[Heliosprime]

edited

................

[geraint.faughn]

aj,

first of all, based on your posts, i have no doubt that you'll get through.

having gotten that out of the way, i also deal with depression from time to time. here is a link to a discussion we had awhile back:

http://www.divinecosmos.com/forums/s...ead.php?t=9410

some have quoted the law of one saying that people may be unable to process these energies, hence the rise in "mental illness" these past decades. so, whether its chemical, or "energetic", this might be the cause...

i've found it easier to deal with depression now-a-days. it doesn't have the stranglehold it used to have. all i need to do is go outside and listen to the birds, be with my dogs, simply be "in nature"...

if i may, take some time and think about those things that "set you off" - write them down. label them, for lack of a better word. then, next time you have a chance at "stopping" depression before it gets it grip.

hang in there - it saddens me to hear of your difficulties - sending positive energy your way.

art

[GarryPaterson]

hang in there, remember that we are being tested and the harder the test the greater the rewards.

if what david wilcock is saying is true and i know that i believe him then we have help all around us so ask for help!

peace, daz

[corolaelwis]

my heart feels like it is bleeding.

[RobertLS]

hi ameliejolie, it is good to hear from you. i am sorry you are having a hard time.

i totally know what you mean by being "dead" and a "lonely needy child". i have felt like that sometimes, like an angry sad child that never got enough attention. depression can be caused by many things and often times it is caused by repressed anger or a result of being disconnected from other people for a long period of time. i have had serious battles with some very manic depressions in which i did not want to get out of bed or take care of myself in any way.

let me tell you about a great experience i just had:

i signed up for and took a special group therapy course in which me, 10 other students, and about 10 instructors spent a very intense weekend hashing out the depression and blockages that are causing disarray in our lives. this course had a great combination of traditional therapy, spirituality, empathy and unconditional love. i was so scared to do this in the beginning because i did not want to show my emotions for fear of being vulnerable to other people's attacks. but it did not go that way. i stood up in front of everyone with tears streaming down my face and the instructors and the students helped me to see the perfection in what happened.

but an even more wonderful thing happened then that. for the first time in my life i felt a connection with other people. for the first time i totally let myself free. i have never, in all 30 years of my life, have experienced something like that. i feel like a 5,000 pound weight has been lifted off of my back.

the instructors were great and they said a lot of things, but one thing that stuck with me was, "it is not the emotions themselves that cause depression and stress, it is the withholding of emotions that cause stress, fatigue and sadness." in other words, let it out!! find a friend or someone and cry, shout, talk and do whatever you have to do.

it is the fear of bearing your heart that is keeping you in this marose sense of anger and sadness !!!!

the first time you do this you should find someone you really trust. that you know will love you unconditionaly. cry it out and talk it out and then allow that person to hug you and tell you you are courageous and awesome.

i think a lot of us here, in these forums, are very good at showing unconditional love to other people but we are not good at accepting it for ourselves. love is a two way street and both sides of the street need to be fully functioning. you must accept love from other people and love yourself too. if you don't do that then you are constantly giving love out and not restoring it in yourself and you are exhausting yourself. you need to "fill your own cup".

this was a huge lesson for me to learn. and the instructors in the course i took last weekend practically had to hold me down until i finally relaxed and allowed myself to be loved. i had so much anger and resentment that i was holding on too and i was afraid to let it go. in some ways i felt like that was all i had and if i let that go i would not have anything left. but that was not true. the void created was filled with an equal amount of love and positivity. which is just as powerful and strong as anger and sadness.

does that make sense?

[iceleliewBync]

querida ameliejolie,

i opened the divine cosmos forum page to see "the news", i read the new posts, then i left it to meditate as usual...
then a tought about my day, came to my head, strongly related to your asking....

i beat my dog today, and it was really needed.... because he was hurting another dog and didnt whant to let go......

usually, when i or someone i care about, do something that i dont like, i keep thinking about it for days, and today was pretty different! after the dogs fight end, i set down and thought : " it's ok, it happened a hundred years ago anyway...." and it worked! i just started thinking about other things, and it made it feel more funny then serious to me!

as i said... if i think about the seriousness of what you are feeling... i wouldnt write this post.... but it came so strongly in the meditation, that i decided to think that: " if ever you see it as a silly experience to post in trying to ease your moment, it happened a hundred years ago anyway......"

(oh i must say also that "beat" is a strong word! i'm sure it hurted my hand more then his but!)

[Brewpralgar]

one of my strangest experiences with depression. (and i have been battling it my whole life) was when i had been driving to a party and it suddenly dawned on me that thier was no guiding hand helping humanity and that we were just in a wave of peace before eventual war and possibly the end of society as we know it. for the next day until i got home i thought i was giong to die i couldnt even fake having fun at the party. when i got home i felt like i could not connect to anyone and i feared that they would understand what i was thinking just by looking at my face which in my mind must have shown the horror that was reeling through my mind. i was sitting downstairs with the horror of my new realization about life and all of a sudden it was like my brain reset itself and i had a huge relief/wave of euphoria set in. after this my thought processes seemed to change and i started thinking more in gestalts and how we are all sort of trapped in the prison of society and our chemical machine bodies. my fear of bodily death for myself and others fell away and it seems know my body works best and i feel refreshed. i am also keenely aware that i have a sort of power over how i feel by letting thoughts and energy find a balance of sorts. i was also made aware of the huge negative rush of energy that i had been putting my body through in college through, parties, porn and bad relationships. with this knowledge i try to make my state of mind and body independent of others energy inlux into my energy body and try to balance the body. this seems to work but i still get the overwhelming feeling that all is hopeless sometimes but i just remember infinity and let my body do its job of fueling experience. hope this helps.

[k1ePRlda]

perhaps your ego is dying and your inner child is birthing. meaning, your true self is coming forward and your ego is stepping aside. i different feeling of control or lack of, because it is new....with no patterns to follow, you are creating yourself as you go and meet each moment. you are perhaps changing to depend on your own validation vs external validation that feeds our ego.

i have had my moments this year as well. ups and downs, challenges to stay the course, putting my strength and will forward behind thoughts that want to surface that no longer are valid, but just automatic reactions. it has tested me as well.

does this make any sense?

i know, we tell ourself this all the time and we tell others: have faith and believe and trust yourself. it is true, when the test are great, the strength of our character and our will will be shown to us.

keep it all real and true....

[EnvellFen]

dear ameliejolie,

if i may, i would like to tell you what i do when i am depressed. i embrace it as best i can. i get into it and feel it to the bone, rather than resisting it ... which just increases and prolongs the depression. unconditional love doesn't make us wrong for feeling anything we feel. depression is part of allthatis. it has every right to exist. and what causes the pain is when you think you shouldn't be experiencing depression.

next time, instead of saying i am depressed, say: i have this thought that says i am depressed. that way you move away from it energetically, looking at it as a thought, which isn't necessarily who you are. often thoughts of depression are not even our own. we just tap into them when we are feeling lonely or down about something. once we put our toe in that stream of consciousness we can easily and swiftly get carried away. then believing it is true, that we are depressed.

when a thought comes to mind that depresses you, turn it around by saying: "that thought depresses me. it is not good for my well-being. it is not helpful or healthy. i have decided to move my thoughts in a new direction which lifts my spirits." do this enough and you will lift your spirits. depression can't exist when you move into a new way of thinking. it melts away.

here is what i call doing the dert (deep emotional release technique), which helps to clean up the psyche. in your mind, get a big piece of carving wood and carve the word depression in it with a hot iron. then light a torch to the wood and let it burn the whole carving. feel the burn, and let it burn as long as you want until it goes out on its own. then when you are left with the ashes, blow them away. people i work with love this one.

also, if you are lonely, here is a wonderful interview david did last month which addresses the topic of why so many people are feeling such deep loneliness: http://margaretwendt.com/others.php#copy -- click on where it says "review other programs" and then scroll down to where it says david wilcock -- edgar casey

[Hixinfineedom]

amélie

i totally feel yor pain, i've been there, and i'm in a minor crisis at the moment myself and i hope for both of us to find the experience foosnik is telling us about. i've been searching for a good therapy for years and never found it. this example is just what we need in times of trouble.

hang on, things will change. liliane

[Irravepem]

thank you, everyone, ever so much for sharing.
it means a lot.


i have been soothing my soul with your words, and with thoughts of films like the eighth day, and a song called "shine a light" by spiritualized.

sorry i haven't more to say right now, i just still feel so heartbroken right now. i hope this pain doesn't continue for too much longer.

[NeroASERCH]

foo,

thanks for sharing your experience - alot of wisdom contained in your post that anyone could benefit from. :d

drawing from my own experiences, one thing that can help is to "tackle" each problem individually. its very difficult to get over a depression episode when you're trying to fix everything - just try to focus on one thing at a time. this goes back to the concept of "labeling" mentioned in my earlier post.

aj,

i know you want so dearly to feel better. it may be possible that this current experience is serving as a lesson for some sort of growth, or a catalyst for deeper understanding of your true self. you've been pretty active on this forum so you've probably heard of "a dark night of the soul"? in my opinion, these experiences do serve as spiritual lessons, possibly guided by your higher self. and, as difficult they may be, they need "to be completed". in other words, efforts to postpone or prevent these, in my opinion, will only result in "harsher" lessons...

having gone through my fair share of these, all i can say is that you will emerge stronger and more connected with your true self. much easier said on the other side...

again, hang in there. i know its very difficult, but there is alot of wisdom contained in this experience of yours. you've got alot of friends here on the forum that care about you and wish you the best.

art

[Illirmpipse]

thank you art.

i think you are right about this experience being like a catalyst.
i am learning to take things more easily now, it may certainly be that this friend and i are meant to help each other grow in some way. we are both deep souls, experiencing different problems, though in some ways we are similar. as far as wanderers go, he does definitely seem like one of them.

i'm learning to let go of this idea that there might be "one" special person for everyone, like another half of our own soul....i'm learning to let go of this romantic idea, and yet i haven't given up on hope completely, that i might meet somebody someday who truly understands me, who i can blend with harmoniously, and grow with.

perhaps its just my libra moon or something (conjunct pluto)....but i just feel the need, so deeply to be with someone.
i'll just learn to live with it and to channel my energy into things which are healthier for me.

art, you mention the dark night of the soul.
well, the problem is, with me, it seems to have been going on for years.
it has been going on since my early teens.
i experience highs and lows a lot.

perhaps i'll be okay some day.
i just really need to find a sense of belonging somehow, or just ways to channel my energy into other things, more positively.

thanks for all your love and support, good people, friends.


lots of love.

~ emily

[duribass]

art, you mention the dark night of the soul.
well, the problem is, with me, it seems to have been going on for years.

i can definitely relate to that ameliejolie. i have not been doing so well either... i would not wish depression on anyone. i hope you will feel better soon.

[somawaima]

hi amelie

i just wrote about my libra moon one minute ago in light-eyes thread about astrology! mine is sextile pluto, conjunct neptune and the south node. talking about difficulties not being in a relationship! i'm living alone too, and most of my relationships have been complicated.

i finally have leraned how to enjoy solitude, but that doesn't mean i want to live alone for the rest of my life! i wonder if i'm going to meet someone before ascending into 4d are pple having sex there? i know it's not the most important thing, but since it was so long ago i had a good relationship, and with the horrors i've experienced since....

gosh! tomorrow is your name-day. congratulations!

[smazibummigue]

i just want to die. i've tried doing things about this, but it won't seem to go away.

i need to be held, i need to be loved (by the right person of course, lol....perhaps i'm too idealistic)....

i can't go on like this.

[Extinimot]

hi amelie

i finally have leraned how to enjoy solitude, but that doesn't mean i want to live alone for the rest of my life!

snip

i wonder if i'm going to meet someone before ascending into 4d are pple having sex there? i know it's not the most important thing, but since it was so long ago i had a good relationship, and with the horrors i've experienced since....

gosh! tomorrow is your name-day. congratulations!

hi, liliane

i wondered when you and emily would finally encounter each other ... i think fondly of the pair of you two as my dear, tho distant, sisters of sorrow.

yeah, there is some kind of sexual business continuing on high ...from what i understand, the duality of that functionality is foundational to at least some phases of the cosmo dynamics...but the higher the density the more ethereal and aesthetic the relationship. you can do a fruitful search on llresearch.org.

to be honest tho -- at my advanced age -- any thought of an actual physical relationship is more horrifying than erotic... if i were a woman i wouldn't want any part of bbb and would run screaming into the night.

for some interesting views concerning the current ( purposely designed)dysfunctional 3d secular relationship between sexes you might check out henry makow's site. at first he ticked me off, but i'm coming around. after all my master plan involving life and women didn't work out so good!

my best to you! love, bbb

[JohnMaltczevitch]

chuckle 3b!

you've really got my sense of humour! i'm on an emotional rollercoasterride, one day deep down, one day up. today's up, and thank for your kind remarks.

liliane

[MaraReenece]

i can't go on like this.

don't give up hope ameliejolie, i'm rooting for you...

[JeorgeNoxeref]

i feel so pathetic.

why do i always feel so needy, like a lonely, needy child?

what can i do with all these emotions inside me?