[ExelePlavisseu]

I didn't put it in the PSD forum because I think this was either a dweller experience or a thoughtform, but I'll share some of it anyway.

Last night I read some of the latest Harry Potter to my son. I read the part about what happened to Snape and what Harry saw in the pensieve (don't want to spoil it to anyone, so am being vague on purpose.) Let's say that it was a dramatic section.
Then I went to sleep angry because my hubby was installing a computer in the office late at night and I was mad at him. 'Nuff said.

This morning I was dreaming there was an intruder in the room. The intruder, who I recognized and thought he shouldn't be there (doesn't live in the same state as me) walked in the room. I was paralyzed, and asked him what he was doing in my room. He came in and sat on top of me, one knee on my neck, mostly immobilizing me. At this point it was a dream. I tried to defend myself, so I looked for something to use to get him off me (he was very tall.) Let's just say that the attack went from forceful to sexual and I felt he was going to rape me. I started to try to scream but my voice made no sound, as he had one knee on my throat, and he was kneeling on me. I woke up, disturbed, and saw I was alone. I then realized it was a dream, so I started to fall asleep again. As I started to go out again, I could feel the paralysis enveloping me, slowly, from feet to my neck. As I went out, he came back. He came back in from the left, but this time I could see that he was not who I thought he was, then thought 'dweller' phenomenon. At this point of semilucidity I knew I was creating him, but at the same time couldn't stop him from coming. Now he looked like a very tall teenager with long, stringy black hair. He was at the minimum over 6'4" tall or more and very muscular. (Sorry, I don't know what that is in metric, but it is tall.) So I decided to take another tack, and it was to try to 'go' to him, since I thought at this point he was my projected double manifested as someone scary and big. As he got closer I felt a discernible, almost tactile feeling of fear, visceral, and not logical. I knew I was causing it, but it was almost like having a headache, in other words, you know it's in your head, but you can't make it go away, and you can't think straight because of it. So I started to try to scream when he sat next to me (on the right side) and started to hold me down. As he did this I decided to try to manifest a weapon. I manifested a fork or knife, and stabbed him. I could see no blood because he was dark- almost like there was a shadow over him. As I stabbed him with the only arm I had free (he had resumed his sitting-over-me position) and had me pinned down, his left knee on my neck, sitting on my torso, left hand holding my right hand- I stabbed him with my left hand. He dissappeared and I was upset that I had possibly attacked my own projectable double. With this thinking I woke up again, it was almost light out now, and I started to go out again. Once again, the same scenario. I start to become paralyzed, he comes in, sits on my right and this time I start to fight the paralysis, but this time I didn't want to attack him physically, I wanted to manifest light. Well, in my paralysis he started to throw a sandlike powder over my eyes, and when I saw him he looked uber-creepy- the same stringlike long hair, but now his face was really horror-movie scary, almost 'Linda Blair-Exorcist' ugly, looking more like a smiling corpse. I really tried to manifest light, but between the sand in my eyes, the fear effect and his appearance I couldn't concentrate, so I got really angry and even though I couldn't scream for help, I could yell at him to get out of my house-' he didn't have anyone's permission to be there', get out of my house, etc, and then I started performing my own kind of exorcism- then I woke up again. So this time I got up and sat in my recliner and attempted to project to see who this joker really was (if someone other than me.) Of course by then I was too awake and mad, and then it was time to get up.
I don't have to say that I did some countermeasures this morning after my nap, and plan to do more.
Jeezum Crow!

[XKAgustin]

Yuk, what an experience! The repetition of the scenario reminded me of the simulations Robert Monroe experienced in "Far Journeys." (I've only just read the middle book for the first time.)

In one scenario he has to land a plane on a rooftop in order to make an appointment on time. It keeps going wrong until he improvises and states he's called the appointment off. Then the test gets harder, his dog is run over and half crushed under a car. He responds by taking responsibility and euthanasing the dog and he has succeeded in that test. Each time the test seems to be to overcome extreme emotion and solve the problem with compassion or reason. The tests are often unpleasant.

Of course, RM had the benefit of his discussions with the INSPECS. Still, the scenarios were very real to him and he often responded with distress and anger before he got it right.

[ExelePlavisseu]

Hmm thanks for this perspective, Beekeper. I didn't connect it at all. Time to think...
I hope I passed the test 'cause I don't want to do this again.

[duceswild]

This reminds me of a very vivid and intense episode of sleep paralysis I had once.... It started out as a nightmare. A killer in the house and I was running from him. However he eventually cornered me in a bedroom. I fell over the bed he started to approach me with a knife. I was paralysed and that complete terror you can get in nightmares.

At this point, I became aware that I was in Sleep Paralysis. 9 years of constant Paralysis has given me an acute awareness of the feeling. However this was the first time that I was aware of it and still struggling with a dream. It was a very scary experience and I feel for you.

A lot of the things you describe happend to me. The inability to scream, move, sort of in a terror-shock with a man attacking you. I didn't belive he was going to do anything but rape me, but then again, nobody wants to rape a 270lb. college football player.

[Smittoh]

Each time the test seems to be to overcome extreme emotion and solve the problem with compassion or reason. The tests are often unpleasant.

I believe I had such a lesson once, in a dream. I was threatened to the extreme to corrupt myself and sell drugs on the street and was threatened with murder, humiliation and rape.

It felt real in its own way and yet not. It felt rather lucid and yet not.

I was totally despaired. I knew no other outcome, no pushing for a later resolution, no running away. No way to fight out.

I absolutely refused and was aware of the consequences. Fully. I was screaming resistance in my mind when I woke up.

When I registered it had been an experience of "another kind" I felt elated. I had not felt before I could react like that on the breaking point. It had reality, because I had reacted to a situation that felt real.

Oliver

[jhfkgkfdvjk]

What a nasty experience, hope you have recovered from it, CFTraveller , & everyone else who had such encounters. I am intrigued to learn that this sort of thing can be a lesson - years ago I awoke paralysed with fear, to see an enormous "bat" wing above me, sort of coming out of the wall as if half the creature were hidden in the other room. I later attributed it to retribution from an unpleasant self-styled "wizard" I had unintentionally offended; but I realise now maybe it was actually a lesson!

What sort of lessons would this sort of thing teach one? How to overcome fear? Psychic self-defence? And how would one distinguish between a self-generated attacker and a "teaching aid" entity . . . . . . ? (Edit: Fool that I am, I see Beekeper actually did answer this question already! Ignore me!! This comes of rushing through the forum)

[Smittoh]

Tricky, sono, tricky.

I identify mine only as lesson because afterward I thought I learned something vital about myself.

Oliver

[ExelePlavisseu]

What a nasty experience, hope you have recovered from it, CFTraveller , & everyone else who had such encounters. I am intrigued to learn that this sort of thing can be a lesson - years ago I awoke paralysed with fear, to see an enormous "bat" wing above me, sort of coming out of the wall as if half the creature were hidden in the other room. I later attributed it to retribution from an unpleasant self-styled "wizard" I had unintentionally offended; but I realise now maybe it was actually a lesson!

What sort of lessons would this sort of thing teach one? How to overcome fear? Psychic self-defence? And how would one distinguish between a self-generated attacker and a "teaching aid" entity . . . . . . ? (Edit: Fool that I am, I see Beekeper actually did answer this question already! Ignore me!! This comes of rushing through the forum)

In my case all of the above. After the second time I was able to realize all the parts of my experience and transcend them- unfortunately I went from fear to anger to conscience, but I don't think I was able to completely control my reaction.

[Smittoh]

In my case all of the above. After the second time I was able to realize all the parts of my experience and transcend them- unfortunately I went from fear to anger to conscience, but I don't think I was able to completely control my reaction.

Do you really think that is expected? Perfection, I mean. Being able to react without fault? I wouldn't say so...

Oliver

[ExelePlavisseu]

Originally Posted by CFTraveler In my case all of the above. After the second time I was able to realize all the parts of my experience and transcend them- unfortunately I went from fear to anger to conscience, but I don't think I was able to completely control my reaction.

Do you really think that is expected? Perfection, I mean. Being able to react without fault? I wouldn't say so...

Oliver Maybe I'm expecting it from myself? I can be quite difficult, you know.

[Smittoh]

Maybe I'm expecting it from myself? I can be quite difficult, you know.

. o O (I know)

Just kidding! Don't read my thoughts!

Oliver