[poulaMahmah]

That was Nebraska.

Thank you! It was making me nuts trying to remember it.

I have friends who did a domestic adoption of a newborn. The mother was pretty unstable, and they were kind of worried about what sort of presence she would be in their baby's life, since they were required to keep in touch with her. but after a while she just drifted away and they haven't heard from her in several years. Meanwhile the little girl is gorgeous and happy and thriving. I really shudder to think what might have happened to her had she not found her loving family.

[Impariclainna]

So, she may(HA!, WILL) be facing charges, along with the grandmother who flew with the child to NY to send him to Russia....

[globjgtyf]

So, she may(HA!, WILL) be facing charges, along with the grandmother who flew with the child to NY to send him to Russia....

A watched a show about this and other russian adoptions that went bad, and I was quite surprised that the show was almost taking the mom's side on the issue. It was dateline or some show like that later last night.

[lrtoinbert]

Thank you! It was making me nuts trying to remember it.

I have friends who did a domestic adoption of a newborn. The mother was pretty unstable, and they were kind of worried about what sort of presence she would be in their baby's life, since they were required to keep in touch with her. but after a while she just drifted away and they haven't heard from her in several years. Meanwhile the little girl is gorgeous and happy and thriving. I really shudder to think what might have happened to her had she not found her loving family.

You're welcome. But warn your friend though that the mother can resurface and make things ugly, especially if she's unbalanced. It's a good idea to get out of as many of the public databases as possible (Lexis-Nexus, Choicepoint, Intelius, do the Junkbuster's thing, etc.) It's sad, but family courts are often run by the most incompetent boobs. Hopefully you're friend and their child will never have to deal with the mother, but it's better to play defensively.

[poulaMahmah]

You're welcome. But warn your friend though that the mother can resurface and make things ugly, especially if she's unbalanced. It's a good idea to get out of as many of the public databases as possible (Lexis-Nexus, Choicepoint, Intelius, do the Junkbuster's thing, etc.) It's sad, but family courts are often run by the most incompetent boobs. Hopefully you're friend and their child will never have to deal with the mother, but it's better to play defensively.

The mother has given up all her rights and the child legally adopted by her new family. The adoption was done in I think Ohio, which has some interesting legalities around paternal rights...something like if the father does not claim the child at birth or before his rights are legally terminated. in this case it's unlikely the guy even knew he had fathered a child..

[lrtoinbert]

The mother has given up all her rights and the child legally adopted by her new family. The adoption was done in I think Ohio, which has some interesting legalities around paternal rights...something like if the father does not claim the child at birth or before his rights are legally terminated. in this case it's unlikely the guy even knew he had fathered a child..

Yep, but your friend *has* to watch her back regardless. I understand what you are saying, but tell her not to be lulled into a false sense of security. I'll have to ask my GF or her friends (she's originally from OH) too about whaqt she knows about the law, but *never*assume that just because there is a law in place or that the mother/father is a bad person or has surrendered her rights means she can't get them back or make life a nightmare.

Trust me on this one, don't assume that the family courts will act in the interests of the children. I think you can start an entire messageboard on what a monumental clusterf-ck family courts are.

[Anckzxik]

I adopted a Cambodian child once , and I don't care what you say tasted like chicken .

[DiatryDal]

Well, from the story, it's clear that she gave him 6 months of her time. What more could anyone expect of a parent?

She could be in some legal difficulty. First, as the child's guardian, I doubt that she even tried to obtain the proper visas. and it all goes downhill from there

Her note shows some serious ignorance, though... There may be a change in nationality that accompanies adoption. And it's not that easy to get an adoption "disannulled" (whatever that means).

New World's Worst Mother Sends Her Adopted Child Back to Russia Alone - Russia - Gawker
.

[poulaMahmah]

Yep, but your friend *has* to watch her back regardless. I understand what you are saying, but tell her not to be lulled into a false sense of security. I'll have to ask my GF or her friends (she's originally from OH) too about whaqt she knows about the law, but *never*assume that just because there is a law in place or that the mother/father is a bad person or has surrendered her rights means she can't get them back or make life a nightmare.

Trust me on this one, don't assume that the family courts will act in the interests of the children. I think you can start an entire messageboard on what a monumental clusterf-ck family courts are.

thanks for the advice...there is no "she" involved in this parenting...they are 2 gay men and one is a lawyer, so I think they have the situation covered as best one can.