[BloofPailafum]

i was wondering if someone could interpret this dream i had when i was 9. why did it have such an effect on me at the time, and haunt me with this inner longing/ yearning....for something?

was it a dream about my own twin self/ soul, or was it to do with a particular frequency/ soul group?

i dreamed that i was on this ancient ship. i was 9 when i had this dream, and i saw this boy who i fell in love with at first site. it was a pure, deeper kind of love. he had sandy blond hair and his nose was faintly freckled. he had deep blue eyes like the sea that seemed to go into the soul and beyond time.

in my dream, he was working as the ship's cabin boy, but this pure and gentle little soul was being mistreated....he was like, as i wrote in this poem trying to express the dream a while ago....a diamond in the darkness.

when i woke up from the dream, i was filled with this ache, this longing....this feeling of obsession almost and incompleteness. i felt this longing to be with him.
i don't know whether these are normal emotions for a 9 year old to experience. i wrote my dream down and tried talking about it, but nobody really understood. they just told me i shouldn't be worrying about finding love at my age.

i never heard of soul mates until i was older. i became more skeptical about mystical sort of stuff for a little while and tried to put it out of my mind. but later on, when i learned about "twin souls", i couldn't help but wonder.

i still don't know.
i don't know if i will ever find the "one" in this life-time, or whether it is simply a frequency, a soul group that i am looking for.
i do find the idea of twin souls incredibly beautiful and romantic though.

perhaps this wasn't even a dream about my twin soul, perhaps it was somebody else?

i never dreamed of him again, except vaguely in my daydreams.....sort of like an imaginary friend i had at that age.

in my daydreams we would meet up, and just play like children, like two best friends who completed each other....it was a completely pure kind of love.

for some reason, in my daydreams, he lived in a lighthouse and this is where we would meet.

does any of this mean anything, in your humble, honest opinions?

[mr.supervideogoodfd]

hello emily, love the dream, so innocent and pure. a wonderful gift in my opinion. when i have dreams i inturpret them in the context of other selves being extensions of myself. now i'm nowhere near an expert. i do see a corellation with the twin soul aspect or the searching for the "other self". the ra group discusses many aspects of our soul existing simultaneously. pehaps it was a deep wonderful connection to a different aspect of your soul. i do not know for sure. dream inturpretation is best left to the dreamer. what do you need it to mean? peace, love and light, alway's yours in service, doug

[ENGINESSQ]

how interesting eagle 13, when i ready your post ameliejolie i too thought the boy in your dream was yourself, either a past life memory that you were processing and putting into context or yourself in a symbolic sense.

i once had the gift of a dream where i felt a kind of intense, all encompassing love which was inexplicable - i would have been around 12 years old. these sorts of dreams, i tend to think, are to remind us of how pure and wonderful love should be.

but i agree with what's already been posted, the answers to dreams best lie within
lorna

[Anykeylo]

hey!

i must say that your dream awoke an old dream of mine where i met a girl in the wild. i felt such strong connection to her and so much love that it was out of this world. i really believe that is my twin flame, awaiting me on the other side.

but, i really feel that real love can be found when we are here, even though our twin flame may reside in 5d or another dimension. we are here to love to be able to love even more, bring it forth to our twin flame, grow new loving friendships and expand our loving conciousness....huh, sounds kinda silly... but this is what i hope/feel to be real

peace be with you

[ultramDoctoo]

wow, what an incredible dream experience!

yes, it has meaning, but as dw says, everything in your dreams is a part of you so it could be something as simple as a remembering/longing for the perfect love of your mother when you were in the womb and the realization that life is a bittersweet experience.

i hope that it is a connection to your soul mate though!!!

[BloofPailafum]

i feel like i'm drowning tonight.

i feel so sad.

[ENGINESSQ]

why the saddness sweetie?

[avaiptutt]

emily,

what a beautifully written post.

perhaps you are longing for the love you may have already experienced in a higher dimension and the veil has lifted enough for you to really remember what that love felt like…

i strongly suspect you are a wanderer, emily.

i feel so sad don’t be sad, we only have a few more years left in 3d and you may well get to go back (ahead) to, who knows, 5d, 6d and experience that pure love again.

i feel like i'm drowning tonight. throw yourself a life preserver girl and live in the now, love in the now. make it happen for the next four years or so. you may not necessary find the "one", your soul mate or your twin flame, but you can still find love if you let yourself.

and you never know, maybe your twin flame is waiting for you to return home to him. and you know what,

you’ll be home soon.

sending you love tonight. hope you can feel it.

kris

[FelicitaJ]

hello ameliejodie, my first impression, was that you had an important dream that was meant to be written down. and now you maybe ready to face yourself.

i dreamed that i was on this ancient ship.

in my dream, he was working as the ship's cabin boy, but this pure and gentle little soul was being mistreated....he was like, as i wrote in this poem trying to express the dream a while ago....a diamond in the darkness.

when i woke up from the dream, i was filled with this ache, this longing....this feeling of obsession almost and incompleteness. i felt this longing to be with him.

may i say, you felt the mistreatment of this boy and the pain of incompleteness because you felt you gave alway your "free will" in this life. to whom ever was mistreating you and not allow you to be free and complete. you were young, but strong, yet felt you could not say no and just went along.

you may be carry a bit of guilt and judgement of self from this period that needs to heal. forgive yourself or the little boy in the dream for not being the full being they knew they were. perhaps you are at a time to see the dream more clearly and let those emotions go.

the reason this attracted me, is i had a similar reaction to something i was reading, i felt i was there and had also given away my will to another and was a puppet rather than my true self. in my vision, i saw what i didn't like about myself then, kinda a recall sitution (replay)

the light house, he is holding the light you are and want you to be able to find him to gain it back, fully.

peace and love, rhonda

[BloofPailafum]

thank you everyone.

this has been quite insightful.

thank you, kris, everyone.
i had a strange day yesterday. i had this brilliant reiki healing at this group i went along to. then when i got back, the boys father, who was looking after them- we had an argument. i felt as though i had gone from a womb-like experience straight into one of hatred.

so i cried myself to sleep and shouted at god, ra and everyone in the spirit world for leaving me so alone.
i feel tired of this life, tired of being me.

i feel too fat and unattractive for anyone to want me right now.
i really want to be held though. being told people care about me in the other dimensions isn't enough. i need something i can see and feel- in this life....
my family love and care about me, but i just feel i'm not like any of them at all.

i long for a wavelength.

i feel so scared of getting out there, trying to meet people, etc, and starting right from the beginning.
i have no social life, no friends.
the only person i had was the boy's father.
its so confusing because i feel i'll always have love for him, its just clear we're not right for each other....whereas with him its all or nothing.
i've tried so hard to get these feelings across to him for so long- he just sticks his head in the sand. and we end up sleeping together again....its a very confusing situation.
i feel trapped within this prison of my life, my identity, these circumstances.
i want to be free, long to be free.
i feel like i'm ready to return to the creator already....because i feel so tired of everything.
tired of the "world of illusion", etc, etc.......

sorry.
just unloading my burden somewhat.

[BloofPailafum]

an ancient ship
decks creaking
on the calm, sunny sea

crewed by men
with corrupted souls
and hardened hearts

and yet.....
a diamond in the dirt
an angel amongst
the darkness

a stolen boy

his eyes were clear and pure
and light shone through him
in one timeless moment

i felt i knew him......


i screamed inside
the depths of my soul
helpless to help him

separated, by time and fate

drowning from yearning
fevered i'm burning
in sadness
and longing

but it is just a dream
it was just a dream

[FelicitaJ]

hang on, hang in there

could it be that you are doing alot of soul work right at this moment. bringing up issues, buried hurts that are surfacing to be seen and released. they serve you no more. you are strong, now yourself when others are still seeking, and working to incorporate this into your new now life.

go with what your spirit is bring forward., see what lessons are present and face them, allowing them to move on and you to also. the change, into the new, your real self.

hang in there, it will be worth it !

ps: these moments will pass and greener pastures await.

[BloofPailafum]

these words have just brought me a little comfort:

who sees all beings in his own self,
and his own self in all beings,
loses all fear...

into deep darkness fall those who follow action.

into deeper darkness fall those who follow knowledge.


one is the outcome of knowledge,
and another is the outcome of action.


thus have we heard from the ancient sages who explained this truth to us.


those who know both knowledge and action,
with action overcome death,
and with knowledge reach immortality.


into deep darkness fall those who follow the immanent.


into deeper darkness fall those who follow the transcendent.


one is the outcome of the transcendant,
and another is the outcome of the immanent.


thus have we heard from the ancient sages who explained this truth to us.


those who know both the transcendant and the immanent,
with the immanent overcome death,
and with the transcendant reach immortality.


~ isa upanishad

[Anykeylo]

hey!

you are more beautiful and more precious than you can ever imagine...stay with us here on planeth eart at this time...you really do have an important role in this lifetime..as in all lifetimes...do not give up...we love you, god loves you, your children love you. we ("the lucky ones") are reailly needed one earth at this moment, hang in there...we need each other...

may love be your guiding light, may faith be your stepping stone, all is going to be good, god promise us that.

peace be with you

love to you

ps. i know somewhat where you come from...hang in there...life is worth living, love yourself, forgive yourself, be yourself.

[BloofPailafum]

thank you friends.

yesterday i went along to this local spiritualist church i've been wanting to go to out of interest.

i received a message from my grandad which was so specific to me i had no doubt it was genuine.

it brought me great comfort!

he wants me to stop thinking so negative and fight for myself a bit more- he is tired of seeing me being that way!
wow.

rhonda, you could be right about me doing spiritual work on myself- i did have a reiki healing session on friday, the effects if which are meant to be ongoing for some time.....

anyway, take care folks.

thanks for your support.

[HilaryNidierer]

hi amelie!

i have always felt a strong tie to you! just remember, you are not alone in your personal journey. ultimately, its gods journey. there are reasons for your curious mind of why you feel so deeply about others pain and your own feeling of being left alone by our creator/creators. i often have to realign my thoughts when i start to get angry about why i am alone here without my creator. something just comes over me telling me it wasnt supposed to be this way, but that i am needed for this experience. we are needed! that is soo important. we feel we arent needed because we feel alone. but ultimately, that is why we are needed. i wonder if god is feeling alone right now as well, for god is without a part of thee self as well, for god has been separated.

much love to you!
lynette

[addyta.org]

ameliejolie i respect your ability to express your feelings. whether you know it or not, a lot of people share them, some of the time. i'm being reminded to stop being a victim. to take responsibility for myself and know that i create my own reality. that whatever someone does or thinks is their business and none of mine. to focus on what i have, and not on what i don't have. to be grateful. to know that it's time to stop running away or distracting or comfort eating (i'm going to blow up soon!) and just face whatever needs to come up or out. brave words, can it manifest? who knows, i can only keep on keeping on, what else is there to do. in the meantime, who can deny the grace of this moment? the teachings of this amazing person, the existence of this forum for expression?

[BloofPailafum]

thank you, lynette and larissa.
love to you.

i do realize that other people share my thoughts/ feelings. its just one can still feel alone in their personal life. i'm making steps to gradually meet more like-minded people now. but i think its only natural for people to feel alone sometimes- we can't always understand each others points of view, etc. we have chosen to live a separate existence, and this is a gift- but in time i think its possible to connect more.

i don't think any human being is perfect.

i was thinking about this blog someone posted somewhere, an article they had found about how mother teresa struggled with faith:
by helen kennedy
daily news staff writer

friday, august 24th 2007, 4:00 am


mother teresa, a globally beloved symbol of saintly devotion to the poor, spent her last 50 years secretly struggling with doubts about her faith, her newly published letters show.

"if there be god - please forgive me. when i try to raise my thoughts to heaven, there is such convicting emptiness that those very thoughts return like sharp knives and hurt my very soul," she wrote.

"how painful is this unknown pain - i have no faith."

the letters paint an astonishing alternate portrait of the nun revered for her selflessness and serenity. in reality, she was tortured for decades by her inability to feel even the smallest glimmer of the lord's presence.

she felt abandoned by christ, referred to jesus as "the absent one," and called her own smile "a mask."

in the 1960s, after receiving an important prize, she wrote, "this means nothing to me, because i don't have him."

sixty-six years worth of her deeply personal letters to superiors and confessors - preserved by the catholic church despite her dying wish that they be destroyed - are published in a new book, "mother teresa: come be my light," excerpted in time magazine.

the book is by the rev. brian kolodiejchuk, director of the mother teresa center and the driving force behind efforts to canonize her.

she has already been beatified, the step before formally being declared a saint.

"i've never read a saint's life where the saint has such an intense spiritual darkness. no one knew she was that tormented," kolodiejchuk said. "it will give a whole new dimension to the way people understand her."

he argues that the depth of her spiritual suffering increases her saintliness.

most believers suffer from crises of faith, but the duration of teresa's alienation from christ seems extreme.

it began, she said, soon after she set up her missionaries of charity in calcutta in the late 1940s to succor india's poor. and it lasted, with only a joyous five-week respite in 1959 when she refound god, until her death at age 87, a decade ago.

"there is such terrible darkness within me, as if everything was dead. it has been like this more or less from the time i started 'the work,'" she wrote in 1953.

after pope pius xii died in october 1958, teresa prayed to him for proof that god was pleased with her work. "then and there," she rejoiced, "disappeared the long darkness ... that strange suffering of 10 years."

but five weeks later she reported being "in the tunnel" again, and her dark night of the soul never lifted.

the nun, born agnes gonxha bojaxhiu to ethnic albanian parents in what is now macedonia, coped with what she termed her "spiritual dryness" by likening it to christ's doubt on the cross.

"i have come to love the darkness for i believe now that it is part of a very, very small part of jesus' darkness & pain on earth," she wrote in 1961.

teresa was a 36-year-old convent teacher riding on a train in india on sept. 10, 1946, when she said christ spoke to her directly, telling her to become a missionary in the slums to help the poorest of the poor.

"come be my light," is what she heard.

back then, she felt a deeply personal bond with jesus, recounting conversations and visions. it was that loss that she mourned the rest of her life, although she never abandoned her work.


quote:
words of agony
excerpts from mother teresa's letters: lord, my god, who am i that you should forsake me? the child of your love, and now become as the most hated one, the one you have thrown away as unwanted, unloved. i call, i cling, i want, and there is no one to answer, no one on whom i can cling, no, no one. alone. where is my faith - even deep down right in there is nothing, but emptiness & darkness. my god, how painful is this unknown pain. i have no faith. i dare not utter the words & thoughts that crowd in my heart & make me suffer untold agony.

i am told god loves me and yet the reality of darkness & coldness & emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul. did i make a mistake in surrendering blindly to the call of the sacred heart? - undated, addressed to jesus

please pray specially for me that i may not spoil his work and that our lord may show himself - for there is such terrible darkness within me, as if everything was dead. it has been like this more or less from the time i started "the work." - 1953, to archbishop ferdinand perier

such deep longing for god - and . . . repulsed - empty - no faith - no love - no zeal. [the saving of] souls holds no attraction. heaven means nothing. pray for me please that i keep smiling at him in spite of everything.

- 1956, to perier jesus has a very special love for you . . . [but] as for me, the silence and the emptiness is so great that i look and do not see, listen and do not hear. the tongue moves [in prayer] but does not speak. - 1979, to the rev. michael van der peet i think its important to remember this- to remember each and every person's fragility- even our teachers.

we cannot expect them to be "towers of strength" all the time.

even jesus was quoted as saying:
"my god, why hast thou forsaken me?"

there are times when those we view as "towers of strength"- they too may need to cry, to break down for a while- and to receive the love and support of others.

this is only natural.

let there be love.

[BloofPailafum]

after reading this (amazing) near-death experience story, i realized that the boy in my dream was probably my oversoul, a metaphor of sorts.

http://www.mellen-thomas.com/stories.htm

[moderator: using the search function and typing in 'mellen thomas' will bring up various archived posts on this gentleman]

[MattJargin]

one thing about dealing with anything spiritual is knowing how to release control. you don't have any control over most of this stuff; what is happening in my opinion is that you are being given glimpses of something. if something is in the works for you, some connection with some person or being, it will manifest in its own time.

i do not know who or what my soul mate is, but my guidance is kind of advising me on the level that the time is only right for anything when the time is right. best to simply observe and deal with other things at hand.