[NanoGordeno]

What a beautiful story, Ana! I'm happy you managed to figure this issue out. Congratulations and thanks for posting!

[LorencoLoricelli]

This happened a couple of weeks ago. I was laying in bed, trying to fall asleep. I can never calm my mind enough to just let go during meditation and there have been times when I can almost hear my guides screaming at me: Let Go Already! Anyway, I had been doing a lot of work on past life meditations via Denise Linn's meditations on Hayhouse and hadn't really had much success. So I was laying in bed, and I had a vision (I use this word lightly as it wasn't like a picture playing in my head, but more a sensing and being able to put a picture to what I felt)

There was a couple. The woman lived in a large building like a brothel type of establishment where she worked. There was a man who was a noble (not prince/royalty but noble meaning he was of a high standing family) The two met through this brothel, and fell in love. Upon deciding that he wanted to marry the woman, he approached his family who rejected the marriage not because of her line of work, but because her family was a lower standing/poor family. This was unacceptable to marry someone who was beneath you and his family adamantly refused. The man fought his family, but in the end, they feared that he would marry her without permission, thus staining their reputation and she was charged with several crimes. He came to her, and told her what was to happen and that she was to be stoned to death and he couldn't help her. There was no anger as the girl watched him walk away knowing that this is how things happen. She had expected it, almost. You don't anger families who hold higher station than you, and she couldn't hate the man for being loyal to his family and leaving her to her death. Sadness and heartbreak allowed her to open the gates on her own where she walked out to the crowd of people waiting to commence her punishment. -- Everything ended here as far as the vision goes, but what I knew without a doubt that the girl HAD been stoned to death, and the girl was me. The man was my current life husband. He had loved me but was stuck with a choice and he made the one that would give him the most profitable life.

I thought about this vision for a while and was comforted by it, oddly enough. I felt a sense of peace. A couple of days later, I discussed it with my husband and we were both amazed at how much it made sense. He has always had a sense of loyalty to me. It's something we discussed heavily when we were dating. When we married, his family was against it and tried to convince him that it was a bad idea. (Small town and I wasn't born and raised there, thus I was trouble. I was 'unknown') He left that town, we married and have been married for 12 years. We rely on each other for everything and are content to do so. He no longer speaks to his father and step-mother, but ocassionaly we do see his biological mother. (So he's seperated from his family in this life)

There has always been a fear that he'll leave me when I need him the most. We've talked about it so many times over the years and about how irrational it is, and tried to sort out where this fear came from. I had a good childhood, so it wasn't that. I had plenty of good friends, rarely had been betrayed by them, so it wasn't that...etc. It never made sense to either of us, and I spent a LONG time trying to get past such an irrational fear. I relied on him when these feelings would come out of the blue. We'd talk through them, and things would be fine. I'd make the logical jump that there was NO reason in the world to feel this way. Together, we have been able to get past those feelings when they happen even though we didn't understand where they came from.

The other thing, a lot of people we come across seem to have the attitude that I'm beneath my husband even though they don't know me. A few of his co-workers whom I've met maybe twice have made comments that get back to us, and we could never figure out what was causing them to make judgements like this about someone they knew nothing about. I always thought it was because my husband just didn't talk positive about me at work. In fact, he didn't talk about me at all as another co-worker later told me. Until I came to see him at work for the first time, they thought he was making up having a wife. He simply says he doesn't believe his personal life has anything to do with work, and there's no reason to tell anyone what his wife is doing, or even introduce my personal stuff into his work day. (I agree) So it was bizarre that these few co-workers would make judgements about me like that and it hurt my feelings deeply.

After this vision, it's like the puzzle pieces have fit together. I understand the things that didn't make sense before. I haven't spent a single minute worrying about him leaving me broken hearted, or not being there when I need him the most. I've been able to accept his actions in this life for what they are. He loves me, he protects me and he's loyal to me. He says that he's happy that he got another chance to show his love in this life, and that there isn't anything that he could choose over exploring life with me and our family and has expressed regret that he would have left me to die simply because I was a threat to his family's standing. (However, he said he always felt like he must have been a snob in a past life and that certainly fits. LOL. ) -- I also find that when I think about those co-workers who judged me before they knew me, it doesn't hurt like it use to. I am able to just shrug and know that it's an imprint of the past and doesn't reflect on who I am in this life, and what I'm accomplishing in this life. I don't feel any anger toward them either where if I thought about it before this vision, I would get so angry with them over their judgmental attitudes.

So while I still don't have proof that this is a past life, I certainly felt it adamantly and understood it to be a past life experience. Whether it was or not, it certainly cleared a few really big issues that I could find no explanation for, and had almost given up trying to put behind me. I was taught you had to KNOW where the issue came from to fix it and I could never do that. Now I feel that I have done so, and I've not been bothered at all with fear, anger or hurt feelings over these things. It's quite a wonderful experience to just be able to ENJOY the here and now without the attachments of the past pulling at your life.