[BonjGopu]

If you find her wearing a Taveez (amulet) offending, discuss with her, ask her if it has something which is forbidden, it is not necessary that all taveez(amulets) are wrong and sinful, she might have brought it from some pious person with some good intention. Don't find excuses, I have seen a person with similar conditions, a very religious guy, but donno why he lost interest in his wife, and started to maintain distance and that resulted in worst of consequences.
Be a man, thank Allah for what He gave you, as for Aa'fia, and barkah in life, be happy, make her happy.

[MpbY5dkR]

Eat food that gets you the "feeling" your missing. Have a gentle sense of humour, like the Prophet(pbuh). Be the dominant power like the natural role of men. Divide your time and devote a part of it for your wife, as the Prophet(pbuh) taught.

[yasalaioqe]

Send your wife to her mother's place.

brethren the situation demands interaction as (i think the whole issue is feeling of strangeness) with one another rather being a part..

[SarSerceSaice]

Once she moves out, then the feelings will erupt.

strangeness will be erupted with interaction,if done so what u said,once she returns they will be again on first step of getting closer.

[Deribasov]

strangeness will be erupted with interaction,if done so what u said,once she returns they will be again on first step of getting closer.

Khair, i'm not qualified to give counselling. Sorry

[vosteglog]

Khair, i'm not qualified to give counselling. Sorry

brother,counseling is amanat,everyone can counsel irrespective of being qualified or not unless any sharii counseling is demanded..where do you live bro,v can connect [edit]

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[natahololll]

brother,counseling is amanat,everyone can counsel irrespective of being qualified or not unless any sharii counseling is demanded..where do you live bro,v can connect [edit]

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[QEoMi752]

I never understood why people (especially younger couples) rush to have children as soon as they're married. It's not the Olympics. Especially in arranged marriage setups where your contact with them is so minimal that you got to your wedding day having built no comfort into the relationship.

For what it's worth I think you're right not to have children right away but rather work on trying to have a relationship with her first. You can always use protection as a way to fulfil her rights and minimizing risk of pregnancy. My cousins all advised me that 'if you don't find your wife attractive, it's all downhill/more difficult'. That is something to address. Buy her some new shoes, clothes etc.


Some suggestions on things you could do (maybe you are doing them already):

Call her everyday (if you're at work) for 5 minutes and ask how her day is going. Look for things in what she says to tease her about, make her laugh.
Buy a board game and play - just the two of you. Something with a dice. Dim the light if possible.
Other thing you could do is book a table at the restaurant and have her meet you halfway (at the station or somewhere near) as you would with a friend. Gives her something to look forward too.

[Henldyhl]

ASWW
The brother has a problem deeper than what he is saying here.

[pouslytut]

Assalam o alaikum wa rehmatullah wa barakatohu brother,,

may Allah taala put much much much barakah,khair,mawaddah & rehma in your married life.ameen

if it is possible,i would suggest please consult a Shaykh,some naik buzurgh(elderly pious) person..maybe there more than meets the eye…sometimes we cant put our finger on what it is & what needs to be done..All is from Allah taala..

mashAllah you have started tahajjud..alhamdulilah..your situation drove you to it..so there is always khair in everything. may Allah taala accept it & grant you qubooliyat.



in need of duas..
wasslamualaikum

As per my personal experience which worked, please try to get up 20-30 minutes before fajr and pray tahajjud together with your wife. Inshallah, Allahtaala will put the love in each others heart.

[huntbytnkbel]

Apart of brothers' and sisters' suggestions, I recommond you to make a trip with your wife to any intresting city or place. you will get closer and will understand eachother more. Besides, read some books of scholars in this regard.

[Galinastva]

i second that suggestion...plan a trip.. first go to umrah and also visit dubai...this might be the best opportunity for u both to get to know each other well..


Inshaa'Allah.. then everything will be ok...

[nizcreare]

I heard in a bayan that if one doesn't restrain his eyes from haram glance, he might be deprived of having any pleasure by halal means. That is why one might find other's wives as beautiful but not his own. This is the punishment for the haram act. If this is the case, then one can seek forgiveness and repent to Allah and inshaaAllah one will enjoy the marital life and there are may benefits in this other than this while the haram glance brings lanat of Allah SWT. Allahu alam

[attackDoold]

any updates ?

[DF9sLGSU]

Salaam

I am late on this but my advice would be to slow down. Dont force her to change to what you want her to be. On a highway where Ferrari and a truck are on the same lane, a truck is leading. The truck would define the driving speed and Ferrari has to comply or else there will be a crash.

Spend quality time with your wife, take her for a short holiday, take aher for a drive. Alhamdulilah we are practising Muslims and dont resort to Haraam entertainment but we must provide alternatives to our families and kids. Try filling this gap. Identify mutual areas of interest. I know someone who would take his wife for a drive and in the car they would play the Audio Cassettes of Maulana Tariq Jameel Sahab, she went out with you not with Maulana Sahab (BTW i respect Maulana Sahab immensely and look upto him. May Allah give him long life and increase him in Imaan). I mean you wife needs some quality time with you. So make sure the time you are spending with her you are giving her attention and listening to her. This is how the bond will grow.

Furthermore start spending 15-20 minutes daily with your wife discussing the life of Sahaba's. Once you discuss this then you will both agree on who our role models are in this dunya. This is the best way to syncronise your wavelengths. Fazail Amal has a chapter called Hikayat Sahaba and refer to book called Hayat us Sahaba. Apart from regular daily Salah, Zikr/ Adhkar/ Dua and Tilawat spend 15 minutes reading together from these two books about how Sahabas lived. You will see the change InshAllah !!