[Essefsbyday]

It's been about 3mths since I've seen Brandie. Picked up Rubie and Brandie back in Jan at local shelter. Brandie was the dog I originally wanted. Since Rubie was in the same kennel I decided to take both. She only accepted the dogs since I wanted them. I had to get a second residence since the new place we were moving to did not allow two dogs. We split the dogs since it was a lot more work than I anticipated with two dogs in a condo. I mostly took care of Rubie.

Well it been awhile since I've seen Brandie. Will see her today since I have to resolve a matter with ex. I told the ex that when I'm done with school, hopefully a few more weeks, I would like to take Brandie. She refused. I know she takes care of Brandie well, though she's a busy woman, l and they obviously are connected to each other.

At first I was pretty pissed and actually entertained the thought of "stealing" Brandie. Now I just try not to think about it. Well since I'm seeing Brandie today I feel I may cry! Brandie has a good home but I know I can give her much more love.

Advice?

Edit: I'm starting to tear up thinking about this

[Agitoligflise]

Are the adoption papers in your name only? Legally, dogs are property, so if yours is the only name on there, she doesn't have a legal right to keep her.

[agracias]

good point Galadriel.... being as I was going to suggest stealing her!!! lol, I know, I'm sorry, that's not right, but dang! She didn't want the dogs to begin with, now she won't let you have them?? Sounds like she is either a) attached to the dog... which is a good thing, or b) using the dog to hurt you... which is a bad thing! People do stupid things to hurt people... but if they are "your" dogs, they belong with you... man, this sucks!! check into what Galadriel said... who's name are they in? (Dang, sounds like we're talking about a freaking car!)

[bataovady]

If the dog is in a good loving home, maybe it's time to let it go. If your ex is just being a jerk, go get her. (the dog, lol) Good luck!

[agracias]

I've had some bad break ups.... luckily, none of them ever tried to keep my dogs!!! would have been trouble if they had.... I still wanna know who's name the dog is in... if it's in R&B's, she ain't got a leg to stand on.... and, she didn't even want the dogs to begin with, only accepted them because R&B wanted them... they are his freaking dogs.... I only hope they are only in his name in the papers...

[sabbixsweraco]

If the dog is in a good loving home, maybe it's time to let it go. If your ex is just being a jerk, go get her. (the dog, lol) Good luck!

I agree with this.

Also, when the emotions of the breakup settle, see if you and the ex can possibly do some play time with both dogs. Or take turns having both dogs, let's say, for the weekends.

[Eltabaco]

Unfortunately, depending on the state that someone lives in, there are other rules governing this. Court may be an only option and you have to file in small claims.

[Triiooman]

I had a HORRIBLE break up that the dogs were in the middle of. One of them was legally in the guy's name, so I had to leave that dog behind when I was told not-so-politely to get EVERYTHING of mine out of the house we shared within 30 minutes of me getting off work or I would come home to dead dogs!

I tried to pull EVERY string I could, legally, to get that dog... but nothing worked. So, I went the OTHER route.. I sucked up BIG TIME to the ex. Once all the dust had settled, we made amends, realizing that we were better off as friends anyways. Unfortunately, things happened in HIS life to where the dog is staying out of state with family.. but when the pup comes back, I get to see him whenever I want. GIosh, I'm getting all teary thinking about it

I would see what you can work out now. If you're sure the dog is being properly cared for, back off for a little bit until things settle then try talking to her again about seeing the dog more or having the dog for a few weeks at a time.

Unless the dog was adopted in your name - then you have the legal power to take the dog. BUT - think about HER feelings if you do that. Does she really love this dog now? You don't like having the dog kept from you, be the bigger person and don't keep the from her if you're sure she'll cooperate on a schedule.

Good luck!

[epPtsDno]

I had to "steal" a dog from an ex. Here, if you care for the animal for a certain # of days (I think it's 30) and have receipts to back it up, the pet is legally yours.

He wasn't taking care of the dog properly. I won't go into too many details, but the dog had been drunk on several occassions, among other things.

He left for out of state, I kept the dog. He tried to get the dog back, but by then, the dog was legally mine and he couldn't do anything about it.

My other dog, we did visitation for a while and then he found a girlfriend and suddenly didn't have time for the dog anymore, so I ended up with her full time.

[Essefsbyday]

Thanks for the replies. The papers are in my name but at the time I had no cash and she paid for them. I've decided that I will let it go for now. I believe they both have a connection to each other.

Yesterday I went to her place. SHe was still getting ready. Waiting outside I called and asked to bring Brandie out.
She asks, "why?"
My reply, "I want to see my dog."
Her reply, " That's not your dog. That's my dog."
WTF????

Well after waiting about 20min she finally let me see her. Wow I miss her. WHen I left I suggested she could every once awhile she leave her dog at her business office and I could pick her up. That way she doesn't have to see me.
Again she asked , "why?" For now I give up. No more fight in me.
Thanks everyone.

[agracias]

awww... man that sucks!!! She sounds like a cold, heartless b!e-otch... but that's just me. Maybe when things cool down a bit. Sounds like she is using the dog to get to you though.... that's as bad as people using the kids to get to the other parent... sometimes I hate people!

Hang in there and just try to be nice, or at least civil.... Does she want to see the dog you have? Maybe you could (later on) work it out where she could have them both all day on a Saturday so she can spend time with both of them, and vice versa... if she is willing. Women can be hateful when they want to be... but I guess guys can be too... it just depends on who wants to be the bigger @$$ right now...

Let it go for a little bit, then try to talk to her "nicely"... not saying that you aren't right now... but let her cool her jets for now.

Good luck sweetie... I'm hoping for the best for you!!!

[sabbixsweraco]

Thanks for the replies. The papers are in my name but at the time I had no cash and she paid for them. I've decided that I will let it go for now. I believe they both have a connection to each other.

Yesterday I went to her place. SHe was still getting ready. Waiting outside I called and asked to bring Brandie out.
She asks, "why?"
My reply, "I want to see my dog."
Her reply, " That's not your dog. That's my dog."
WTF????

Well after waiting about 20min she finally let me see her. Wow I miss her. WHen I left I suggested she could every once awhile she leave her dog at her business office and I could pick her up. That way she doesn't have to see me.
Again she asked , "why?" For now I give up. No more fight in me.
Thanks everyone.

I personally think that once the initial "bad" feelings are over with, you two might be able to work out a nice schedule where everyone will be happy...dogs too

[Agitoligflise]

Yup. Sounds like she's just being a bitch. We do that sometimes =) Sorry
She'll get tired of walking her...or she'll need to go to the vet...or the new boyfriend will hate the dog...I see you getting your dog back in the future.

[JamesTornC]

So the papers are in your name then?

Even though she paid for them, it's in your name? Is that right? If so, I would reimburse her the adoption fee, through cheque or someway that's traceable, and get the dog back.

That is if the dog is not in as good a care as you could give her and the ex is just being a bitch about it, to be a bitch.

[KRbGA0Bg]

I am sort of dealing with this I have our dog but I am not letting him see our dog right now because I dont want to put the dog thru the excitment of seeing his dad and then an hour later he is gone. I have nothing against my husband and I dont want to keep our dog from him but Idont want to overexcite the dog. Maybe thats what your girlfriend is doing right now. Just another way to look at it

[Qwjyrgij]

I am sort of dealing with this I have our dog but I am not letting him see our dog right now because I dont want to put the dog thru the excitment of seeing his dad and then an hour later he is gone. I have nothing against my husband and I dont want to keep our dog from him but Idont want to overexcite the dog. Maybe thats what your girlfriend is doing right now. Just another way to look at it

Overexcite the dog? It sounds like you're humanizing the dog too much. I'm sure as long as the dog is secure w/ you & trusts you & you treat it well, that it could handle seeing it's "dad" for a day. My dog gets very excited whenever he sees anyone he knows, but he's fine again when they leave. And my bf left yesterday morning to go camping for the weekend. I'll be leaving tonight w/ Debo to go meet him, but Debo had no problem whatsoever last night when his "dad" was gone. JMO

To the OP, R&B, you should tell your ex next time she asks why you want to see the dog, that it's because you still love the dog! Just to play devil's advocate, she could be worried that you will steal the dog, or that you just want to see the dog to see her (although you already offered a plan where she wouldn't have to see you). I guess just try to feel out what she's afraid of (if anything) & try to alleviate those fears. If she's just doing it to be a bitch, well, you can play hardball too if you want. Maybe point out that since the dog is in your name, legally you can take it, but that's not what you want to do.
Good luck!

[KRbGA0Bg]

No I am not humanizing him too much Peanut is still a puppy and I have never seen him react to anyone the way he does with my husband. My husbands car is the only one when he sees or hears it he starts to bark and act like a crazy dog and even one time when my husband came home Peanut and I were on the secod story balcony he heard my husbands voice as he got out of the car and the dog jumped up and if I wasnt standing right where he jumped Peanut was at the top of the 4 foot balcony fence. I am not exaggerating when he sees my husband its a way more excited state then when he sees everyone else. Dont get me wrong he gets excited for everyone but not to the same extreme.
debo-dumbo-ears before you start criticizing someone you dont know you should ask some questions. you dont know everyone's situation and it makes you look bad for saying things about someone without knowing their full story.

[Qwjyrgij]

You don't need to get all defensive. I don't doubt that Peanut has a greater bond w/ your ex than w/ other people besides yourself & that Peanut would get more excited to see him than others. But I still don't think that it would hurt the dog in any way to see him. If he knows you are the leader & is secure w/ you, he won't be "confused" or "scared" or anything else when your ex leaves after visiting. If you shelter your dog too much, he may be more nervous & unsure in unfamiliar situations when he gets older. Again, JMO.

No I am not humanizing him too much Peanut is still a puppy and I have never seen him react to anyone the way he does with my husband. My husbands car is the only one when he sees or hears it he starts to bark and act like a crazy dog and even one time when my husband came home Peanut and I were on the secod story balcony he heard my husbands voice as he got out of the car and the dog jumped up and if I wasnt standing right where he jumped Peanut was at the top of the 4 foot balcony fence. I am not exaggerating when he sees my husband its a way more excited state then when he sees everyone else. Dont get me wrong he gets excited for everyone but not to the same extreme.
debo-dumbo-ears before you start criticizing someone you dont know you should ask some questions. you dont know everyone's situation and it makes you look bad for saying things about someone without knowing their full story.

[KRbGA0Bg]

I appreciate your post Debo-dumbo-ears but it is mostly at my husbands request he doesnt want the dog to get excited to see him when he wont be staying.

[Qwjyrgij]

I appreciate your post Debo-dumbo-ears but it is mostly at my husbands request he doesnt want the dog to get excited to see him when he wont be staying.

well, if that's what he wants, then you can't force him. It's probably hard for him to see Peanut.