from England Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

10-11-2011, 05:09 PM	#7
Donlupedron Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 534 Senior Member	This is just a hypothetical question. Do you think that the 'shaikh' actually did something against the law and can be reported? Brother Dawud involves with some charity program there. Not sure though if he can help or not. Perhaps try to get mods to allow for personal contact details between you and brother Dawud? Also may be some other brothers/sisters from England can help with the situation here? Have you actually tried contacting a few da'wa/Islamic charity organizations in the UK? Perhaps they can guide you to the right channel to solve the issue (both legally and from Islam point of view). Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

10-11-2011, 05:20 PM	#8
avaicavum Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 468 Senior Member	This is just a hypothetical question. Do you think that the 'shaikh' actually did something against the law and can be reported? Brother Dawud involves with some charity program there. Not sure though if he can help or not. Perhaps try to get mods to allow for personal contact details between you and brother Dawud? Also may be some other brothers/sisters from England can help with the situation here? Have you actually tried contacting a few da'wa/Islamic charity organizations in the UK? Perhaps they can guide you to the right channel to solve the issue (both legally and from Islam point of view). She has some text messages that can prove his 'charachter'. I have contacted anyone as of yet as I have no idea who to. I do not know any organisations that would help with a matter like this and generally speaking from what ive heard, when its to do with scholary issues most people take a step back as it isn't the easiest to deal with... Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

10-11-2011, 05:23 PM	#9
Qxsumehj Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 427 Senior Member	the best thing to do is to contact some well known ulemah who are trustworthy as if they speak out against him people will know they are saying the truth do you know which group this "shaykh" belongs to? Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

10-11-2011, 05:28 PM	#10
avaicavum Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 468 Senior Member	the best thing to do is to contact some well known ulemah who are trustworthy as if they speak out against him people will know they are saying the truth do you know which group this "shaykh" belongs to? I do, unfortunately some of the groups and platforms he has shared are well known in London so therefore its best I only disclose them to those who may be able to help take this matter further as I dont want to put the groups in any bad light as an overall due to one mans actions. Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

10-11-2011, 05:31 PM	#11
Qxsumehj Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 427 Senior Member	I do, unfortunately some of the groups and platforms he has shared are well known in London so therefore its best I only disclose them to those who may be able to help take this matter further as I dont want to put the groups in any bad light as an overall due to one mans actions. what i was going to say is contact trustworthy ulemah from the same group as this "shaykh" as the community is more likely to listen if they are from the same group. If they are from other groups people may say its just propaganda to defame a certain group. I don't blame any group because none of them as far as i know would promote this kind of behaviour Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

10-11-2011, 06:15 PM	#12
AngegepeM Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 449 Senior Member	SubhanAllah. May Allah make things easy for you all. Aameen. what i was going to say is contact trustworthy ulemah from the same group as this "shaykh" as the community is more likely to listen if they are from the same group. If they are from other groups people may say its just propaganda to defame a certain group. I don't blame any group because none of them as far as i know would promote this kind of behaviour Then again you still have to be careful because if they are from the same group they will know each other and be inclined to have husn al dhaan and ask for his side of the story (after all, it's just some random people saying stuff as far as they'd be concerned) and he will of course try to spin things around. You'd need proof of some sort. May Allah destroy any evil plot of this man and either expose and punish him in this life and the next or guide him into full and total repentance along with giving him the desire to make amends. Aameen. I will say this: On the whole, men simply cannot be trusted with the care of non-mahram women. No matter how old, pious, knowledgeable or noble they appear or might be. It's asking for trouble and sisters should be aware and not be naive about it. Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

10-11-2011, 06:29 PM	#13
Shark&Nike Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 463 Senior Member	get as much evidence as you can against the 'shaikh'. once you have enough evidence that cannot be refuted then expose this 'shaikh'. people are not safe from him so he MUST be exposed so others do not fall into his trap. inshallah if you get sufficient evidence to expose him then you will be safe as he will not have any supporters left. if he is a well known 'shaikh' with students and mureeds then there is no point going to other ulama for help as i doubt you will get any. and also if you reveal to others that you are opposed to this 'shaikh' then chances are you will put yourself in danger. so it is best not rely on anyone elses help. you will not get any. i have been in opposition to some shaikhs and their mureeds (on a lower scale) and found that even my life long friends turned their backs on me. some others that i know of had had it much worse than me when going into opposition with a shaikh. contact me if you want. i may be able to help off the forum if your story checks out. Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

10-11-2011, 06:48 PM	#14
avaicavum Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 468 Senior Member	get as much evidence as you can against the 'shaikh'. once you have enough evidence that cannot be refuted then expose this 'shaikh'. people are not safe from him so he MUST be exposed so others do not fall into his trap. inshallah if you get sufficient evidence to expose him then you will be safe as he will not have any supporters left. if he is a well known 'shaikh' with students and mureeds then there is no point going to other ulama for help as i doubt you will get any. and also if you reveal to others that you are opposed to this 'shaikh' then chances are you will put yourself in danger. so it is best not rely on anyone elses help. you will not get any. i have been in opposition to some shaikhs and their mureeds (on a lower scale) and found that even my life long friends turned their backs on me. some others that i know of had had it much worse than me when going into opposition with a shaikh. contact me if you want. i may be able to help off the forum if your story checks out. JazakALLAh for your response. I am unable to message you due to peromission settings. Can you message me your contact email or an alternative online form of contact please? Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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10-11-2011, 06:50 PM	#15
soajerwaradaY Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 447 Senior Member	May Allah help you in this difficult time. My prayers are with you. Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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10-11-2011, 06:52 PM	#16
fissasste Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 494 Senior Member	JazakALLAh for your response. I am unable to message you due to peromission settings. Can you message me your contact email or an alternative online form of contact please? login and post your request in the sensitive section: http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/foru...7-Sensitive-QA Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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10-11-2011, 06:58 PM	#17
Shark&Nike Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 463 Senior Member	JazakALLAh for your response. I am unable to message you due to peromission settings. Can you message me your contact email or an alternative online form of contact please? contact me through this site. use my user name as reference. www.cre8tive-pixels.com just send your email address and i will contact you. Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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10-11-2011, 08:47 PM	#18
bestbyV Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 406 Senior Member	Haa...such innocent little simple muslims we are!!! Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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10-11-2011, 08:48 PM	#19
AM1VV9r6 Join Date Nov 2005 Posts 445 Senior Member	Please keep on topic. Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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10-11-2011, 08:54 PM	#20
Pcodaygs Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 414 Senior Member	I doubt, do deobandi ulema have ticket of honestly from Allah ? hhmmm. i don't see where the guy said "deobandi" ulama. @sis peace4humanity this story made my blood boil as well. i hope everything comes right 4 your sister insha-Allah. like the other members, i too feel this "shaikh" must be exposed so that he does'nt wreck the life of sum1 else. can't you convince your sis to tell your parents or at least your mum about the situation... maybe it'll help to get moral support and advice from a few different family members. is she taking counselling or any kind of mind therapy presently? Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote