Friday Funnies - DiscussWorldIssues - Socio-Economic Religion and Political Uncensored Debate

**Beerinkol** · 03-23-2012, 03:34 PM

Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antartica, where do they go ? Well, wonder no more! It's a known fact that the penquin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life. The penguin is very committed to its family and mates for life, as well as maintaining a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life. If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface ,other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice using their vestigal wings and beaks ,until the hole is big enough for the dead bird to be rolled into and buried . The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing............................, freeze a jolly good fellow ,freeze a jolly good fellow.

**LottiFurmann** · 03-23-2012, 04:23 PM

See, with the forums set out like this, we only need _one_ FF thread, and then people don't have to wait until Friday to add to it...

Unfortunately I only know rude jokes... so I wont contribute just yet...

**tgs** · 03-23-2012, 05:33 PM

Its also good to see that the quality remains unchanged from the old to the new...

**Drugmachine** · 03-24-2012, 09:55 AM

I met a girl in the park the other day. There was an instant spark between us.
She got down on her knees, then laid down in the grass before me.
As we laid there making love, I thought…

…These taser guns are worth every cent.

**S.T.D.** · 03-24-2012, 10:00 AM

Kingy.----> to deviant art.

**LottiFurmann** · 03-25-2012, 05:57 AM

LOL, Kingy

**tgs** · 03-25-2012, 07:40 AM

**NeroASERCH** · 03-26-2012, 05:01 AM

See, with the forums set out like this, we only need _one_ FF thread, and then people don't have to wait until Friday to add to it...

Except that you'll have to change the thread title ... we can't have a First Friday Funnies thread every week.

**radikal** · 03-26-2012, 11:18 AM

Call it a hunch, but I'm pretty sure I have an abnormal convex curvature of the upper spine.

**PhillipHer** · 03-27-2012, 03:12 AM

Dam it!

**NeroASERCH** · 03-27-2012, 05:59 PM

Yes, I never gave it any thought when I posted. Anyway, attention moderators. You can change it to whatever you want. Doesn't bother me!

**9mm_fan** · 03-27-2012, 08:36 PM

A blond is watching the news and hears that 2 Brazilian men died in a skydiving accident. she cries and says, "Oh my gosh, how many is a Brazilian?

**Fegasderty** · 03-30-2012, 04:45 PM

Thought the Brazilian joke was going somewhere different, which threw me for a moment.

A site I loved back in the 90's while I was working for a corporation where management liked to post those corny motivational posters around the offices:
http://www.despair.com/viewall.html

This one reminded me of a less than useless housemate..
laziness.jpg

**Peptobismol** · 03-30-2012, 05:29 PM

As a Piper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a Pauper's' cemetery in the backcountry. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions.

I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the Diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the Side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in Place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play.

The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I've never played before for this homeless man.

And as I played 'Amazing Grace,' the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.....
.
.
.

As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say; "I NEVER SEEN NOTHIN' LIKE THAT BEFORE AND I'VE BEEN PUTTING IN SEPTIC TANKS FOR TWENTY YEARS." ......Apparently I'm still lost, it's a man thing.[/quote]

**Big A** · 03-30-2012, 08:16 PM

http://www.news.com.au/weird-true-fr...-1226314371506

FRANK COSTANZA: Million to one shot doc, a million to one!

**doctorzlo** · 03-30-2012, 08:37 PM

**tgs** · 03-31-2012, 11:28 PM

**Fegasderty** · 03-31-2012, 11:32 PM

**doctorzlo** · 04-03-2012, 08:07 AM

http://www.rinkworks.com/dialect/

Changes web pages into one of several dialects including "Fudd" and "Jive". Was running though the forums in "Redneck" and came across Carmen Santiago's signature:

Whut in tarnation does we want? - "Space Hour! Fry mah hide!"
When does we're hankerin' it? - "Now! Fry mah hide!"
Whar does we're hankerin' it? - "On over thar in thet co'ner, yeah, behind th' pot plant. Thanks."

LOL

**MannoFr** · 04-14-2012, 12:00 AM

Is Friday. Is good.

03-23-2012, 03:34 PM	#1
Beerinkol Join Date Dec 2006 Posts 5,268 Senior Member	Friday Funnies Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antartica, where do they go ? Well, wonder no more! It's a known fact that the penquin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life. The penguin is very committed to its family and mates for life, as well as maintaining a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life. If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface ,other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice using their vestigal wings and beaks ,until the hole is big enough for the dead bird to be rolled into and buried . The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing............................, freeze a jolly good fellow ,freeze a jolly good fellow. Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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03-23-2012, 04:23 PM	#2
LottiFurmann Join Date Jan 2008 Posts 4,494 Senior Member	See, with the forums set out like this, we only need _one_ FF thread, and then people don't have to wait until Friday to add to it... Unfortunately I only know rude jokes... so I wont contribute just yet... Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

03-23-2012, 05:33 PM	#3
tgs Join Date Mar 2007 Age 48 Posts 5,125 Senior Member	Its also good to see that the quality remains unchanged from the old to the new... Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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03-24-2012, 09:55 AM	#4
Drugmachine Join Date Apr 2006 Posts 4,490 Senior Member	I met a girl in the park the other day. There was an instant spark between us. She got down on her knees, then laid down in the grass before me. As we laid there making love, I thought… …These taser guns are worth every cent. Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

03-24-2012, 10:00 AM	#5
S.T.D. Join Date May 2008 Age 42 Posts 5,220 Senior Member	Kingy.----> to deviant art. Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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03-25-2012, 05:57 AM	#6
LottiFurmann Join Date Jan 2008 Posts 4,494 Senior Member	LOL, Kingy Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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03-25-2012, 07:40 AM	#7
tgs Join Date Mar 2007 Age 48 Posts 5,125 Senior Member	Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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03-26-2012, 05:01 AM	#8
NeroASERCH Join Date Jul 2006 Posts 5,147 Senior Member	See, with the forums set out like this, we only need _one_ FF thread, and then people don't have to wait until Friday to add to it... Except that you'll have to change the thread title ... we can't have a First Friday Funnies thread every week. Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

03-26-2012, 11:18 AM	#9
radikal Join Date Oct 2005 Age 54 Posts 4,523 Senior Member	Call it a hunch, but I'm pretty sure I have an abnormal convex curvature of the upper spine. Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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03-27-2012, 03:12 AM	#10
PhillipHer Join Date Jun 2008 Age 58 Posts 4,481 Senior Member	Dam it! Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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03-27-2012, 05:59 PM	#11
NeroASERCH Join Date Jul 2006 Posts 5,147 Senior Member	Yes, I never gave it any thought when I posted. Anyway, attention moderators. You can change it to whatever you want. Doesn't bother me! Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

03-27-2012, 08:36 PM	#12
9mm_fan Join Date May 2007 Age 53 Posts 5,191 Senior Member	A blond is watching the news and hears that 2 Brazilian men died in a skydiving accident. she cries and says, "Oh my gosh, how many is a Brazilian? Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

03-30-2012, 04:45 PM	#13
Fegasderty Join Date Mar 2008 Posts 5,023 Senior Member	Thought the Brazilian joke was going somewhere different, which threw me for a moment. A site I loved back in the 90's while I was working for a corporation where management liked to post those corny motivational posters around the offices: http://www.despair.com/viewall.html This one reminded me of a less than useless housemate.. laziness.jpg Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

03-30-2012, 05:29 PM	#14
Peptobismol Join Date Oct 2005 Age 58 Posts 4,386 Senior Member	As a Piper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a Pauper's' cemetery in the backcountry. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the Diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the Side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in Place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play. The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I've never played before for this homeless man. And as I played 'Amazing Grace,' the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full..... . . . As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say; "I NEVER SEEN NOTHIN' LIKE THAT BEFORE AND I'VE BEEN PUTTING IN SEPTIC TANKS FOR TWENTY YEARS." ......Apparently I'm still lost, it's a man thing.[/quote] Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

03-30-2012, 08:16 PM	#15
Big A Join Date Oct 2005 Age 50 Posts 4,148 Administrator	http://www.news.com.au/weird-true-fr...-1226314371506 FRANK COSTANZA: Million to one shot doc, a million to one! Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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03-30-2012, 08:37 PM	#16
doctorzlo Join Date Jun 2006 Posts 4,488 Senior Member	Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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03-31-2012, 11:28 PM	#17
tgs Join Date Mar 2007 Age 48 Posts 5,125 Senior Member	Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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03-31-2012, 11:32 PM	#18
Fegasderty Join Date Mar 2008 Posts 5,023 Senior Member	Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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04-03-2012, 08:07 AM	#19
doctorzlo Join Date Jun 2006 Posts 4,488 Senior Member	http://www.rinkworks.com/dialect/ Changes web pages into one of several dialects including "Fudd" and "Jive". Was running though the forums in "Redneck" and came across Carmen Santiago's signature: Whut in tarnation does we want? - "Space Hour! Fry mah hide!" When does we're hankerin' it? - "Now! Fry mah hide!" Whar does we're hankerin' it? - "On over thar in thet co'ner, yeah, behind th' pot plant. Thanks." LOL Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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04-14-2012, 12:00 AM	#20
MannoFr Join Date Mar 2007 Posts 4,451 Senior Member	Is Friday. Is good. Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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