[timmybrown]

Yeah you`re right...it also could have something to do with my being Thai Alphabet "handicapped"

More like eye problems.
First of all, you say you observed there's no cemeteries in Thailand and your "Thai wife" don't even know what a cemetery is? Do you even have a Thai wife?
Then you say you never read any Thai jokes and you don't find Thai humor anywhere.... you never see all those Thai comedy movies they have in the theaters while you here?
Then you also say you don't see many hair saloons in Thailand. Gees.. you sure your "Thai wife" never asked you for some money cos she wanna start up a hair saloon business in Thailand?

Seriously, I think you've never been to Thailand.