[pBiRXp8u]

hi everyone,

this is my first real post to this forum. i am looking for some advice. i remember reading in the materials on this website about fear being a sort of almost "negative greeting" and that we shouldn't fear because if we can get past it, the negative will fall away (i am not sure that is correct, but that is what i remember). anyhow, i have a huge issue with fear...i am a 'fraidy' cat i suppose or a worry wart.... i get afraid over any thing, i fight to hold my balance, i try not to listen to news reports, it all just tears me up and i have to start over again trying to balance things. i got some news from where i am working currently and there is a possibility that i may not be able to work there anymore come the fall...i know that my field is much in demand and that i can find a job elsewhere, but still it stoked the fear fire within me again because i don't want to leave there, but i believe that i will be led to where i am supposed to be in the end (i always am). i wake up about 3 am every morning when i have worries and i am shaking in my boots again. many many things make me afraid, i feel like i live in fear so much of the time, and i really feel like i fight a losing battle here with it.

does anyone know how to best quell fear? my husband says that he just doesn't worry but it almost seems at time that my mind isn't even my own in this regard, i just can't help but just soak it in from everywhere around me.

thanks in advance for your advice,

truth37421

[traithJah]

i have the same sort of challenges. i have had anxiety out the ying yang and anxiety attacks, manic depressions and the whole nine yards.

i remember when i was a kid and i was standing on the edge of the high dive at the local swimming pool and i was so scared to jump. i was standing there for a long time looking down and wanting to do it so bad but afraid at the same time. well finally my brother came up behind me and pushed me in. i was mad as hell at him for a minute but when i got over it i was grateful because i saw there was nothing to be afraid of.

so my humble advice is just go charging in there cause in your heart of hearts i think you know there is nothing to be afraid of.

by the way, letting your guard down and starting a thread like this shows great courage.

love to all,
foo

[Salliter]

hi there,

the best "balm" to soothe fears is having contact with your higher self, imo. take time to meditate on your higher self, and then begin to reclaim the energy that you have put into being fearful. when you pick up on the fears being broadcasted to you by others in the world, ask your higher self to "refund" that energy back to the higher self of the sender so they can work on their stuff and you can focus on working on your stuff. check the site in my signature for techniques on doing all of the above and more.

in love & service,
cameron

[Vokbeelllicky]

meditation, if you are in the moment then there is hardly ever any reason for fear.

[Fsfkkkjz]

and talk to yourself, the bit of you that is afraid isn't an egghead cerebral type realist. it's an emotional reality with the mental capacity of a three year old.. so how do you help a three year old get over it's fear? you talk to it, coach it and accept the fear it has. because no matter how big you are, it's a real fear to the kid inside.

as a bonus, while you're busy soothing yourself, you're not telling your self stuff that makes it worse. and that downward cycle is usually what keeps us fearful long after the source of the fear is gone.

also if you feel your fear in your body. make sure you take proper breaths. if you fear you're likely to breathe shallowly. and the feeling that gives is like fear. just try breathing rapidly irregularly and shallowly for 30 seconds. guarantees are that you'll feel worse and get some fear symptoms. the other way round fortunately also works. if you're fearful but focus on your breathing it will draw you into the now like mindovereverything said. and thats very good, a solution in itself if you can hold on to it. but it will also reduce the physical discomfort and your body will report less fear.

it's quite possible that your breathing is shallow on average. being mindful and breathing properly will make a big difference in your life.


in my opinion fear is normal, it's all right to feel it. how you respond to feeling it that makes the real difference. your emotions are really like a toddler walking next to you. take them by the hand and guide them it works on fear but also anger frustration and other negative emotions.

[JennyStewarta]

there are many good responses here.

i've been free from major anxiety only in the last year. i had reason to be fearful at a very young age. my brain chemistry and my way of thinking was constantly reinforced by my circumstances.

to overcome the intense fear, i had to learn not to be fearful when i had never known another way. there were also some 57 years of covering up the anxiety because i was afraid others would find out.

the anxiety cycle can imprint itself in your brain and adrenal system so that the high level of fear response becomes a new normal. medication and therapy can support you while you are re-learning about your fears and changing the hyper anxiety response of your brain. (as well as meditation, healthy eating and drinking habits, and recreation and bunches of supportive people)

there isn't an easy/quick way out of this. it's an uphill path. but being free of the intense fear is worth all the years of effort.

know that you are loved just the way you are.
nancy in oregon

[Avgustslim]

dear truth37421,

you do seem to understand and reason out certain facts that contribute to your fears but as far as my experience goes .....it is often the final outcome of any given situation or consequences that makes us fear.

what if you role-played and imagined the worst that could happen if you got to the point which you are afraid to face. is it losing a 'favourite spot' or a what you may think is a perfect job for now?

if there is a purpose to anything in life it involves risk. risk of going ahead and trying out what the results turn out to be. taking risks is a small step towards overcoming fear.

when you have mastered it ...you will just let it go, go with the flow and will surrender to whatever that comes your way..almost

hope this helps a little.
take care.

senta ra

[pBiRXp8u]

wow! thanks to all for your responses. i do think that much like one "mindovereverything" said, i think i definitely pick up a lot on what others are feeling too. i can just walk in somewhere and know by the energy whether i need to be nervous or not about something. i never, even if i am 'shaking in my boots', so to speak, never just not forge ahead and go past my fears and onward. i guess i don't want to feel that way anymore if i can help it. you see, i don't know if others can see or even feel the anxiety/fear that i feel or whether my husband, who is saying he doesn't worry about anything, just doesn't have the imagination to think of what might happen or does and just knows some magic cure to get past it all.
i think its the curse of an empath. i think this is what has stopped me my life long with being able to watch any kind of horror movie. the images stay with me, i can't dissociate myself from those feelings. i become horribly disappointed in others when i hear of sordid details or illegal dealings, i can't even conceive of behaving in the ways that the people around me or the people in the news i hear about, do. but i also know that i am no better than anyone else, i have done things that i am not proud of and i believe, been through the "dark night of the soul" and i know that i am no better than any one. i do need to remember though that i am no worse either.
maybe i will check your website, cameron....i would like to see if your techniques work for me. i have had a hard time in the past with meditation, it seems like too many other thoughts intrude in my brain and i can't shut them out. i am a busy working mother of 3 with a husband and a house and it also seems like, if i truly relax, i start falling asleep because i am exhausted most to the time. lol
anyway, thanks very much for all of the replies and i will check into these things. it is good that i am not the only one who can get swallowed up by fear and i appreciate hearing how others maintain balance. i am always fighting to keep in balance in today's world.

[sharpyure]

negative entities feed off of fear and when you fear you are losing vital energy. it is very important to choose love over fear at all times. negative entities are drawn to fear and they are actually feeding off you fear and becoming stronger. fear is false evidence appearing real. it is a distorted view of reality. if you are in constant fear meditation can help and just try to see things are they are no more no less. if you see a chair, see that chair- do not start imagining things. watch your thoughts. love is the only cure for fear. embrace your fears and they will disappear. do not run away from your fears- face them, confront them and be valiant enough to see them go because when you look at fear in the face, it vanishes. i hope this helps.

[wmirkru]

and don't forget to breathe.

[fashikn]

from our perspective, that is, from this moment we are in right now. there are 3 directions we can look. we can look behind us, afterthought. we can look forward, forthought. and we can look at this moment. fear is usually what happens when we look into the future and see things we don't like.

these things aren't real, this is just the future we are choosing to create from here. we can also choose a bright future. our forthought is an important tool in creating a future we would like for ourselves. so is a spirit of gratitude. if we spend this moment being thankful for all that is here we won't have time to fear.

thankfullness for what i have, and intending a future full of what i want is how i quale fears.

your vivid forthought can be powerfull if guided by your intentions.

being energy sensitive can be overwhelming, too. fear is common in society, "sponging" up energy with no control can be very taxing. there are some techniques in visualization to help limit the energy you intake.

my favorite is the golden egg. gold is a color of protection when it comes to energy. i think it is too pure for negativity to pass thru. picture yourself standing inside of a golden egg that extends 3 ft. above your head and all around you. now, this egg can be as big as you like. the golden light shell can be used to block all energy from entering your space. although, i recommend using it as a filter where good, loving (green,blue,vio) energy can still pass.

another technique i have heard of is shrinking your energy. some people, i am one, have large energies. this is usually the case with people who have had room to spread out there energies, living in nature and open places or alone. when large energy people enter a crowded room or a mall, there large energy spreads and mingles with everybody elses. too, overwhelming. the technique is to picture your energy or aura shrinking close to you. it makes me feel much more grounded and less distracted in these situations.

enjoy, intend

[nerkvcbtre]

i almost never stress or fear anymore since i grew "detatched" from the reasons of these things.

the bad thing is, i almost never get in time to meetings and i fail 20% of my courses at university (but whatever, i feel healthy and happy.)
perhaps i can be labeled as "ignorant", but i sure don't make myself or others happy by neurotic behaviour.

remember that it's mostly other people that put pressure on you. forgive them, but also don't stand them influencing you negatively. be defensive against these negative influences, deflect them. don't let them "get to you".

people that get stressed from, for example, me showing up late has their own problems to deal with: they should learn spirituality from every moment.
standing waiting for someone? meditate, take a moment to feel all around you, take it "easy"...

and as others has said: meditate. there is -all- to gain from it. without meditation, i don't think anyone has a chance of gaining a state of peace of mind, one of the first steps on the path to love and unity.

[economex]

i found for myself, to overcome fear, i have to "live in the moment".

this places my focus on the here and now, where i am in control, with my own feelings and actions. while focusing living in the moment, you empower yourself "to do", instead of worrying what might happen, while wasting time (energy) over something that has not even come to be.

take each day as it comes, and do the best you can do for that day, and you will be pleasantly surprised with the results.

when a negative thought enters your mind, do not get upset. it just means that you have to tell yourself that this is just programming going on, and that you have the power to re-program your mind to more "useful" thoughts.

my tool that helped me to re-program my mind was not meditation, it was 10 deep soothing breaths, (healing in themselves) at the moment you realize that you may be losing control.

love & peace

[pBiRXp8u]

thanks again very much for all of the responses.....i will be trying some of these things.

[wmirkru]

when you're afraid of nothing specific, ask yourself, "what's the worst that can happen?" this will require you to think about things you might rather not imagine, but you will also come to see that the worst thing hardly ever happens, really, and you'll see that even if it did, you've managed to get to the other side of whatever it was just fine. it also tends to make less dramatic things less -well, dramatic.

good luck! we're with you!

[Imihooniump]

there are really some great advices here. i personaly don't fear of anything any more.

i would suggest you to read my post on another thread here on this forum, it has a lot to do with fear.

http://www.divinecosmos.com/forums/s...&postcount=162

br
malletzky

[drgshmcm]

remember that it's mostly other people that put pressure on you. forgive them, but also don't stand them influencing you negatively. be defensive against these negative influences, deflect them. don't let them "get to you".

people that get stressed from, for example, me showing up late has their own problems to deal with: they should learn spirituality from every moment.
standing waiting for someone? meditate, take a moment to feel all around you, take it "easy"...
.

sorry, but i have to point out the obvious it's not negative influence or too much pressure to expect someone to make it to a meeting on time or to hand in assignments or study for a test.

meditation & spirituality should put you more in touch with the feelings of others, not more likely to annoy them by being late and disrespecting them.

[nerkvcbtre]

sorry, but i have to point out the obvious it's not negative influence or too much pressure to expect someone to make it to a meeting on time or to hand in assignments or study for a test.

meditation & spirituality should put you more in touch with the feelings of others, not more likely to annoy them by being late and disrespecting them.

by the rules of our society, perhaps not. i am just living by the philosophy that all is transient and time is an illusion. it's not very realistic i guess, and not very relevant, but i see all pressure created by our society to be negatively influencing.
i try to distance myself as much as possible. it's given me a peace of mind, at least... and how can i help other people if i am not stable myself.

"disrespecting" is pretty objective, perhaps i wish them well by passively informing them of that there isn't much to spiritually gain by living your life by set points of time and plan everything.

one should serve people in the way they find constructive, but i'm not sure if anyone -wants- to live their life by the clock and find that evolving...

a new year of joy, hope love and compassion to all of you

[Loonerisav]

i'd be interested in how others have learnt to overcome fear in their lives. what techniques they used, what knowledge they learnt, etc.

for me:

1) the truth counts. i was keenly into non-fiction in my post-highschool days; wanted to learn about the ways of the world, the interconnections between politics, economics, social-studies, psychology, and the individual man. this path only took me so far ... before i got into the conspiracy realm. then the true nub of things started revealing themselves.

2) accepting oneself: so much of what we consider fear is just our memories replaying and resurfacing endlessly. it cloaks itself in various forms, takes on certain 'out-there' projections, but fundamentally, it is a fear of the inside, our own mind and consciousness.

3) financial stability: all through my college years i stressed and worried about money. this didn't improve much post college. only in the last couple of years have i stabilised my finances. many, many fears have evaporated in that midst.

so yeah, they have been some of my biggest concerns in life to this date, and how i have dealt with them (fairly successfully). i didn't even realise how deep seated some of these fears were until i truly confronted them.

cheers, ggw

[xsexymasterix]

i've noticed that some of the "newbies" are having a difficult time with all this new information......i'd like to say, as i've been an awakened "wanderer" from birth i've come to view my human body in a different way.....

having a human body has many wonderful aspects. it's a very "feeling" vehicle. we are bathed with a myriad of emotions at any given moment and those emotions are always changing.
...and fear is a very real human emotion. if you can think of what you are feeling as an emotional response to the rapid change, i think you can get back to your center again. it takes a bit of practice, but it has helped me greatly. i just remember who i am and what i've come here to do. * remember, fear is just fear, nothing more.

over the years, i've worked with crystals to help me get through. this works for me and it may help you, too. i carry hemetite within my auric field, as a necklace of beads, a bracelet or just a polished stone in my pocket. it acts as a shield against any incoming negative influences. i've also used fluorite as a protective stone against negativity, but it is a softer stone than hemetite and can shatter if it takes a "direct hit" from outside negativity. fluorite is better used for the "corpus colossum" integration.(i'll talk more about that at another time. basically, it eases information integration from right brain/left brain activity.)

i've also got an open "clairsentient" center. it is located between the solar plexus and navel chakras.......the stomach. if this center is open, you'll feel everything that everyone in the room feels and you can't distinguish between your feelings and the feelings of others. and, you'll experience gastro-intestinal disturbences, ie. heart burn, gurg, ulcers,upset stomach and even nausea. over the years, this "psychic" center gave me a whole lot of trouble. once i learned how to protect this center, i was able to deal with my own emotions and learn how to close this "psychic" center at will. this "center" is also responsible for the "sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach" feeling associated with fear.

i used to wear a necklace of hemetite under my clothes that went to my stomach for a while. over time, you will find that you won't need the hemetite quite as often for protection. by being free of "fear", you will learn how to "close"/protect that center with thought.

i think of this procedure as "chicken soup" for the wanderer.
try it..........it won't hurt!