Rescue Dog Situation. Caught between rock and hard place
 

Ok so hypothetically speaking. 2 years ago you helped this elderly couple adopt a dog against your better judgement. Not because they were elderally but you concerns were because of their past track record. But these people are very close to you and swore this time was different and this dog would have a permanent home for life. And because of who they were and the fact you felt they wouldn't lie to you. You trusted them. The issue was they werent in good health which was a concern to the rescue, so you signed signed something as well stating if anything did happen to them that you would be responsible for either taking the pet or returning her to the shelter. Okay so no big deal. So they have been living happily together for the last 2 years.

Well a few weeks ago their son rehomed his dog of several years. f or health and moving reasons, he just couldn't care for her anymore. As soon as they aw how easy it was for him to get rid of her they decided they wanted to get rid of their dog. We will call this dog, Ally. They decided they don't wantto be tied down anymore. They want the freedom to go and do and not worry about a dog. They thought you'd be thrilled over the fact they were trying to find a new home for Ally who mind you has been bounced to 8 different homes in her short life. Despite the fact she is a fantastic dog. Needless to say you are not thrilled, as you volunteer with animal rescue and you put your neck out for these people. However this seemed like a fleeting idea and didn't think much of it at the time. Now they have brought it up 2 more times and you know they are serious. You are seriously disappointed in them and yourself for helping them adopt this dog. You feel responsible for this dog. And ypu know whatever happens to this dog is on you. Worst part is they are using yur child as one of the excuses. Because they babysit for you. They say they will not have that child playing in a yard where a dog poops. Well this child has a dog and plays in a yard where a dog poops. Simple solution pick up the poop. HOWEVER that is just one of many excuses they are using to justify getting rid of the dog.

But them getting rid of the dog IS NOT THE ISSUE, They SIGNED a contract with the rescue that if it didn't work out and they couldn't keep her they would return her to the rescue. When you remind them of this they simply say "We would rather see her go to a home and not back to the rescue. Besides how would they know." This upsets you even more. You have thought about your options. You have tried to get them to sign the dog over to you and inform the rescue and even offer to foster until the rescue finds her a home. Or to simply turn her back oer to the shelter. However if you turn her over you are the one that gets penalized and won't be able to adopt for 5 years. But it doesn't matter because they refuse to sign the dog over to you because they don't want you to have another dog around the child, they feel you shouldn't have the one you have, and because they don't want her turned over to the rescue. You thought about calling the rescue and informing them. But then they will know you are the one that called. You don't want to do anything that is going to ruin your relationship with these people. Afterall they practically raised you and they are the ones caring for your child when you work because you can't afford childcare. And you don't want to make enemies with some of the people you care for the most.

But you feel responsible for this dog and you feel if they don't want her she needs to go back to the rescue. Afterall they did sign a contract. So at this point do you just step back and wash your hands of the matter and pray it all works out? Obviously thw relationship is now strained I mean they lied to you, but at the end of the day you knew better than to try to help them adopt this dog. You are dissapointed and hurt but more so you are concerned for this dog. Do you keep trying to talk sense into them or do you just walk away from the situatipn and save yourself a little bit of sanity?

Hypothetically speaking ofcourse, whats next?

---------- Post added at 12:52 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:46 PM ----------

I guess its pretty obvious by now that this is not a hypothetical

If your relationship is more important than the dog, then there is your answer.
Personally, they dont seem like the kind of people who respect you, or the dog...so me PERSONALLY wouldnt care if they got pissed b/c I called.
If you are the voice of reason and they dont listen to you, then how much respect do they have for you.... "they dont think you should have the dog you have, nor another around YOUR child....." I would say to hell with them....

They dont want the dog, or you to have it, or to return it as they said they would...so I would just call the rescue...tell them to come get it. If the dog means that much to you tell the rescue you will foster it,, if not, at least it will be back at the rescue.

I guess in the end the only question to ask yourself is "how much do I want to please these people"..... and there you have it.

GOOD LUCK!

To me the relationship is more important, as bad as that sounds. But I feel obligated to fix this mess I created or rather helped to create. So I need to find a way to fix this without stepping on any toes. Unfortunately they are of the mindset of many people of their time. Animals belong outside, they feel children and animals don't mesh, and that they are simply property Though being that she is a maltese mix they do keep her inside. However a thought just crossed my mind. Perhaps there is something they aren't telling me regarding the dog. She has never been around kids and she has been around quite a few of the greats lately. I wonder if she has acted negatively or aggresive toward any of them. I'bd like to think though that they would have told me. But its kind of funny that now that I am going back to work they are in a real hurry to get rid of the dog. And it would make sense them not wanting to send her back to rescue if she has shown any aggressive behavior. For fear the dog would e put down. I think I need to talk to them again. I bet that has something to do with it. Its weird they absolutely loved this dog until they found out I got a job. Definately need totalk to them.

Its not bad that a human relationship is more important than the dog, that is natural. Especially since they care for your child. http://www.pitbull-chat.com/images/smilies/wink.png

If the they mean that much to you, then you owe it to them, and yourself, to be completely honest. And ask the same of them. Ask if you can help with something regarding re-homing the dog, what makes them uncomfortable, and so on.

I dont think there is truly a right or wrong here...its really just doing what is within your power, and your willingness to compromise and their ability to empathize with your feelings. The fact they dont want the dog put down is great. Im sure you can work it out. But they need to understand your feelings toward the dog, and remind them of the obligation they signed up for. People getting dogs and them suddenly becoming not worth the effort is a HUGE problem.

Keep us posted.

I would turn them in and wash my hands of it. And ask to be kept anonymous. Even if it meant not adopting for five years.

I would be leery of letting these people around my own dog as well personally.

[QUOTE=monkeys23;906748]I would turn them in and wash my hands of it. And ask to be kept anonymous. Even if it meant not adopting for five years.

I would be leery of letting these people around my own dog as well personally.[/QUOT


And why would you be leery might I ask. Why because they think I shouldn't have a dog around my child. I have news for you everybody and their brother. thinks that. I am the only animal person in my family here (My dad and his family are animal people) and none of my friends like animals, They have them but they are just property or a pet that is kept outside, or a designer dog that is nothing more than accessory to a purse. These are the kind of people I am surrounded by. So it doesn't surprise me when Ihear someone is rehoming their dog. I don't understand it and I don't like it but these same people don't understand why I keep my dog in the house, or why we take her on vacation with us and how she is an important member of the family. So we just have learned to agree to disagree. THese people They are good people. They treated the dog good while in their care its just they cant seem to keep a dog more than a few years before the novelty of it wears off. They aren't cruel. They fed her the best food and gave her the best of everything . They are just old and want the freedom to travel and enjoy their retirement without being tied down by an animal. And believe me I get that. I wish they would have thought about before getting the dog. My only issue here is if they aren't going to keep the dog the dog needs to go back to the rescue as originally agreed upon in the adoption contract. They don't understand that. All they seem to understand is they paid money for the dog so they bought the dog.

I don't know maybe they will never get it. I do know I need to stop worrying about dogs that arent mine but I feel responsible for this one.

For future refference, NEVER trust ANYbody...but ALWAYS trust people to be themselves.

The thing is, we can make a promise, and REALLY mean it...when we said it, but people rarely make one of those 180 personality changes you see in the movies, smiple enough...and unless there was some sort of event that may have caused an epiphany that may have led to a gradual change, you can be sure that virtually ANY human being will behave EXACTLY how they always behave when it comes down to it.

I knew i should have trusted my gut on this one at the time. But it was one of those strange things. You see one of them had a stroke and my dog actually saved his life and after that he wanted a dog. And he has been all about that dog since. However his wife was never too into the dog thing and it seems she is the one that has made this decision like all other decisions. I think after talking to him today he still wants her but she doesn't and its apparently easier to give up the dog than to fight about it.

However it was a bad judgement call on my part to ever get involved. But whats done is done. I simply today told them to require references, a home visit, a vet reference, and a rehoming fee to weed out any people that might be up to no good. If they still decide to rehome her. I am extremely disappointed in them. But I can do no more. I am washing my hands of this situation and walking. Its their dog. Not my dog. Its their dog. Man its hard to just walk away from an animal I feel responsible for. But I have to and I will. And unfortunately I have been dissapointed by humans yet again. But hey what else is new.

"There were pages turned, there were bridges burned, but there were lessons learned" - Carrie Underwood

[quote=SBTlove;906803] Well then if you feel responsible for this one dog, then that is something you are going to have to act upon, or get over it.

If they dont want to do the right thing (in your eyes, and per the contract) despite your pleas, and you want to preserve the relationship...then there is nothing more you can do but let them figure it out for themselves.

And who knows. Letting them personally re-home the dog may end up a better future for the dog.
Ask them to let you help re-home it, so you may feel more comfortable with the family the dog ends up with.
Other than that, move on with it all. =)

[quote=SBTlove;906803] I personally would worry about how a person who is not a dog person would treat my dog if they were around my dog when I was not present. That was what I meant. Sorry if it wasn't more clear.

Yeah, it sucks doesn't it. I am really having doubts as to ever finding anyone I would feel comfortable letting Scout go to even with the scary long application and contract I've drawn up and home check requirement.

If it is in their adoption contract to return the dog, they must legally do so. Are they aware of that?

Now it wasn't in Scout's original contract (that person rehomed her to my friend's mom and then she came to me...) and the original adopter just filled out her part of the microchip Change of Owner form and mailed it to me to do my part and file. She actually sent me money for the fee as well, which surprised me and was very kind of her. But anyway between that and the regular vetting, we're good to go. http://www.pitbull-chat.com/images/smilies/smile.png

[quote=monkeys23;906890] To be honest I don't think they understand it. http://www.pitbull-chat.com/images/smilies/frown.png Then again they claim there is nothing in the contract but I was there when all this was discussed when they adopted her. So I'm pretty sure they agreed upon that. I may be wrong BUT I don't think so. However trying to explain it to them is like trying to explain something to a brick wall or a teenager. They don't seem to get it and reply with "how would they ever know unless one of us informs them." Which I really don't know, but the point is its a legally binding contract. I have explained it to them the best I can now all I can do is hope they do the right thing and take her back to the shelter . And pray she just doesn't end up going to the first person in front of walmart that wants her. I feel like I have done all I can at this point. If I don't walk away from the situation its just going to eat me up.

PS. I don't trust anyone with my dog but myself and my husband. These days you just can't.

If they plain don't care about the law, and plain have no honor when they make an agreement, there's really nothing you can do.

It's disgusting that ANYbody would think it's okay to go back on their word for ANY reason, let alone one as low as "because they wouldn't find out".

Clearly these folks have no sense of honor whatsoever. They promise this time will be different, with no real intention of following through. They promise to return the dog per contract, with no intention of keeping their word.

Don't trust any promises from these people, ever. Obviously they use promises to get what they want, but they are empty through and through.

Sad.

Does the rescue never call or e-mail to check on the dog? Maybe if you called the rescue & told them they should make a call, the owners would take the legality of the contract seriously. Although if the rescue doesn't have any inclination to check on the dog in the first place, then IDK http://www.pitbull-chat.com/images/smilies/frown.png I don't really know how these things work.

In any case, I understand how you feel. I helped a friend get a dog. I thought I did everything I could to make sure they were prepared. But it didn't work out & now I have another dog. Because I felt responsible for the situation. Now I mind my own business when someone says they want to get a pet. Lesson learned.

PS, you all know I love Jinny http://www.pitbull-chat.com/images/smilies/tongue.png

Sounds like you just have to wash your hands of it.

Haha, yeah thats basically how I ended up with Scout. I babysat the RR's while they went to get her, but thats all the help they got from me because I knew it would be a trainwreck. It was actually less of one than I thought, but I still ended up with Scout. Poor sweet ball of issues, gotta love her! http://www.pitbull-chat.com/images/smilies/tongue.png

If they want to get rid of the dog - then help them get rid of the dog by taking the dog (to go back to foster/rescue - not shelter). Sorry you are dealing with this - I think I'd feel obligated to fix it if I helped create it but I understand how complicted things can get...

I had to share, I just got back from their place and they informed me that she is going back to the rescue she came from later today. They called them this morning and the rescue is happy to take her back. I am so relieved

Oh thank goodness.