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**BalaGire** · 09-21-2012, 10:49 PM

Yes, as I was posting that last one I was thinking the same thing too.

I didn't feel embarrassed too much. I guess I was asking weather or not I had "lost face" in the eyes of my friends.

And now that I have put it that way, I suspect that the whole "face" thing may have a little a little less to do with your own feelings and more to do with how your friends/acquaintances see you/your actions? I don't know, I'm not expressing myself very clearly here.

Jerome,

My guess is, this is about our own self-image, or how we want to be seen by others, and how others see us, as indicated by the way they treat us or what they tell us.

If the the amount of respect we think we deserve is significantly less than what is accorded to us by others, it could be said that we lose face in the transaction. Meaning, there's a disappointment on our part to discover that we are valued less than we want others value us.

I think "embarrassment" here takes place when we realize that there exists that discrepancy or shortfall, which could erode our self-respect or the value we assign to our self.

In that sense, in my opinion, losing face has got more to do with our own feelings and actions related to our self-image--and how we want our friends/ acquaintances, and other significant others, for that matter, to affirm that. When they negate it in a significant way, we lose face.

But then I am only guessing. LOL And sorry for being verbose in my desperate attempt to explain a nebulous point.

09-21-2012, 10:49 PM	#16
BalaGire Join Date Nov 2005 Posts 452 Senior Member	Yes, as I was posting that last one I was thinking the same thing too. I didn't feel embarrassed too much. I guess I was asking weather or not I had "lost face" in the eyes of my friends. And now that I have put it that way, I suspect that the whole "face" thing may have a little a little less to do with your own feelings and more to do with how your friends/acquaintances see you/your actions? I don't know, I'm not expressing myself very clearly here. Jerome, My guess is, this is about our own self-image, or how we want to be seen by others, and how others see us, as indicated by the way they treat us or what they tell us. If the the amount of respect we think we deserve is significantly less than what is accorded to us by others, it could be said that we lose face in the transaction. Meaning, there's a disappointment on our part to discover that we are valued less than we want others value us. I think "embarrassment" here takes place when we realize that there exists that discrepancy or shortfall, which could erode our self-respect or the value we assign to our self. In that sense, in my opinion, losing face has got more to do with our own feelings and actions related to our self-image--and how we want our friends/ acquaintances, and other significant others, for that matter, to affirm that. When they negate it in a significant way, we lose face. But then I am only guessing. LOL And sorry for being verbose in my desperate attempt to explain a nebulous point.
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