[hotsaucemidl]

1. Play golf. Lots of successful people play golf. When you meet people on the course be sure to ask where they work. If they are business owners or bankers make friends immediately. If they have some physical job that is distant from treasury or management avoid them. Nobody wants to network with shipping clerks or truckers.

2. Drive a nice clean, newer coupe or sedan car. This sends a message that says, "I'm a serious minded professional." and little can be said in jest about such a vehicle. Avoid mini vans (soccer mom or dad jokes), sports cars (penis extensions), and trucks (hillbilly rides).

3. Do designer drugs like cocaine and pop trendy prescriptions because other successful people do this and you need to fit in.

4. Join secret societies often.

5. Find out what the boss believes and match that 100% regarding religion and politics. If he's an atheist, then you are. If he likes Obama, then you do. It's not important to be an activist for your parents' politics or cousin's church in the workplace.

6. Find out where your boss shops to buy groceries and also where he takes his clothes for dry cleaning. Don't linger when you go to those places, just play it so that he notices you "by chance" on occasion.

7. Avoid juvenile things like comic books, train collections, collecting beanie babies, GI JOEs and Transformer toys, buying fishing tackle, and collecting non-museum piece pistols or rifles. Successful people regard these things as signs of weakness when dealing with adulthood. They will be thought of as a form of Peter Pan plans to return to Neverland.

[viawbambutt]

4. Join secret societies often.

If they are secret how does one find out about them. If non-members know about them it is obvious they have a security breach involving one of the members.

[Enladalusange]

If they are secret how does one find out about them. If non-members know about them it is obvious they have a security breach involving one of the members.

See ---> Youtube.

8. Become a Predatory Professional and systematically; "Get them before they can get you." Take out the young people by lying to them about making the company more profitable. That way when you give them a .5 % raise they will understand that it is simply all you can afford. Take out peers by recommending to upper/senior management that "sticking" them in positions overseeing situations that fail seasonally annually or maybe every four or five years when market conditions roller coaster... that way they look good at first and then later consistently look bad.

9. Bulldoze and snipe. If you constantly deny every accusation that comes at you by staying silent or simply denying everything, nothing can be proven. Who cares about credibility? Your fellow criminals will treat you with respect.

10. Practice THUG LIFE at an early age. Go ahead and find out which family is the richest in town and see if they have any fat daughters. Knock her up and live with her for a while. This will get you in pappy. After that, you keep the fat one hangin' while all the rest you be bangin'. To hell with HPVs and the cancer.

11. Avoid letting anyone know who you are online. Use anonymous logins for facebook, myspace, and the like... throw up a linkedin page if you want, but don't post a resume. The higher-ups only use resumes sometimes. Elite placement agencies are king. If you have to use a resume, go ahead and lie on it to get any job you like. You'd be surprised how many HR clones don't actually check acclaims.

[Hedkffiz]

[Joircarm]

http://youtu.be/_D54SEsJDeg

[unmalryAlalry]

You'd know about being defective, Tommolo.

[doxinwasido]

12. Purchase and wear a fake Rolex.

13. Go where the money is.

[FallJimerks]

14. Give in to peer pressure.

15. Take things for granted.

16. Take advice from drunks in bars who know everything.

17. Apply energy to psychotic frustration-based behaviors instead of practically applying energy toward mental and physical activity that works towards goals or improvement.

18. Worm your way into the upper crust using a brilliant disguise and speech learned from simple minded southern gentlemen.

[lorrieholdridge]

19. Go ahead and con people over to get what you want and to take out enemies. If someone wrongs you or a buddy, con his manager into thinking he's some sort of bullet proof superhero. After you get what you want, go ahead and brag about it. It'll be like a mugging.

20. Watch out for those that bring the pan into a given con. They will count on you to bring up the rear with the der part.

[FelikTen]

21. When Captain Cook visits your island using a strange craft produced using centuries of engineering and discipline go ahead and knock him down when he blinks. He will be good feasting and he has no other quality.

[maysubers]

I own fishing tackle. I'm fucked...defective.

[pipitous]

22. Be pretentious often about things above you and dismiss anything that someone else does beneath you.

23. Value inexperienced college grads higher than experienced shop skilled trades or decorated accounting personnel.

[Buincchotourb]

It's not sufficient to label imperfect human beings as being somehow 'defective'.

They're just human. And what you suggest here is supportive of the same aggression you ostensibly look to disavow.

[55Beaphable]

24. Practice human eugenics in an acute or chronic fashion.

25. Drop subtle innuendo, implication, and suggestion. Don't play with fire, burn yourself a little with it.

[teergoBissono]

Of course Tommy's entirely free of fault.

[VovTortki]

I RECKON HE'S A "CUTTER".....



BEDWETTER....



PROBABLY SUCKS HIS TOES.....

[BamSaitinypap]

AND THAT WOULD BE HIS IDEA OF A GOOD TIME.

[Cxcvvfbgtr]

If you have to use a resume, go ahead and lie on it to get any job you like. Done it.

[Cucoulkrory]

FUCK THAT MISERABLE, COVETOUS LITTLE CUNT.

[VDAu5p33]

GET BACK TO THE PARK, JIMMY, YOU

SHIT-FACED LITTLE LOOTER.