[Pcodaygs]

I LOVE TO BURN THE FLAG

by Neal Pollack

ONE BEAUTIFUL SUMMER DAY, when I was ten years old, my father called me outside. He was barbecuing ribs in the backyard.


"Son," he said, "there's something I want to give you."


Dad handed me a long cardboard box. I opened it to find a full-sized handmade American flag inside. I pressed it against my face. It felt soft and fresh.


"Dad," I gasped. "This is…incredible!"

"Read the note," he said.

Attached to the box was a little card. "Throw the flag on the grill," it read.

"Very funny, Dad," I said.

"I'm serious, son," he said. "I want you to put the flag on the barbecue."

"But…" I said. "The flag will burn!"

"That's the point," he said.

"I can't burn the flag! It's the symbol of everything our country stands for! My ancestors fought and died for this flag! It represents the hopes and dreams of—"

"Save the grade-school propaganda for later," Dad said. "And do what I say…"


Tears in my eyes, I placed the Star Spangled Banner over the burning coals. Soon, it was completely aflame, red-white-and-blue consumed in a blistering blaze of orange.


Dad had his hand over his heart. He was softly humming God Bless America.


"That's what this country is all about," he said. "That flag is worth nothing if a man can't burn it in his own backyard. It is a sacred American right."


I stared at the wisps of smoke coming off the grill in wonder, and in my heart, knew my dad was right.

After that, my family barbecued at least one flag every year, and I grew to love the ritual. Sometimes the stars would ignite first, sometimes the stripes. Sometimes, the whole thing would go up in a blaze of Old Glory. When it was all done, we'd have a picnic of burgers, fresh corn and cole slaw and laugh well into the night. One summer, all our neighbors came over with their own flags and we had a big community flag bonfire, melting marshmallows over the flames and making s'mores while "Disco Inferno" played on the hi-fi.


When I left home and went to college, I started burning my own flags. My friends and I would spend hours listening to jazz, talking about Russian novels, and burning flags in our dorm rooms. We developed an affectation of wearing tri-cornered hats colored like the flag, and lighting them on fire in the cafeteria.


I became politically active and joined several radical organizations. But when these groups to which I belonged would burn a flag in protest of some U.S. foreign policy or another, my stomach would churn. To me, flag-burning was a private, family affair. It was about friendship and trust. I didn't want it sullied by vitriol, however justified, about the Reagan Administration's incursions into Central America.


Now I hear Republicans in Congress are again threatening to deny Americans one of their most cherished freedoms—burning the flag. I think about my father, older now but still dedicated to crisping a flag in the backyard at least once a year. I think about how I want to raise a family of my own, how I want my sons and daughters to know the pleasure of burning a flag along with their dad. Most of all, I think about the millions of Americans, young and old, rich and poor, black and white, who love burning the flag as much as I do. I urge our senators and congressmen to think about my story before they vote yes for a Constitutional amendment to ban flag-burning. Please don't hurt America's families. Please don't take away our sacred right.


I'll always remember what my father said to me that summer afternoon so many years ago. "Son," he said, his voice constricting into a sob, "there's only one thing more American than burning a flag…and that's choking a bald eagle with your bare hands."

[arrasleds]

Serum's in da house!

That avi looks familiar. I think I know you.

[sesIgnose]

I LOVE TO BURN THE FLAG

by Neal Pollack

ONE BEAUTIFUL SUMMER DAY, when I was ten years old, my father called me outside. He was barbecuing ribs in the backyard.


"Son," he said, "there's something I want to give you."


Dad handed me a long cardboard box. I opened it to find a full-sized handmade American flag inside. I pressed it against my face. It felt soft and fresh.


"Dad," I gasped. "This is…incredible!"

"Read the note," he said.

Attached to the box was a little card. "Throw the flag on the grill," it read.

"Very funny, Dad," I said.

"I'm serious, son," he said. "I want you to put the flag on the barbecue."

"But…" I said. "The flag will burn!"

"That's the point," he said.

"I can't burn the flag! It's the symbol of everything our country stands for! My ancestors fought and died for this flag! It represents the hopes and dreams of—"

"Save the grade-school propaganda for later," Dad said. "And do what I say…"


Tears in my eyes, I placed the Star Spangled Banner over the burning coals. Soon, it was completely aflame, red-white-and-blue consumed in a blistering blaze of orange.


Dad had his hand over his heart. He was softly humming God Bless America.


"That's what this country is all about," he said. "That flag is worth nothing if a man can't burn it in his own backyard. It is a sacred American right."


I stared at the wisps of smoke coming off the grill in wonder, and in my heart, knew my dad was right.

After that, my family barbecued at least one flag every year, and I grew to love the ritual. Sometimes the stars would ignite first, sometimes the stripes. Sometimes, the whole thing would go up in a blaze of Old Glory. When it was all done, we'd have a picnic of burgers, fresh corn and cole slaw and laugh well into the night. One summer, all our neighbors came over with their own flags and we had a big community flag bonfire, melting marshmallows over the flames and making s'mores while "Disco Inferno" played on the hi-fi.


When I left home and went to college, I started burning my own flags. My friends and I would spend hours listening to jazz, talking about Russian novels, and burning flags in our dorm rooms. We developed an affectation of wearing tri-cornered hats colored like the flag, and lighting them on fire in the cafeteria.


I became politically active and joined several radical organizations. But when these groups to which I belonged would burn a flag in protest of some U.S. foreign policy or another, my stomach would churn. To me, flag-burning was a private, family affair. It was about friendship and trust. I didn't want it sullied by vitriol, however justified, about the Reagan Administration's incursions into Central America.


Now I hear Republicans in Congress are again threatening to deny Americans one of their most cherished freedoms—burning the flag. I think about my father, older now but still dedicated to crisping a flag in the backyard at least once a year. I think about how I want to raise a family of my own, how I want my sons and daughters to know the pleasure of burning a flag along with their dad. Most of all, I think about the millions of Americans, young and old, rich and poor, black and white, who love burning the flag as much as I do. I urge our senators and congressmen to think about my story before they vote yes for a Constitutional amendment to ban flag-burning. Please don't hurt America's families. Please don't take away our sacred right.


I'll always remember what my father said to me that summer afternoon so many years ago. "Son," he said, his voice constricting into a sob, "there's only one thing more American than burning a flag…and that's choking a bald eagle with your bare hands."

[verizon]

Dad had his hand over his heart. He was softly humming God Bless


I'll always remember what my father said to me that summer afternoon so many years ago. "Son," he said, his voice constricting into a sob, "there's only one thing more American than burning a flag…and that's choking a bald eagle with your bare hands."

too funny .....

[Dvjkefdw]

Ya know...the proper way to dispose of a flag...and it's traditionally done even if it touches the ground...is burning.

[gusunsuth]

You can burn your koran but not your flag??

Can I burn a copy of the constitution??/

Can I take George Washington's name in vain???

Can I

[Galvanoidum]

You can burn your koran but not your flag??

Can I burn a copy of the constitution??/

Can I take George Washington's name in vain???

Can I

YOU can, but I wouldn't want that on MY butt.

[SarSerceSaice]

If you ever come to visit, best stop @ the grocery store first.........lol

[LypeReexy]

I don't find it particularly funny or relevant to anything in our current reality.

And trust me, I'm the first to LOVE funny.

What I find is it's subtly insightful about, is our idiotic, easily manipulated sacred cows. Or being...'Uhmurukin'.

If there's anything I do KNOW about the country I am born in, is that nothing is scred, ALL is to be questioned, including patriotism. See I LOVE this country, I love it's principle & I love the Constitution but I also love the right to burn EVER G'DAMMED thing it stands for.

That IS why I AM an American.

If you (whomever you are don't get that) That's not my problem.

Don't tread on me asshole.

You Fucking feel me?

Because I am not playing on this flag burning issue. I say ga' head, but damn well KNOW why you are because I will be right behind you ready to BURN YOU.

No matter Whom you are, FEEL ME dawg?

One Muther Fuckin' PROUD American.

Period.

[gydrorway]

American Bald Eagle is delicious.
It tastes a lot like Spotted Owl.
(An Oregon delicacy.)


Mac

[AnriXuinriZ]

Thats good you ppl are now eating them........

I bet if was real rough wiping your butt w/ them.... Ouchhh!!

[ProomoSam]

American flags burn faster and brighter than those other countries flags.

[kranskregyan]

You know I can not recall seeing many other countries flags burn well, or even @ all..........

Everyone likes burning American flags best I guess, we are #1..........

[TorryJens]

You know I can not recall seeing many other countries flags burn well, or even @ all..........

Everyone likes burning American flags best I guess, we are #1..........

Israeli flag usually gets a good dousing, as does other flags when ppl's there oppose annexation, or hegemony.

[Stovegeothnon]

YOU can, but I wouldn't want that on MY butt.

You have that wrong. That is what the Righties masturbate into.

[sharpyure]

Israeli flag usually gets a good dousing, as does other flags when ppl's there oppose annexation, or hegemony.

Yea, I imagine they do a brisk business selling those flags but keep in mind they are only the little satan, we are #1, & don't you forget it

DEATH TO AMERICA, DEATH TO AMERICA