[TNOULbr2]

hello, just joined up, this is my first post, i'd just like to ask a few questions relating to the wanderers, see if anyone else has had these same thoughts, experiences etc. anyway, very briefly about myself, i'm 21 and from ireland, ever since i was very young i was always strange, different, always in my head, unable to understand the world, society, why it was as it was. i watched a 6 hour [email for name] lecture when i was 15, the world got flipped upside down and started to make sense for the first time, even as crazy as it all would seem to someone who knew little and believed in even less, it felt right instantly in it's essence. i've learned a lot since then and expanded my knowledge but basically, only recently have i known of david wilcock and his work. after watching some videos of him, i obviously went to his site and out of all the things i could have read, strangely and without any real decision i went straight to his wanderer awakening article, chapter 9 i believe it is, was very emotional. anyway, read the mandelkar quiz, intially disappointed because i thought i didn't fit many of the key observations until i started remembering all these things from my life that fit it almost perfectly with it, combined with perfect synchronisation and the ultimate self acceptance and realisation, if there are wanderers out there, i'm one of the more obvious ones, it felt right again and was at a critical point in my life, a decisive crossroads, perfect timing. anyway, basically deep down within myself, on a soul level, i know i'm a wanderer, that isn't my question, the question is this: if i am a wanderer and i believe the rough figures were that 1 in 80 people could be? considering all the people we know and interact with in life, is it possible? even likely that those who we connect with most, can express ourselves freely with, our closest friends, who share some of the classic qualities of wanderers, a handful out of thousands upon thousands of possibilities of people we've came in contact with throughout life, are indeed wanderers too? it seems logical to me but the idea of 3, 4, 5 unwitting wanderers sitting in the same room seems weird. just wondering if anyone else has felt this way or has found out that some of the people they are closest too are actually of the same ilk as they are. also, how do you bring it up with the logical vulcan breed of wanderer? should you even try since they are so skeptical? any thoughts, advice, would be appreciated, godspeed.

[irresseni]

yes! wanderers unite! strength is in numbers.

i think there are so many important people in our past who were wanderers. i think albert einstein was a wanderer. this is my favorite quote from him:

a human being is a part of a whole, called by us "universe", a part limited in time and space. he experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest ... a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. this delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty." -albert einstein when i read dw's book and learned of starseeds/wanderers the hair raised up on the back of my neck and goose bumps appeared on my flesh. i thought, "finally! there is a reason for why i feel like such a freak!"

now my whole mentality has changed from feeling like a bad egg or an outsider to someone who is not from here and is just visiting to see what it is all about. to learn and grow from my experience here on earth.

i am not sure where exactly i am from. and i have read that we have probably had many different lives on many different planets. and to go one step further, it is possible that we are living many different lives, in many different dimensions all simultaneously.

the important thing for me was to realize that i just may not be from here and this is the reason for my feeling out of place.

i am going to a hypnotist in the next few weeks so if i learn of any specific life on another planet i will post it here.

cheers,
foo

p.s.

i am american but my great grandparents are from ireland. for us americans, the celtic country is steeped in mystery and intrigue. anyway, just wanted to say that even though i have never been there, my irish roots are very important to me.

[Hitfaromarf]

i feel like a "wanderer" too.

whether or not we are really et souls, or old souls, or souls tuned into higher frequencies....it doesn't really matter i feel. it's the main concept of just feeling different that counts, and what we're all about.

i was listening to david wilcock's interview on myth or logic radio yesterday and he was talking having these experiences when he was younger in which he felt the earth herself was scared, etc. i don't know if this is true about the earth, but i can say that many times when i have been walking alone in the woods or near trees, i too have felt as if the earth was speaking to me.
i had this overwhelming feeling that i wanted to do something for our world.....but i didn't know what.

i'm not sure if i have ever met other wanderers before in person.

but since i have had regular access to the internet, i feel i have definitely met a few online.

i really hope we do get the gift of levitation, etc when the "shift" occurs.

it would be really great to teleport anywhere we wanted, if this could be done.....i would really love to hang out with you guys and others, whenever we wanted, unrestricted by the illusion of distance.

anyway, i must fly! :d

[toreesi]

welcome p, i feel different than most everyone i meet but can usually find a spiritual side to them, eventually, that shows we all seem to be connected where it matters.

one night i did find someone who's life paralleled mine, i mean we must have been born under the same astrological signs or from the same tribe as his life was a precise version of mine, but that is the exception!

i feel like i'm part of this earth though, rather than an alien or angel or some other otherworldly soul that 'got caught in the low density and forced to reincarnate along with the rest of us'.

[ENGINESSQ]

hi psatullo
have you read carla rueckert's a wanderer's handbook? i found it really very useful and interesting.

anyway, getting back to your question about other wanderers, yes i believe there are many people in my life who are wanderers. one of my friends, who now lives on the other side of the world from me, we've always had a deep but inexplicable connection which i believe is to do with wandering together. he does't believe in stuff like that but hey-ho, it's just not for him right now

my parents i strongly believe are both wanderers too - my mother has a growing interest but is cautious about expressing what she feels to be true. they embody sto in everything they do, and the patterns surrounding other people's reactions to them are interesting, but that's another story....

there is some text, somewhere, in the loo material, or the quo transcripts about there being waves of wanderers incarnating at particular periods of time, 1950s being one (my parents & carla, jim, don's generation) who have a strong 'need' to demonstrate sto. then 1970s (myself, dw's generation) who have a bias towards self-development.

those people born later, so your generation, if i remember right, did ra not suggest these were 4-d ready souls, so wanderers who are probably closer to penetrating their veils? (been awhile since i spent much time reading the loo books!)

my experience of sharing this kind of information is that when people are ready to hear they normally give some indication, like a question about what you believe, or why you suddenly seem more content etc so in answer to your question, no i don't think you should try and bring it up, the moment will present itself if the other individual is ready for this information.

meantime happy wandering!
lorna

[mr.supervideogoodfd]

greetings, i'm doug from wisconsin. i had the priviledge to attend the concsious life expo, in feb. that david was a key presenter at. i was guided if you will to be there. it changed my life, along with many other events of the past 5 yrs. i have never fit in anywhere. i felt at home if you will out there in l.a. most everyone thinks i'm crazy back here. my life has not been pretty. at 5 yrs. old i had a event occur which i'm still trying to figure out. i saw a object floating in the sky, sitting in the back of my parents car. i tried to tell them what i saw but i couldn't speak. that image haunts me to this day. i began useing drugs and alcohol at the age of 13. i attempted suicde at 21, and after 2wks in a mental institution, ended up in a.a. after 7yrs. in a.a. i studied for 5yrs. with a native american medicine man, trying to get to the bottom of my constant feelings of fear, rage, and distrust. during which i tried to integrate into normal life, by being married and fathering 3 children. i ended up divorced though not because of my wife, i couldn't figure out how to love. i remarried, trying again to integrate into a normal life, while continuing my spiritual work to try and heal my shattered self. of course i,m divorced again and now am alone. my father died unexpectedly, 12-21-05! ironic! that was the catylast that propelled me into an awakening! i began taking better care of myself. lost 45lbs, ate much better, and had an operation to fix a herniated embylical.(no 2nd chakra blockadge there! lol!) a year after my father died to the day! this past year has been full of events that have further activated my spiritual self. my heart opened 9-22-07. for the first time in my life i experienced love! this was the turning point in my life! after returning from the expo in feb, after attending david's post conference workshop, i noticed a very strange sensation. i now feel others energy. what a beautiful gift. i've always felt i've had a mission to complete here. i just had to learn to forgive myself for the realization to take place. i am a wanderer. i don't know from where i came. i do know i have a purpose being here. my intuition has blossomed, and now nothing gives me more joy in life then to encourage and love people for who and what they are. for me the realization really hit home while i read "a wanderers handbook" written by carla rueckert, availible for free from l/l research. the law of one series of 5 books i also highly recomend. my life is transforming daily. it is a priviledge and a true blessing for me to be of service, not bad for someone who has wanted to die most of their life. it's not always easy either. as i write this i have been experiencing night terrors for 3 nights now. i also have regularly occuring migranes as i continue to work through the blockages of the 6th chakra, and try to keep the lower ones open. it is a process. a beautiful, though sometimes painful one. please forgive yourselves! know that we are all beautiful, wonderful, important souls who need to be here in order to aid in the upcoming events. trust that we can all realize how are each unique, individual gifts can aid in the transformation process we have chosen to be a part of. this is truely the most fantastic time to incarnate here. may i send much love and encouragement to all fellow wanderers! we are needed. we also have legions of help to provide us support in our task. bless you all, and even though i'm alone in wisconsin, i'm at home with my fellow brothers and sisters of sorrow. thank you everyone. your's in service, doug

[TNOULbr2]

hello, thanks guys for your response and making me feel very welcome, i appreciate it. i listened to dw's myth or logic interview after i started this thread and by the end of it i was just like wow, everything he went through as a teenager relates so closely to what i've went through and still am, i'm sure many many others have felt this too. it just highlighted that although i may know and believe i'm a wanderer, i'm certainly not living like one who has awakened, there is much for me to do, first and foremost to heal myself and unblock my chakras and just realise that i chose to come back here to help but before i can even contemplate helping others, i have to help myself.
the world just seems like such an unforgiving unloving selfish place at times and i think that's why most of us who feel different have went through traumatic events or hidden ourselves away from everyone and basically went through a very unhealthy period of life, we just hurt a lot and couldn't realise why we didn't fit in at all, we couldn't see the world like everyone else, to us it was madness, that's how i felt anyway. there is hope though, plus much much more for me to read about this subject, starting with the wanderers handbook methinks. it really is a beautiful time to be alive and for a long time, i couldn't even dream of me saying such a thing i was so lost and lonely. thank you all again for your input, i think it's time for the healing process to begin so we can all do as much as we can to help others wake up if they choose to. godspeed.

[irresseni]

hello, thanks guys for your response and making me feel very welcome, i appreciate it. i listened to dw's myth or logic interview after i started this thread and by the end of it i was just like wow, everything he went through as a teenager relates so closely to what i've went through and still am, i'm sure many many others have felt this too. it just highlighted that although i may know and believe i'm a wanderer, i'm certainly not living like one who has awakened, there is much for me to do, first and foremost to heal myself and unblock my chakras and just realise that i chose to come back here to help but before i can even contemplate helping others, i have to help myself.
the world just seems like such an unforgiving unloving selfish place at times and i think that's why most of us who feel different have went through traumatic events or hidden ourselves away from everyone and basically went through a very unhealthy period of life, we just hurt a lot and couldn't realise why we didn't fit in at all, we couldn't see the world like everyone else, to us it was madness, that's how i felt anyway. there is hope though, plus much much more for me to read about this subject, starting with the wanderers handbook methinks. it really is a beautiful time to be alive and for a long time, i couldn't even dream of me saying such a thing i was so lost and lonely. thank you all again for your input, i think it's time for the healing process to begin so we can all do as much as we can to help others wake up if they choose to. godspeed.

couldn't say it better myself, my friend.

there absolutely is hope. i have felt bits and pieces of what life can be and it can be awesome. we must keep fighting and moving in this direction. like you said, godspeed.

keep your head up.

[Hitfaromarf]

eagle13,that was so well written. thank you for sharing.i can relate to a lot of what you wrote.i'm glad you are finally healing now. i have been working on that too.keep up the good work!lots of love.

[mr.supervideogoodfd]

never give up on what you are. no matter what continue to trust in the awakening process. i just started awakening myself. i have such a long way to go, but the progress has been mind boggling. even though i still have much pain, i now have love to balance it. it is the most healing force in the universe, and if nothing else i am starting to reflect it back, a little more each day. meditation, daily, has helped me tremendously. good luck psatullo, may you be blessed with much love and light as your journey continues to unfold. peace to all and much love, yours in service, doug

[mr.videomen]

.....at 5 yrs. old i had an event occur which i'm still trying to figure out. i saw an object floating in the sky, sitting in the back of my parents car. i tried to tell them what i saw but i couldn't speak. that image haunts me to this day.

hi doug [eagle13]...thanks for sharing!

do you feel like sharing more of that experience/sighting you had at 5 ?

would love to hear more if you feel up to it. if you would rather do it by sending me a private message about it...that is your decision.

i have used the name "eagle" throughout the internet and also in business for years...your name caught my eye.

i "threw in the towel" over 20 years ago with drugs and alcohol. so another thing in common besides names. yet another...3 children : ) and 13 is my lucky number : )...yet another!

hi psatullo,
thanks for sharing...
you seem to be on a "pure" path of healing and tuning into harmony.
i wish you the best!

i hope you don't mind if eagle13 shares some more of his story here.

this could turn into a "wanderers" sharing thread that you started : )

[mr.supervideogoodfd]

hey dab, no problem, one thing i am, is an open book. i was in the back seat of my fathers '67 gto, sweet car, and i looked out the window to my right. we were driving on a hyway going from elgin ill. to our home in dundee ill. i noticed what appeared to be a very large, dull, dark colored cylindrical object, in the sky, maybe 20-30ft above a small strip mall. the last thing i remeber was thinking how strange it was. i remember trying to ask my parents if they saw it and i couldn't speak.........that's all i remember. now i've had lot's of dreams of ufo's and whatnot, none of which were frieghtening, but this event scared the **** out of me. always has. right now i'm on night 3 of what iv'e termed night terrors. wake up, scared damn near to death, just drenched in sweat, maybe some other fluids too, but we wont go into that. lol! i'm not one who scares easily either. i've had some greetings from some shall we say not so pleasent feeling entities also, quite recently. i just thanked them for there presence, and asked if there was anything i could do to teach them of the love of the creator! and they leave in a flash! not sure if this will continue to work, but it has so far. i think the key is to focus on not feeding it if it is of a negative polarity. it just doesn't feel right becase it's not invited, at least to my conscious knowledge. i think i might have picked up a straggler. who knows, i'm new to this game. all i know is my life has changed dramaticly in syncronistic way's i never dreamed possible. sorry about the grammer, can't blame it on ethnic differences, just ignorance! lol anyway i've been pursuing the path of healing since i was 21. ended up in the local hospital's mental ward on a suicide attempt, after 7yrs. of drug and alcohol abuse. all to try to forget the incident and abuse that occured when i was 5yrs old. i did eventually tell my parents but they didn't beleive me on either acount. i knew very early i was alone and didn't fit in. it's funny, to this day when i recount that age, a pain develops in my back, the body never lies about these things, the mind on the other hand....... i have resonated to the law of one teachings of ra a lot longer than i realized. i don't know if people know this, but i'm told edgar cayce gave bill wilson, cofounder of a.a., the 12step program in a reading he did for bill. the 12 steps was my first introduction to a spiritual program. and of course we know who edgar's source was for his readings. after 7 yrs i grew tired of a.a. and went seeking elsewhere. i met a wonderful group of native american midawen men, who took me under their wing(they were mostly eagle people accept the 4th level midawean man who was named wirl wind) the healing bear lodges they taught me about and allowed me to enter, were some of the most comforting times in my life, then of course, as alway's i had a dream that i was supposed to fast for an answer for, but before i could be taken on my vision quest, my teacher got drunk and went back to his reservation in northern wisconsin. not before i received my spirit name in a ceremony. hence my handle, my true spirit name is ganu meegwenun innini, or eaglewingman, and since the ceremony was on 10-13-95, i like to remember the 13th day. anyway more presently, i had started studying around 2002, and then my mother in law died in 12-13-2003, that hit me hard. i loved her dearly. oh and not to downplay but each of my children followed thier old man with suicide attempts of thier own! thank god know one was successful. my father then died, very unexpectedly, very abruptly in the very early morning hours of 12-21-05! i had the honor of kissing him on the forehead as he passed to other side, while telling him i love him, it's ok, ill take care of mom, she was hysterical of course. that was the jolt to end all jolts! i freaked! lost 45 lbs, in the next year, and on 12-21-06 had my herniated embylical (2nd chakra blockage big time!) repaired. on 2-26-07 realized there was no way in hell i could stand another moment of life with my wife of 12yrs. in mexico, oh those crafty myans!lol! still trying to sell my house, damn housing bubble! lol! went through hell last summer, depression, depression, depression. fell in love with another woman, more depression, (she doesn't love me, ha!) then the most remarkable thing happened on 09-22-07. my heart opened up at you ready for this, 11;11 a.m.! lol give me a break. i had what i call the 12 days of bliss. october brought a brief sexual interlude with my love. december brought denial from her, and having no place to live on, you guessed it 12-21 needless to say on 12-22 i came the closest to having a drink in 24yrs. had my hand on the bar door, had my order in mind. double shot jack daniels and a miller genuine draft(to prime the pump!) i had a moment, standing there, turned around, got in my truck, went to my mothers house instead. shaking the whole way, she latter kicked me out too! day before christmas, lol, this is so funny, i almost die laughing when i look back. didn't at the time of course. that brought me to seeing an add for the concsious life expo in l.a. i knew the moment i saw it i had to go. after all david was going to be there. buy the way, i printed shift of the ages out, and have it in two, 3 ring binders, affectionatly named "the black book" and "the blue book" of course can't get another soul around me to get past the intro in the first book, but ive read it 3 times!! so feb, i find myself on a plane to l.a. needless to say more life changing events that made the 12 days of bliss seem like kindergarten! i came back from there, with the strangest feeling. i realized human beings give off energy, and i could feel it. holy ****! so, more reading and rereading, ra material, a wanders handbook,(oh my god!) and a few other things, ......so now i'm here..........supposed to get up to go to work in 2 hrs, instead i'm writing a novel to galactic, time traveling, possibly alien, wanderers, all so i can avoid being tortured in my sleep, by god knows what, so i can learn how to reflect love to a world of people, who don't care much less give a ****!! and i'm finding it humorus(if i could spell) and having the time of my life doing it, oh yeah for the best part, all so i hopefully don't have to repeat this all this crap for another 75,000 yrs! lol! no, really i'm fine! dandy, just peachy!!! seriously, i wouldnt' trade my life for all the money in the world! life is a grand adventure! now, off to get the **** scared outa me lol! peace, ya all, and much love and light to ya! (i gotta admitt, i'm a little nervous about that 51 percent 49 percent split. i really do kinda enjoy pushing that 49 percent sts thing a little far!lol!) good night

[mr.supervideogoodfd]

sure dab, no problem. i was five years old, riding in the back seat of my father's '67 gto, when looking out to the right, i noticed a large, dull, dark coloured, cylindrical shaped object, floating in the sky above a small strip mall. this was in between elgin ill. and dundee ill. i tried to ask my parents if they saw that, and for some reason i couldnt' speak. that's all i remember. there is a lot of fear involved with the recollection. as far as my handle goes, i recieved my spirit name ganu meegwinun ininni, eaglewingman, after doing sweat lodges and ceremonies with the midawien, or medicine men of the ojibway tribe from northern wisconsin/ southern canada. the naming ceremony took place 10-13-95 hence the number 13. if you would like more info on what's going on shoot me a message. glad to share anytime. love and light to you all, yours in service, doug

[irresseni]

greetings, i'm doug from wisconsin. i had the priviledge to attend the concsious life expo, in feb. that david was a key presenter at. i was guided if you will to be there. it changed my life, along with many other events of the past 5 yrs. i have never fit in anywhere. i felt at home if you will out there in l.a. most everyone thinks i'm crazy back here. my life has not been pretty. at 5 yrs. old i had a event occur which i'm still trying to figure out. i saw a object floating in the sky, sitting in the back of my parents car. i tried to tell them what i saw but i couldn't speak. that image haunts me to this day. i began useing drugs and alcohol at the age of 13. i attempted suicde at 21, and after 2wks in a mental institution, ended up in a.a. after 7yrs. in a.a. i studied for 5yrs. with a native american medicine man, trying to get to the bottom of my constant feelings of fear, rage, and distrust. during which i tried to integrate into normal life, by being married and fathering 3 children. i ended up divorced though not because of my wife, i couldn't figure out how to love. i remarried, trying again to integrate into a normal life, while continuing my spiritual work to try and heal my shattered self. of course i,m divorced again and now am alone. my father died unexpectedly, 12-21-05! ironic! that was the catylast that propelled me into an awakening! i began taking better care of myself. lost 45lbs, ate much better, and had an operation to fix a herniated embylical.(no 2nd chakra blockadge there! lol!) a year after my father died to the day! this past year has been full of events that have further activated my spiritual self. my heart opened 9-22-07. for the first time in my life i experienced love! this was the turning point in my life! after returning from the expo in feb, after attending david's post conference workshop, i noticed a very strange sensation. i now feel others energy. what a beautiful gift. i've always felt i've had a mission to complete here. i just had to learn to forgive myself for the realization to take place. i am a wanderer. i don't know from where i came. i do know i have a purpose being here. my intuition has blossomed, and now nothing gives me more joy in life then to encourage and love people for who and what they are. for me the realization really hit home while i read "a wanderers handbook" written by carla rueckert, availible for free from l/l research. the law of one series of 5 books i also highly recomend. my life is transforming daily. it is a priviledge and a true blessing for me to be of service, not bad for someone who has wanted to die most of their life. it's not always easy either. as i write this i have been experiencing night terrors for 3 nights now. i also have regularly occuring migranes as i continue to work through the blockages of the 6th chakra, and try to keep the lower ones open. it is a process. a beautiful, though sometimes painful one. please forgive yourselves! know that we are all beautiful, wonderful, important souls who need to be here in order to aid in the upcoming events. trust that we can all realize how are each unique, individual gifts can aid in the transformation process we have chosen to be a part of. this is truely the most fantastic time to incarnate here. may i send much love and encouragement to all fellow wanderers! we are needed. we also have legions of help to provide us support in our task. bless you all, and even though i'm alone in wisconsin, i'm at home with my fellow brothers and sisters of sorrow. thank you everyone. your's in service, doug

yes. i too feel other peoples' energy but i don't, at the moment, consider it a blessing. so much of what i receive is like static. it makes me tired.

is there a way to control this without drug abuse or alcohol??

[mr.supervideogoodfd]

hey foosnik, how ya be buddy? for me and i can only speak for me, meditation has aided in keeping the self open. i realized, from the start, this is a gift. if i run around acting like a jerk with it, it will be taken away. or more appropiatly i will take it away from myself. sometimes it gets extremely overwhelming. the more sensitive i become, the more influx of intensity, or catylistic energy seems to be atracted. i am going thru a event right now. it seems to me lessons on trusting myself, forgiving myself, honoring my desire to be of service to others. for myself, i do not advocate the use of drugs or alcohol as a means of controling the energy. i think it is best to focus on balancing the self. sometimes we are offered glimpses into our capabilites before we are balanced enough to be able to function with them. not to worry. focus on the inner work. focus on the ra teachings, for that is a nice blueprint to do the inner work. sometimes this spirtual work is very uncomfortable. just because i cured the outer, physical, manifestation, of my 2nd chakra blockage, (herniated embylical) does not mean the spiritual blockadge has been removed. that work has only just begun. please be patient with yourself. it will come, in the meantime recognize how to take good care of yourself. i do think it's ok to take care of ourselves in order to be the best possibly tuned instrument to play the song! peace, and love to all, your's in service...... doug

[Vobomei]

yes. i too feel other peoples' energy but i don't, at the moment, consider it a blessing. so much of what i receive is like static. it makes me tired.

is there a way to control this without drug abuse or alcohol??

its just horrible sometimes isnt it? there are lots of techniques for dealing with this. i bought some books about it, but they did not do much for me. but from what i understand there are some nice stuff that can be done with visualizations.

the best way i found to solve this is to focus on my own energy and try to unlock my own knots in my system, not theirs. so i guess its also a matter of directing perception. taking control in a way. works well for me in a setting with few people if they are not too static. going to a mall or similar, is always drainage for me though.

anupama

[eskimosik]

this is my first post, ever on any forum, not sure what to do but am willing to learn. i guess write what i wish to say then send! i discovered david w 3 years ago, whilst in america, i was so excited about his work and his channelings. inspired, so much of what he said echoed from my own inner being. i have been checking into divine cosmos ever since and always find it a place to realign myself. my life has also been full of what i can only call alienating experiences. always on the outside, finding it difficult to interact, born into a crazy family who daily confirmed my inner/outer fears. began intoxicating my system at 15. huge relief, it felt so natural also the veil drugs and alcohol created enabled me to interact (so i thought!) this escapism lasted solidly for 12 years. at 27 realsied i was infact still alive. i made many changes, learnt about natural health, numerous ephinys, i still love the feeling of my first major realization and experience that i am infact a being of light! here to learn to love myself and serve, assist. but my o my what a journey, and it continues. i find within myself i have an inner turmoil that is still so present, its like an inertia, which no matter how hard i try to shake it off it returns, like waves. within this inetia is self destruction which the moment i become a little placid manifests itself in drinking, smoking, general abuse. why o why when i know the truth do i do this to myself?!

[irresseni]

hey foosnik, how ya be buddy? for me and i can only speak for me, meditation has aided in keeping the self open. i realized, from the start, this is a gift. if i run around acting like a jerk with it, it will be taken away. or more appropiatly i will take it away from myself. sometimes it gets extremely overwhelming. the more sensitive i become, the more influx of intensity, or catylistic energy seems to be atracted. i am going thru a event right now. it seems to me lessons on trusting myself, forgiving myself, honoring my desire to be of service to others. for myself, i do not advocate the use of drugs or alcohol as a means of controling the energy. i think it is best to focus on balancing the self. sometimes we are offered glimpses into our capabilites before we are balanced enough to be able to function with them. not to worry. focus on the inner work. focus on the ra teachings, for that is a nice blueprint to do the inner work. sometimes this spirtual work is very uncomfortable. just because i cured the outer, physical, manifestation, of my 2nd chakra blockage, (herniated embylical) does not mean the spiritual blockadge has been removed. that work has only just begun. please be patient with yourself. it will come, in the meantime recognize how to take good care of yourself. i do think it's ok to take care of ourselves in order to be the best possibly tuned instrument to play the song! peace, and love to all, your's in service...... doug

yes you are right. it is a gift. but i just feel so sad that all the people around me, that i look up to, have died or committed suicide in some form or fashion. both my grandfathers and my father have all committed suicide. bob marley, john lennon, martin luther king, jimi hendrix. they have all died prematurely. i don't want to die like them. i guess i am just reaching out for some advice.

i don't want to go that route and i retreat inside myself and meditate very often but i still have to go out and make a living for myself. i cannot feed my family on meditation alone.

i realize that all of this is about learning how to control yourself and learning how to control where you are focusing your energy. but it is not only me who is directing energy. it is all of us.

i cannot do it alone.

its just horrible sometimes isnt it? there are lots of techniques for dealing with this. i bought some books about it, but they did not do much for me. but from what i understand there are some nice stuff that can be done with visualizations.

the best way i found to solve this is to focus on my own energy and try to unlock my own knots in my system, not theirs. so i guess its also a matter of directing perception. taking control in a way. works well for me in a setting with few people if they are not too static. going to a mall or similar, is always drainage for me though.

anupama

god, i am trying to find the words to express it. like you said, it is horrible.

yes, i have tried to just take care of me and only me but it becomes, to me, like "damage control". i must interact with society to put food on the table. to interact with our society equals a whole lot of meditation, if you know what i mean.

i don't want to go out like all of my fathers and die. both my grandfathers and my father were great, sensitive people but were they selfish to take their own lives? the last thing i want to be is selfish.

thank you for your support.

this is my first post, ever on any forum, not sure what to do but am willing to learn. i guess write what i wish to say then send! i discovered david w 3 years ago, whilst in america, i was so excited about his work and his channelings. inspired, so much of what he said echoed from my own inner being. i have been checking into divine cosmos ever since and always find it a place to realign myself. my life has also been full of what i can only call alienating experiences. always on the outside, finding it difficult to interact, born into a crazy family who daily confirmed my inner/outer fears. began intoxicating my system at 15. huge relief, it felt so natural also the veil drugs and alcohol created enabled me to interact (so i thought!) this escapism lasted solidly for 12 years. at 27 realsied i was infact still alive. i made many changes, learnt about natural health, numerous ephinys, i still love the feeling of my first major realization and experience that i am infact a being of light! here to learn to love myself and serve, assist. but my o my what a journey, and it continues. i find within myself i have an inner turmoil that is still so present, its like an inertia, which no matter how hard i try to shake it off it returns, like waves. within this inetia is self destruction which the moment i become a little placid manifests itself in drinking, smoking, general abuse. why o why when i know the truth do i do this to myself?!

for your first post it is a great one and it is deeply appreciated by me. at 30 i realize that i am still alive and i want to stay that way.

i find within myself i have an inner turmoil that is still so present, its like an inertia, which no matter how hard i try to shake it off it returns, like waves. within this inetia is self destruction which the moment i become a little placid manifests itself in drinking, smoking, general abuse. why o why when i know the truth do i do this to myself?! damn !! well said man, well said. i totally agree with you here.

like i said up above this it is not up to only you and me. it is up to all of us.

[addyta.org]

i've never been on a forum before, i don't know what i'm doing. what is a thread? and how do you work a smilie? when i send this off, where will i go to see if i get any replies? that was a silly question, because when i get there i will then know. anyway, i spent all last night until 6am watching a long youtube interview with dw and then spent all of today doing the same. needless to say i am impressed. when i got on the forum i was drawn to the wanderer topic, because that is exactly how i would describe myself. i've had cosmic consciousness experiences since i was little, never felt i fit in, was very attracted to the stars and spend my life travelling.

i'm now in south korea, teaching english in a small private school, and since hooking up the internet in my apartment, have had a great time watching all those great videos about all the topics dw talks about, he seems to incorporate all the topics. now i would like to be able to branch out a bit and connect with kindred spirits, so here i am, i guess i'll figure it out as i go along. good to be here!

[Hitfaromarf]

i find within myself i have an inner turmoil that is still so present, its like an inertia, which no matter how hard i try to shake it off it returns, like waves. within this inetia is self destruction which the moment i become a little placid manifests itself in drinking, smoking, general abuse. why o why when i know the truth do i do this to myself?! i can absolutely relate to this. except my self destruction takes on other forms-
negative thinking, etc.