[Seasmillets]

dear friends,

more nice thoughts from deepak...

http://www.intentblog.com/archives/2...ere_is_so.html

be well, be love.

david

[zzarratusstra]

this had reminded me of something that happened when i was younger.


i was about 13 or so, staying at home with my mother late one night. i had a friend over and for whatever reason, we had started laughing.. the laughter was the contagious kind and after a few moments we realized we couldn't stop..

my mother became annoyed with our laughter and had a few words with us. i told my friend he'd better head home, in between the bouts of laughter.

a few minuets after he'd gone, i was still laughing. being unable to stop i was making my mother more and more furious with me until finally, she came in with a belt to punish me. still the laughter couldn't be stopped.. after being hit a few times, i tried to pretend i was crying, but in reality i was still laughing. it continued like this till i finally gave in and continued laughing despite the fact i was being whipped with with a belt. the laughter made the whipping inconsequential, it didn't even hurt me. after a few more minuets of this contagious laughter, my mother was caught up into it too.. we both sat on my bed laughing for a few more minuets and then finally i was able to settle down.. i still remember that to this very day, the power it had to turn a very unpleasant situation into something much different.

i guess thats what deepak may have meant when he says its impossible to hurt or be hurt when we live in the joy that is available from our true nature.

[griddle]

i remember in my childhood and early teenage years that i would laugh at suffering, including the suffering of others. i wouldn't inflict suffering but i would laugh at it, it didn't seem real to me or important.

my laughter would literally make people mad, including my mother (just like ewhaz) and i would get all kinds of flack for it. adults and kids and everyone would always be telling me to be sad and to be quiet and how it was disrespectful yada yada. people want you to suffer along with them.

anyway, the social pressure worked, i eventually believed what i was told, i believed people when they told me that it was insensitive and cruel and cold-hearted to laugh at misfortune or pain or drama or conflict. i forced myself to stop laughing at things and i forced myself to mirror the sadness/pain that i saw in others.

it took me forever to figure out i was doing that, and now i've slowly been coming out of that and learning to laugh again. of course, the social pressure hasn't gone anywhere. as soon as i start to laugh or feel joy or smile i instantly feel a pressure telling me that it's wrong, that i should be sad and depressed like everyone else.

not going to fall for it this time around

[goldeneggs]

hi yossarian

of course it it insensitive to laugh a suffering person right up in the face...what on earth do you mean? i think you misunderstood something here...

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[XiWm9O9S]

as a teenager, my girlfriend was run over and killed. i stood in the living room to tell my mum and dad that evening, and couldn't help myself from laughing as i told them. it was an expression of an unfamiliar emotion by someone still unable to digest the news, and i recognized this at the time, as did my folks.

there was the sense of the ridiculous of the situation, the countenancing of the impossible condition in which a person close to me had apparently ceased to exist, not actual mirth. my mind was not taking in the concept, and i laughed as one would seeing a seemingly impossible optical illusion.

[goldeneggs]

hi mark

..that's a totally different thing from what i meant...and perhaps i misunderstood yossarian also..gosh, i'm getting tired of thinking and analyzing...i'm taking a break and will focus on laughing, playing and singing the whole midsummersnight through..life is truly paradoxical..

liliane the transit...

[griddle]

hi yossarian

of course it it insensitive to laugh a suffering person right up in the face...what on earth do you mean? i think you misunderstood something here...

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kind of depends on the context doesn't it?

there is such a thing as kind and compassionate laughter. i don't think compassion requires us to suffer alongside others, in fact i think the compassionate response is to help others find joy through example.

i'm not talking about mean laughter, and by suffering people i don't mean people being abused who could be helped. saying i "laughed in their face" is a very emotionally charged way to put it, and not an accurate picture of what i have in memory.

an example that i remember is when people would fight or argue, i would see them and laugh but it wasn't an uncomfortable laugh it was a peaceful laugh of understanding. people who fight or argue or dig up heavy emotions, from my way of thinking, are suffering.

i did also do the uncomfortable laughter thing that mark explained, but that was when i got older. that wasn't what i was talking about in my initial post.

as a little kid i remember this bully waylaid me one time and was very obviously threatening to beat me up, trying to intimidate me. at the time i just thought it was funny, fear or self-preservation never even entered my awareness. i smiled and laughed and he stopped and stared at me, partly trying to intimidate me and partly trying to understand me i think. it was my natural state to laugh and smile and be happy, i saw no reason why this particular encounter with this particular guy should cause me to stop feeling joy.

after a minute of staring he let me go - unharmed - and i was never bothered again.

when you think of laughter, do you think of meanness? the laughter i think of is a kind and loving laughter, the laugh of joy. not a divisive laughter or a mocking laughter.

i laugh at myself more than anyone, at my own flaws, and when i see my own flaws projected back to me by the universe, that sometimes causes me to laugh as well. i am grateful for this, i don't consider it insensitive.

[goldeneggs]

hi yossarian

..well i replied to your last post before you posted it, so to say..ha ha ha ha...

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[goldeneggs]

hello again!

it strikes me that i'm the only woman that has answered this post (i think at least)....i was in one way rised like a boy..."boys don't cry", not allowed to show the feelings of rejection i had to supress from being isolated from the rest of the family by my stepmother...i'm happy to have learned to cry oceans over my unhappy childhood and also the traumatic events i experienced as an adult..that's why i can laugh a true laughter today, not the forced ones i used to laugh to cover up my pain and trying to please all the strangers i was sent to....

liliane the transit

[Pinkman]

the paradox is everywhere lol..i think we should just express what we feel in the moment, express our natural reaction to a given situation be it laughter or tears or whatever, with reverence and respect for whatever someone else is feeling in that same moment. i thiink god laughs because when you get to that level of compleate oneness you see that all suffereing is a condition of the mind and the only thing that exsists is love...god is love..but god also is pain since god is everything and we are all one..don juan said the trick is to balance in the middle of the paradox lol 'walk the line' if you will.

[glasscollector]

i remember in my childhood and early teenage years that i would laugh at suffering, including the suffering of others. i wouldn't inflict suffering but i would laugh at it, it didn't seem real to me or important. i am also guilty as charged it was only after i had suffered or was intimidated did i give the the programmed response of being unhappy and miserable.
most people don't wish to come up to happiness they prefer to drag those around them down to there level of misery, i don't mean laughing at some one (example) bleeding to deaf in front of me as i would be compelled to help but after the event has taken place .

once i was witness to a guy getting his fingers pinched between some steel as a crane was hoisting it up the guy let out out a blood curdling scream the crane driver lowered the steel and i went over to see if he was alright no damage to his hand what so ever.
i then began to laugh the crane driver and this guy were as white as ghosts there eyes were popping out of there heads but no harm was done but i found the event funny for some reason... man did i get some looks.

[JackieC]

in a similar vein of the stories you guys are telling, i often make an effort to bring about humor and light-heartedness in a situation that involved some degree of suffering. naturally, i want to feel happiness in those around me, and therefore, i usually make jokes or harmless sarcastic comments during a stressful situation in order to inspire the idea that misery is not necessary at any given time. sure, it's a wonderful catalyst for growth, and i embrace it as such, but we must be joyful when we grow or else we are lessening that growth!

[goldeneggs]

hello!

what about this one: on a funeral suddenly a mobile start calling...all the grieving pple around the coffin search their pockets and bags, but no....the signal is coming from the coffin.........it turns out that the mortician had put his mobile on the coffin and pple put the flowers on top of it...my friend did not tell if someone had a hard time not laughing out loud...i'll ask her...

liliane the transit

[griddle]

i've heard that in scandinavia it's politically incorrect to smile in public. is that accurate?

[goldeneggs]

what???

where are you living? do you think there are polarbears on the streets of stockholm too? or are you trying to make me laugh?? guess if i'm laughing now..and what do you mean by "politically" incorrect? you mean that politicians specifically are not allowed to smile in public, or just anybody??? oh my, there are some ignorance here in this world...you must be joking!!!

liliane the transit

[XarokLasa]

you can see it in the dali lama too. he is very funny and often giggles for no apparent reason.

i guess to be enlightened means that you lighten up.

speaking of lightening up. i just heard a true story yesterday about my friend's sister and her husband. she was trying and trying for years to get pregnant and could not. she was very frustrated and depressed about it for a long time and she finally decided to get artificially inseminated. my friend said one month after she had her first child she got pregnant naturally. i think it is because the fear of not having one is gone, she lightened up, and allowed it to happen.

her are some dali lama jokes to tickle your funny bone:

the dali lama is in new york visiting the un. goes up to a hot dog vendor and says, "make me one with everything."

the hot dog vendor said "that will be $2.50" and the dalai lama handed him a five.

and waited.

the dalia lama said "hey where's my change?"

the hot dog vendor said "change must come from within" one night, a twin-engine puddle jumper was flying somewhere above new jersey. there were five people on board: the pilot, michael jordan, bill gates, the dali lama, and a hippie.

suddenly, an illegal oxygen generator exploded loudly in the luggage compartment, and the passenger cabin began to fill with smoke.

the cockpit door opened, and the pilot burst into the compartment. "gentlemen," he began, "i have good news and bad news. the bad news is that we`re about to crash. the good news is that there are four parachutes, and i have one of them!"

with that, the pilot threw open the door and jumped from the plane.

michael jordan was on his feet in a flash. "gentlemen," he said, "i am the world`s greatest athlete and i should have a parachute!" with these words, he grabbed one of the remaining parachutes, and hurtled through the door and into the night.

bill gates rose and said, "gentlemen, i am the world`s smartest man. the world needs smart men. i think the world`s smartest man should have a parachute, too." he grabbed one, and out he jumped.

the dali lama and the hippie looked at one another. finally, the dali lama spoke. "my son," he said, "i have lived a satisfying life and have known the bliss of true enlightenment. you have your life ahead of you; you take a parachute, and i will go down with the plane."

the hippie smiled slowly and said, "hey, don`t worry, your holiness. the world`s smartest man just jumped out wearing my backpack."

[griddle]

guess you can't believe everything you hear

i heard that in scandinavia (and other parts of europe) most people walk around with glum faces and consider it unbecoming to to walk around with a smile or to smile at strangers.

[goldeneggs]

well yossarian i must admit there's some truth to that, but i have a shorthaired collie that everyfifth person smiles at, and also my mother was born in marseille france, so i'm not 100% swedish..but actually, if you smile at somebody, he/she mostly smiles back...and the opposite...and finally to my question..where do you actually live? must be a nice place where pple are smiling a lot in public???

[goldeneggs]

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, hihihihihihihihihihi,hohohohohoho

veeeeeery funny indeeeeeeed foosnik

[zzarratusstra]

well, considering that reflexology teaches us that smiling begins to change our attitude.. what would be the general emotional state of a region that frowned on smiling??