[leangarance]

I wasn't really sure where to post this, but it's just a little bit about my dog, Feel free to add your own description of your dog personality, his/her antics/whatever



This is My beached whale, My coffee table with a head, My Sped, My 'Helmet' dog,My Semi-retarded puppy,My Dork, My attention whore,My idiot.
He enjoys leaving puddles of drool on the floor, or better yet, in your lap, his favorite sports include running head first into walls, furniture, trees, fences and other animals, being bullied by animals smaller than him, Stealing blankets while running through the house and then tripping over them, or being blinded by them and not being able to see, clearing the coffee table with his tail, trying to eat flies, and going ape shit on tree branches, Letting small children ride on him, and maul him...Literately maul him.
He also enjoys making odd noises, weird facial expressions, giving kisses, and acting pathetic so you won't stay mad at him

Dear Ace; Why is it you can pick up a brand new command in an hour but still can't figure out that the husky statue holding the bathroom door open isn't a real dog?

Why is it you can take a beating from small children and other animals, but whine and cry as if i'm killing you, causing the worst pain you've ever felt in your life, when i simply try to cut your nails?

Why is it that i can feed you and 3 minutes later you're carrying your bowl around whining as if you haven't been fed in months?

Why do you spend about 15 minutes licking the floor everyday? Am i missing something? Is my floor really THAT tasty?

Why is it that every time i'm mad at you, you need to wag the very tip of your tail, whine softly and give me the "you're not really all that mad are you?, I love you" eyes? And act like i just ripped your heart out and stomped on it. Which makes it nearly impossible to stay mad at you for any real period of time.

Ace; Will you ever be serious....ever?

Even though you sometimes annoy the hell out of me, and sometimes i think, "Dear god! why on earth would i get this dog" i love you, and despite what i say sometimes, i'm happy to have you in my life.You may be an idiot, but you are MY idiot.

[Figelac]

An adorable idiot and a great testament to how much you love your dog!!!! I love this.

[Nfvzjvcl]

OMG. You seriously just described Torque. Same dorky personality. Except for the getting bullied thing. He's an asshole.

[FYIbiatches]

An adorable idiot and a great testament to how much you love your dog!!!! I love this.

X2 He's a good looking Helmet Dog! Lol

[fectsnanteemy]

LOL he is cute. I don't think the current dogs I have are idiots though.

[iH1wMOhE]

Ace sounds a LOT like Harley! Gotta love a dog who can learn commands so quick but turns around moments later and does something so completely stupid... yup, thats Harley.. gotta love them for it too.

[Adfcvkdg]

Great post, and wow at that head

---------- Post added at 08:39 AM ---------- Previous post was at 08:37 AM ----------

And mouth

[Sotmoigma]

lovable, adorable and forgiveable....

I really enjoy reading your testament to your dog, so many times we read such things when they have become memorials....

Thank you!

[freeringtonesioo]

My idiots:

Rita, otherwise known as RITArd. My armrest. My lap warmer. My 4 footed tranquilizer. My "money Pit" due to her allergies. Any other dog I may have given up on, but not her. In a house that prizes intelligence, this is possibly the dumbest dog ever, but we fight over her because she has the biggest heart. Her eyes pierce you and see everything you are, yet she still loves you with abandon. She shows intelligence only when stalking prey. Then she becomes a freaking genius and will not quit until forcibly removed.

She blinked and got a bug stuck in her eye, making her swell like she went a round w Mike Tyson and making me freak out til we flushed it and found the bug. She has hurt herself on countless household and yard objects because she simply forgot they were there when chasing some rat/bunny/bird.

She thinks that if she sits and them maybe lays down we have to give her what she wants. This includes the opportunity to kill the dog next door. We're out there working on getting her to act less of an ass when he is out by working obedience and showing her we do not approve of the howling, screaming, barking and whining. Meanwhile, she is thinking "If I sit, they have to let me have him!" and shooting us pitiful please eyes.

She is a stingy bitch who takes everyone elses toys and lays on them while chewing hers. She is a junkie who begs for pot and beer. She is one of the loves of my life. She is a badly bred and screwed up dog we took in because I wanted an APBT and she needed a home, but I would seriously hurt someone for her.


---------- Post added at 01:28 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:06 PM ----------

Ike. My mooshy face. My marshmallow. My first "puppywuppykins". My rock. Teacher of new dogs. Keeper of routine. Rock Star who gets emo when people don't stop what they are doing on the street and worship him.

I am not sure how the house would function without Ike. He was hell on wheels as a baby, but at 3 he has become a fine dog! He tells me when any other pet has to go so I can let them all out. He makes sure I feed and water everyone on schedule. He thinks we are responsible for gas and tummy aches and must rub his belly when these things happen. He is the quiet presence at your side when you are really, seriously, depressed and hurt, but could give a rats ass if you are just being a whiner and will even roll his eyes, sigh, and remind you to suck it up. He is everything gentle and loving.

Ike doesn't cuddle unless he means it. He also doesn't cuddle in hot weather because screw that, its hot! He puts his face on your knee when you eat burgers and quietly drools hoping to get a piece. When that fails he will lay at your feet to remind you he is your loyal and loving dog and surely that deserves some beef. He thinks and reasons and I swear he understands English.

He sometimes acts stubborn just because he feels the need to remind you he is a bulldog. He is slow to forgive once his feelings are hurt.

Ike is defective. He is in the smallest end possible for breed standard and much smaller than his parents or littermates. He was supposed to be the guardian of hearth and family, but he just loves people too much to guard anything. He was supposed to be fearless and brave, but flying things, ceiling tiles and nail clippers flip his lid. A stern voice will send him running for the hills. He dashed my dreams of doing PP or Sch.

He is perfect.


---------- Post added at 01:50 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:28 PM ----------

Owen. The dog I didn't really want but, let my husband have because he did. Then I "stole" his dog, lol. Owen and I have a special relationship. We quietly understand each others thoughts and reasons and we approve. He isn't a bully breed, but he sure thinks he is! He is the wet nose at my ankle, the reason I trip when walking, the devoted and yet stubborn dog of my nightmares and dreams. Food and comfort are his only concerns until he goes outside and scent takes over his world and then he is in some special place I cannot follow with my pitiful human nose.

Funny, sweet, loyal, never leaving me alone, always watching to see what I do and trying to figure out why. Great alarm and so very fierce. Determined that his breed, build and other limitations do not cut short his fun or curtail his ability to get into trouble. Lover of bras, underwear and shoes. Reason my house stays clean.

I cannot properly explain Owen because we get each other in a way beyond words. We just are. We orbit each other bound by some strange version of gravity.

I must love him because he ate 3 pairs of my favorite sandals this summer and I let him live.

I can't figure out why he barks and bays when new people come in as if we don't know they are there when we are talking to them, but I am sure there is a reason.

I don't know why he thinks that grabbing a tempting and forbidden object and then running at top speed through the house with gigantic paws pounding hardwood floors will work, but he keeps trying. Maybe he hasn't figured out sound travels and that I know the sound of a delighted dog with one of my things in his mouth.

I don't know why he takes things into the crate that belongs to another dog, but maybe he figures they will get the blame. If so, really dude, I am not that stupid

I never thought I would become so attached to something I used to think of as a useless show breed with too many issues who looks funny and is only good for hunting, but Lord did he change my mind.

His mom must have been Jewish and his dad Catholic, because he can make you feel guilty with a look when you didn't even do anything!


---------- Post added at 01:52 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:50 PM ----------

Renee. Shiny and new. A mystery that will be solved with time when she has grown. Smart and lovable. Energetic. Greeting each moment of each day as something special because she is a baby and everything is new and fun. Perfectly ok with being scolded and told "No!" because there are so many other things to get into!

[sigrekatonov]

Damascus. My RUH RUH Rottweiler. My retard. Mr. D, D-Rock, Damas, and Dumbass. My bad impulse buy dog I didn't really need or want.

You were a nightmare of a puppy. If I didn't already dye my hair, I'm sure by the time your puppyhood was over I'd be grey. The endless screaming, screeching, flailing and growling that came out of your cat carrier at bed time, the endless marking, especially you trying to mark the other dogs. The eating of scrap metal, nails, paper clips, coins, screws, guitar picks, rocks.. I'll never get why you love to eat things that aren't food. If I catch you in the cat box and smack you, you get a boner. You fill my house with the sounds of endless ball slurping. You grunt, groan, whine, growl and warble all the fucking time over nothing. Since you got attacked you've been a total lunatic when it comes to strange dogs, unless I introduce them under my terms, then you're dandy.

But I'm glad in my sleepless deranged state I didn't flush you down the toilet, or snap your neck. Because you have turned out to be an awesome dog. You tag team mole colonies with Lucy, keep to yourself unless we want to mess around with you. You're my sort-of-big dumb goof ball, a dude, a buddy, and my fearless guardian. My pit bull in a miniature Rottweiler body. You have more heart and determination than most dogs I've met. Even after a 2 mile bike ride in the hot summer sun, you whine, pull away and want to keep running when we get to the house while your tongue is dragging on the ground and I don't think you could handle another block. When a shady character comes up to me either in broad daylight or at 2 am, you turn into a growling demon dog and seem to think you're 3 times bigger than you really are, and you're not going to let anyone fuck with me, or ask for a cigarette.

While I may never own another Rottweiler, I have to say I like you a lot pal. But please do me a favor and stop getting boners when I smack you, or when one of the other dogs are in trouble. It's kind of weird.

[dhrishiasv]

Slayer, My purebred Pit Chicken, personal pillow, dork dog, little jerk and Crazy loser. I love you beyond what I can express. I brought you into my life by accident, looking to buy a shepard but instead coming across you in a ratty cardboard box. I knew right away I had a pit bull and people might be angry, but one look at your saucer eyes and I couldnt help it.
You have in the last 5 months, made my life alot more costly, given me tons of scares and slowly became one of my best friends. I often wish you would let me sleep more in the mornings instead of licking my ear though.
I love how with every new sound or sight you hide behind me, or how when Thomas turns on the flashlight you stumble all over the floor trying to get away. I love how without a word I can make hand motions and you will sit and lay down. I dont know if i love how any pillow I rest my head on I suddenly have YOUR head beside me.
There isnt a thing in the world id trade you for now. You are the most faithful and loving companion a girl could want..and..you dont talk back like men do :P

You Cant Tell Me You Would Have Left Her In A Box!!!

[esenesesinas]

Lucy. Lucy Loo. Rucy. Ru Dog. Lu Dog. You're not so much of an idiot as you are a bitch. And a spoiled one at that.

While I was skeptical about getting a puppy when I was waiting for Ethel to be old enough to take home, then dealing with 2 puppies, I had puppy fever already. Neither of us had any idea what we'd be getting ourselves into, or anything about you damn pit bulls. But.. I found the ad, made the call, and before I knew it I found a ride to go check you out. It was love at first sight.

I couldn't have asked for a better starter puppy. Although you tried to rip your daddy's lip ring out the second we got you home, it was smooth sailing from there. You could spend 18 hours napping in my bed with no problem. You had one accident. You took to your crate immediately.

Sure, when you were 10 weeks old and we left you home alone while we went to a funeral you ripped apart a bunch of books, and made a fun mountain on the rug with a big bag of potting soil and a few bags of lizard sand.

And we found out the day we got you that you were a stoner dog, and you were a real slut about it at that.

You act dumb, but I know it's all a ruse. You're slow about coming inside because you hope we'll give up so you can go back to chasing birds and rolling in the dirt and tanning on the driveway. You seem to think if you lay in the living room at meal time, we'll just put the bowl in front of you, not force you into the kitchen where you've always eaten every day of your damn life. You take your sweet time getting off your princess throne lazy boy hoping we'll change our minds and go sit somewhere else. You seem to believe you earn your keep with kisses,and that we want your tongue in our mouths.

You've been the perfect puppy play mate. We let you pick out Ethel. You were Ethel and Dumbass' nanny dog. You spent all your waking moments playing and cuddling with them, and teaching them to be dogs. You're the zoomie and play fight instigator. The stick and ball hog.

You're my lazy bitch. My critter killing machine. My cuddle slut. My hippie dog. The bed hog. You've proven to me that something can be totally badass and brutal, while at the same time be a wet gooey pile of love and neediness.

I didn't know shit about pit bulls when I got you. You were my first APBT, but you won't be my last.

[forextradinginfo]

Dear Ace; Why is it you can pick up a brand new command in an hour but still can't figure out that the husky statue holding the bathroom door open isn't a real dog?

Why do you spend about 15 minutes licking the floor everyday? Am i missing something? Is my floor really THAT tasty?
OMG, I am cracking up so hard! Especially about the statue thing.

BTW, with the exception of my Aussie, all my dogs did the floor licking thing,too. Chloe was the worst.She would walk around the living room licking every inch of the floor for like an hour.

[Shemker394]

Ethel. Oh Ethel, Bumbles, Beast, Buddha Dog.. I don't even know where to begin.

You're ridiculous. You've always been such a reserved, quiet, inconspicuous animal. You either think you're still the 9 pound puppy who could fit anywhere when I got you, or the 110 pound (or more, you act like you're bigger) monster I have the dubious pleasure of feeding and cleaning up after.

You were a dumb puppy. DUMB. You were a fat 9 pound fuzz potato who was incapable of anything. You were slow to grasp commands until your endless hunger started to kick in a few weeks after we got you. During your growth spurts we had to take 5 steps back in potty training, to let you out every 2 hours or you'd crap in front of the garage door. You've eaten me out of house and home. You gained 15 pounds a month. I could literally have you sit in front of me and I swear I could see you getting bigger. You're stubborn as hell. You bark at stray cats that walk by the house. When you sleep in the bathroom and I come in to pee, you jump up and fly out like you're being chased by Satan himself.

You catch bugs, are obsessed with small animals, you get long white hairs EVERYWHERE and leave hair tumbleweeds all over the house even after you've been brushed. I find them in containers I opened 5 seconds ago, in my eyes, I pulled one out of my ear the other day. You're a real possessive bitch when it comes to dogs outside of your circle coming up to me. When you meet a new person, or see an old one, your first reaction is to ram your snout into their crotch. You freeze up and throw your weight into your collar when you find a smell you like and don't want to keep walking.

But you're the regulator. The dog who will drag other dogs away when things get too rough. The one who's not afraid to plow over other dogs, or pop them in the face with your huge paw because even though you mostly watch from the sidelines, you know you're in charge of those turds. Furthermore, you just know you're awesome. Any shouting matches that go on, anytime someone's feeling down, your head is under their hand and you're looking up as if to say "Hey man, it's not that bad, Look at my jowls!".

You're a hell of a dog. It's a shame dogs your size don't live longer. I have to thank those Beethoven movies for convincing me I needed a Saint Bernard.

[happyman]

rofl, she does not look like she actually fits through that door. Can cram herself through, maybe. But not fit.

---------- Post added at 04:05 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:51 PM ----------

When you sleep in the bathroom and I come in to pee, you jump up and fly out like you're being chased by Satan himself.

hairs EVERYWHERE and leave hair tumbleweeds all over the house even after you've been brushed. I find them in containers I opened 5 seconds ago, in my eyes, I pulled one out of my ear the other day.

I wish mine would jump up and run when I got into the bathroom. Instead, they all follow me in there and lay all over the floor in a huge pile making it impossible for me to move. They they proceed to try to sniff inappropriate places on my person.

Hehe, dog hair is a food group. I have gotten to the point when I see dog hair in my coffee or on my plate I just shrug and drink/eat it. How the hell do 4 short haired dogs shed so much and all over everything???

---------- Post added at 04:07 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:05 PM ----------

And no, Slayer, I couldn't have left her in a box. She is super adorable.

[flueftArete]

This thread's hilarious.

[AromeWahmaron]

[QUOTE=MJJean;1011651]rofl, she does not look like she actually fits through that door. Can cram herself through, maybe. But not fit.

---------- Post added at 04:05 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:51 PM ----------



I wish mine would jump up and run when I got into the bathroom. Instead, they all follow me in there and lay all over the floor in a huge pile making it impossible for me to move. They they proceed to try to sniff inappropriate places on my person.

Hehe, dog hair is a food group. I have gotten to the point when I see dog hair in my coffee or on my plate I just shrug and drink/eat it. How the hell do 4 short haired dogs shed so much and all over everything??[/QUOTE]

Oh she fit. She actually always managed to get through there and make less of a commotion doing it than the other dogs (even though that was a JRT door).

[c6vkuNRg]

---------- Post added at 04:07 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:05 PM ----------

And no, Slayer, I couldn't have left her in a box. She is super adorable.

That was the day we got her..I couldnt resist.

---------- Post added at 02:47 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:47 PM ----------

Also..that saint bernard is FUCKING AWESOME.

[Vomekayafboke]

Hi, my name is Jai and i like to pull funny faces.
I love to run laps around the fence line, chase birds and most of all, SLEEP!
I have a special talent, i howl when someone plays a toy accordion, i don't know why i do it but i can't seem to help myself!

[forotis]

I am Niki and my parents are idiots.
I am a spoiled brat, EVERYONE in this house bows to my every whim before they even know they're doing it, oh yeah, I got them all really sussed out. I gve 'em the sad eyes and rest my head on their knees and BOOM I get my jaw scratched and my ears rubbed! When mum and dad get into bed, I jump up and fold my head to the side on the bed right next to them, lowering my front body until I am practically folded in half and then fall down with a big sigh on top of them for my tummy and chest to be scratched.
Mum thinks I am the smartest dumb dog ever, but I prefer to think I manipulate situations. When mum is teaching me new tricks, she uses treats, so I go along with what she says and I get the nummies, yeah mumma! whos the sucker now!!
I love my family, Alex is awesome at playing tug with me and isnt scared to get a little rough, mum gets a little nervous in case I get TOO playful, but I know not to hurt Alex, shes far too useful to me cos shes fun fun FUN!!
Liam plays soccer with me which is great too, cos hes not like mum, he doesnt try and make me drop it or bring the ball back, he just runs around the garden with me laughing. I like the sound of my people laughter, its much nicer than the shouting I used to get.
I have to sleep near mum, even though I've been here for a while and my people assure me I'm not going anywhere, I still dont like sleeping alone, maybe one morning I will get up and I will be all alone in an empty house with no food or water again!
Mum says I am HUGE now, I think thats a good thing, I know I was still a bit skinny when mum and dad picked me up, but I am 67lbs now apparently, and when mum annoys me and wont give me some of her food, I "accidentally" tread on her toes with my full weight, because I LOOK so innocent she cant really say too much...
Oh yeah, I like it here, my family, bless 'em, are the smartest dumb people ever!

---------- Post added at 10:05 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:59 AM ----------

PS: Im adding a picture of her the day we got her, hopefully you can see the difference now