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Old 04-05-2009, 06:23 PM   #21
Quick$bux

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But how long Moose? How long did it take her? I assume you are talking about her father?

And remember......everyone isn't the same. Mary belongs to a very select few....I guess you could argue that Jelena is free of her father now...but look how long it took her and the cost
Mary got a restraining order against Jim in 1993, when she was 18. Of course, she likely had help from the WTA/other resources, but she stood up to him. I also understand that they have mended some fences since that time.

You never heard Mary crying to the press "oh, my story is so difficult. It's the worse ever". That's my big problem with Jelena's latest interview. Everyone's got issues, Missin'. It's how you respond to the hand life has dealt you.

Someone like Jelena, who had the financial resources, and the right people available to overcome what was clearly a traumatic and harsh childhood, should, at 26 years old, be talking about how she moved beyond her demons and doesn't carry around the luggage of her past, rather than focusing on how bad she had it.
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Old 04-05-2009, 06:42 PM   #22
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I feel like Dokic is years behind. I would imagine that her father's abuse (whatever form it took, there was clearly abuse, probably of multiple kinds) set her behind on a lot of levels... developmentally, emotionally, etc. And she also lost several years of tennis as things unfolded.

If you look at this story from that perspective, then maybe it puts it within a little more context. Then maybe a few years from now she'll be talking about it in the way we'd like to hear her talk about it today.

In other words, what's she's saying is a perfectly normal reaction... But it's a phase of the healing process that many might have expected a few years back.

I'm fairly certain I'm not making any sense at all. I'm going to shut up now.
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Old 04-05-2009, 06:43 PM   #23
hacyOrgachbic

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Mary got a restraining order against Jim in 1993, when she was 18. Of course, she likely had help from the WTA/other resources, but she stood up to him. I also understand that they have mended some fences since that time.

You never heard Mary crying to the press "oh, my story is so difficult. It's the worse ever". That's my big problem with Jelena's latest interview. Everyone's got issues, Missin'. It's how you respond to the hand life has dealt you.

Someone like Jelena, who had the financial resources, and the right people available to overcome what was clearly a traumatic and harsh childhood, should, at 26 years old, be talking about how she moved beyond her demons and doesn't carry around the luggage of her past, rather than focusing on how bad she had it.
If she hasn't moved past, she's still carrying. If she is just beginning to speak of it...if her healing is just beginning, we owe her that respect. And....who says she had the finanacial resorces? Abusers who have emotional control often exert control over the finances of their victims also.....Jelena wasn't a US citizen...the laws of our country didn't protect her.....it is not unreasonable to think that maybe all the resources available to abused women and children in this country are not necessairly available in other countries...consider where she was from. Even after she separated from her father, Jelena spent many many years dead broke.....

Consider this. Mary Pierce is a classy caring mature lady. What do you think she would say to us (the fans) about Jelena's situation?
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Old 04-05-2009, 06:45 PM   #24
hacyOrgachbic

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I feel like Dokic is years behind. I would imagine that her father's abuse (whatever form it took, there was clearly abuse, probably of multiple kinds) set her behind on a lot of levels... developmentally, emotionally, etc. And she also lost several years of tennis as things unfolded.

If you look at this story from that perspective, then maybe it puts it within a little more context. Then maybe a few years from now she'll be talking about it in the way we'd like to hear her talk about it today.

In other words, what's she's saying is a perfectly normal reaction... But it's a phase of the healing process that many might have expected a few years back.

I'm fairly certain I'm not making any sense at all. I'm going to shut up now.
Thanks dry. This is absolutely putting it into a good perspective.
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Old 04-05-2009, 07:06 PM   #25
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Mary got a restraining order against Jim in 1993, when she was 18. Of course, she likely had help from the WTA/other resources, but she stood up to him. I also understand that they have mended some fences since that time.

You never heard Mary crying to the press "oh, my story is so difficult. It's the worse ever". That's my big problem with Jelena's latest interview. Everyone's got issues, Missin'. It's how you respond to the hand life has dealt you.

Someone like Jelena, who had the financial resources, and the right people available to overcome what was clearly a traumatic and harsh childhood, should, at 26 years old, be talking about how she moved beyond her demons and doesn't carry around the luggage of her past, rather than focusing on how bad she had it.
I cannot judge Jelena more harshly based on what others, like Pierce, were able to do. It helps to have loved ones on your side. Money and the WTA are a poor substitute for family. Pierce had her Mom and her brother. I'm not sure what Jelena had. I've never heard word one about her Mom.
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Old 04-05-2009, 07:40 PM   #26
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yes, as i suggested from an earlier post, i am horrified by the ferrer story. for me, being locked up because i don't want to train constitutes abuse. no 2 ways about it.

sure the coach will say he was being "creative" but at the same time it was the child ferrer who said he wanted to be a tennis player, doesn't necessarily mean the child knew what level of work it entailed. thus when other, frankly more appealing options came up ie hanging out with the other kids, he was tempted. no need to deprive him of liberty.

he might have changed his mind altogether about wanting to be a tennis player. again, i have no prob with that, only with the "motivating" techniques.
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Old 04-05-2009, 08:15 PM   #27
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yes, as i suggested from an earlier post, i am horrified by the ferrer story. for me, being locked up because i don't want to train constitutes abuse. no 2 ways about it.

sure the coach will say he was being "creative" but at the same time it was the child ferrer who said he wanted to be a tennis player, doesn't necessarily mean the child knew what level of work it entailed. thus when other, frankly more appealing options came up ie hanging out with the other kids, he was tempted. no need to deprive him of liberty.

he might have changed his mind altogether about wanting to be a tennis player. again, i have no prob with that, only with the "motivating" techniques.
I agree. and where on earth were his parents? seriously, if someone would do that to my child, I'd be looking for a new coach.


as for jelena: I feel so sorry for her. Knowing a few people very well who had abusive parents, I can tell you: these scars ran deep. And dealing with them is so hard, so painful... I admire all who can deal with it early and in a mature way, but I just cannot blame those who need more time.
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Old 04-06-2009, 01:19 AM   #28
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I think Jelena could have left the part about having it the worst on tour out of the interview, sexual abuse isn't very visible though a tennis skirt and could have been going on with someone. Not to diminish her abuse but it wasn't a contest.
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Old 04-06-2009, 01:21 AM   #29
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She does also say something like "No one knows what I had to deal with, I don't know what anyone else has to deal with."
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Old 04-06-2009, 01:33 AM   #30
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She does also say something like "No one knows what I had to deal with, I don't know what anyone else has to deal with."
What? Are you suggesting that interviews are more than 2 sentences long?

Who knew. And the same thing happened to Serena today! I eagerly await your defense on that one.
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