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Old 01-28-2008, 05:13 PM   #1
JennaJJxoxoxo

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Default funny moments in lectures
salam

woud you say there is such a thing

and is so, post the information below.
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Old 01-28-2008, 05:30 PM   #2
movlabc

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Yes, sometimes there is ... but we should try to take these funny moments with dignity, eg once a Brother in all enthusiasm said Shaitan rehmatullah alayeh.. and then realized what he said but only after a monute of so...

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Old 01-28-2008, 06:16 PM   #3
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Asslamo Allaikum,

1) A young Nervous Maulana said in his Jummuah Bayan, "And Fir'aun consulted his Astronauts (Read Astrologers) who told him that a boy will be born in Bani-Israel who will destory your kingdom).

2) One of the well-known Deobandi Maulanas come to Birmingham and a brother placed his tape-recorders next to Hazrat and pressed PLAY instead of RECORD; out came "Chaiyya-Chaiyya"

by this time:

a) he was half-way through the Masjid going back; so he had to turn around try to stop it and instead of muting, he made the volume even louder!

b) Hazrat (RA) had already started "Nah-Madudo-Wanu-Salli-Ala..."

Imagine listening to "Chaiyya-Chaiyya" with a Maulana and the Maulana simply sits on teh Mimbar while everyone is shocked and paralysed and unable to move

This brother is one of the most pious people I know and his crime was that he had borrowed a cassette from someone to tape over!
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Old 01-28-2008, 06:28 PM   #4
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You wont believe what happened in our Jumma Khutba Last Week

So there we were mid way through the English part and BANG we hear a gun shot like sound, suddenly a brother falls back and starts to shake, next to him is another brother.

Our Imaam recounts the episode

There i was delivering my lecture. I see this brother who comes in and Allahs knows best but smack in the centre of the musjid and in my view he begins to perform his sunnat salaah. I watch him thinking to myself Mashallah he is concentrating hard. I see the other brother approaching thinking that he too is looking for space in the crowded musjid as he approaches the brother making salaah i watch him and then he gave one HUGE SMACK and knocked the guy out.......


next thing we hear is the imam calling out loud for a doctor and the reset including reason why this happen is currently grinding on the rumour mill....
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Old 01-28-2008, 06:42 PM   #5
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is that brother all right?
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Old 01-28-2008, 06:44 PM   #6
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Yeah his fine now, one things is for sure 'He will never make salaah closed eyes again'
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Old 01-28-2008, 06:52 PM   #7
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That's good news . I used to play/watch hockey back in my youth and I remember an incident when Todd Bertuzzi of the Vancouver Canucks did something similar to your story by catching another player off guard and punching him in the back of the head, only he ended up breaking the other players' neck. That flashed in my mind when reading your story so it's very relieving to hear that the brother is in good condition.
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Old 01-28-2008, 07:06 PM   #8
JennaJJxoxoxo

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Asslamo Allaikum,

1) A young Nervous Maulana said in his Jummuah Bayan, "And Fir'aun consulted his Astronauts (Read Astrologers) who told him that a boy will be born in Bani-Israel who will destory your kingdom).

2) One of the well-known Deobandi Maulanas come to Birmingham and a brother placed his tape-recorders next to Hazrat and pressed PLAY instead of RECORD; out came "Chaiyya-Chaiyya"

by this time:

a) he was half-way through the Masjid going back; so he had to turn around try to stop it and instead of muting, he made the volume even louder!

b) Hazrat (RA) had already started "Nah-Madudo-Wanu-Salli-Ala..."

Imagine listening to "Chaiyya-Chaiyya" with a Maulana and the Maulana simply sits on teh Mimbar while everyone is shocked and paralysed and unable to move

This brother is one of the most pious people I know and his crime was that he had borrowed a cassette from someone to tape over!
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Old 01-29-2008, 12:11 AM   #9
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Once moulana near my masjid was giving jumah speech before khutba.

A old man was sitting infront of moulana and he was moving so much, might be his legs were paining.

Then moulana stopped and said: "plz u should sit at some corner in chair, u r old now...because of ur moving i am getting disturbed"

Then moulana wanted to start speech but he forgot what he was talking about.
then he asked people, what i was talking about ??
people also kept blank face, i think many were in some other world
then moulana said "inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi rajiu'n"
and started some other topic, after few seconds he remembered and continued the speech
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Old 01-29-2008, 01:01 AM   #10
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I went to a lecture, and dont know if there were funny moments, because i was half asleep!
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Old 01-29-2008, 01:42 AM   #11
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hmm then how do you know ppl werent smirking at you :P

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Old 01-29-2008, 01:57 AM   #12
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hmm then how do you know ppl werent smirking at you :P

lolz he might be in tabligh's ijtema
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Old 01-29-2008, 07:02 AM   #13
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Maybe people were giving me odd looks. Heres another one

I went to a mosque in East London, and the imam was giving a lecture in urdu. most people couldnt understand. Later on the second imam said: "If anybody needs to do wudu or needs the toilet, please go now" trust me nearly half of the people in the hall got up to do wudu! They were all sleeping!
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Old 01-29-2008, 10:19 AM   #14
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I was at this small talk once where the Muslim-friendly politician Paul Findley was promoting his book "Silent no more" and a desi uncle on stage was talking about how great of a book it was and how we all need to get this book "No More Silence!"... (its supposed to be silent no more), and a lot of us in the audience start laughing and scream out "SILENT NO MORE!".. and he repeats again, "Yes, "No more Silence!". and we all yell out again, "SILENT NO MORE!". so we all just cracking up. it was funny if you were there. oh, and imagine a typical desi uncle accent, thats probably why it was so funny.
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Old 10-09-2008, 08:09 PM   #15
JennaJJxoxoxo

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had to revive this thread
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Old 10-10-2008, 03:47 AM   #16
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Yeah his fine now, one things is for sure 'He will never make salaah closed eyes again'
Im confused, Why did he hit the poor guy?????
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Old 10-10-2008, 03:58 AM   #17
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Maybe people were giving me odd looks. Heres another one

I went to a mosque in East London, and the imam was giving a lecture in urdu. most people couldnt understand. Later on the second imam said: "If anybody needs to do wudu or needs the toilet, please go now" trust me nearly half of the people in the hall got up to do wudu! They were all sleeping!
That reminds me of an incident with me, Probably its not funny, but oh well.........I went to this ta'aleem, right after madrassah, I was extrememly tired, since I had woken p at 4, and slept at 1/12, so instead of muzakarah, some shaik did a bayan, I was soooo sleepy, I would listen for a minute, then fall asleep, then force myself to listen, then I'd fall asleep, until it finished, and I think i didnt even listen to a quarter of it, so after the bayan, A few ladies started revising what they heard, then one of them calls me over and shes like, Oh Alima Sahiba What did you hear in the bayan??? I was like , ummmmmm......ummmm.....then I said you know he was telling this hadith (alhamdulillah my teachers made us memorize it!!!! ), then I just translated it from arabic to urdu, and shes like wow, wow, veryy good point!
Allah saved me on that one, I think thats the ONLY thing I remembered from an hour bayan!!! Alhamdulillah!!
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Old 10-10-2008, 04:27 PM   #18
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I know of a nice brother who used to give bayaans at many places. So one time while addressing only brothers, he accidentally said "Dear Brothers and Sisters"... lol

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Old 10-10-2008, 06:26 PM   #19
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I know of a nice brother who used to give bayaans at many places. So one time while addressing only brothers, he accidentally said "Dear Brothers and Sisters"... lol

lol
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Old 10-11-2008, 08:46 AM   #20
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I don't know whether these are funny moments, but they are certainly remarkable. I have listened to these lectures all on audio and wasn't there live. Off the top of my head:

- Once Mawlana Tariq Jamil was lecturing in a Masjid while suddenly a man shouted 'nara takbir,' which shook up the Mawlana. He quickly said, "Who was that?" (oi, ye kon tha?), and he said very relaxed: "It is not his fault, if the Khawas do it, then what is the fault of the awwam."
- In a lecture of Mawlana Masood Azhar he was describing the reality of the brothers and sisters who were being oppressed, whereupon a person in the gathering lost his peace, started to shake and make sound. People began to stood up and he calmly said something like: "What is wrong, sit at your places, he is just having a haal."
- In another lecture of Mawlana Masood, suddenly in the middle of the lecture after a loud slogan, gunshots were fired and Mawlana Masood just said: "Let nobody fire gunshots in the gathering." One of his bodyguards probably whispered: "There is no firing in the crowd." And thereafter he asked the people to pay attention to the lecture.
- In another lecture he talked about those sitting in the crowd, with their paper and pen in their pockets, waiting to note down the things said in the gathering. He mocked them by saying "These people really love the friends of Allah, and that is why they visit their gatherings. They won't go to Asma Jahangir or other sinful people. Just look at their love."
- In a lecture of Mufti Zarwali a person yawned and opened his mouth fully, and Mufti Sahib reacted immediately and said something like: "Watch out, I fear you might eat me up with that big mouth. Don't you know that you should cover your mouth when you yawn?" Mufti Zarwali won't hesitate to correct someone and this will happen if someone sleeps lightly during a lecture, or a person who was late tries to come at the front rows etc.
- In a gathering in Hong Kong Mawlana Abdul Hay Abid was invited. He discussed the personality of the Messenger -sallallahu alayhi wasallam- and his great attributes. Then he talked about the beard and said to the crowd: 'Now why don't you people have a beard? Now stand up and promise that you will grow a beard from now on. This is the first time I visited this place.' 10 people stood up in that gathering and promised to grow their beards.
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