[Goksiodiffeli]

I have come to several realizations that I am going to try to put into words. These realizations are not going to be popular.....but I believe have enough merit that I want to share them with you.

Lets discuss morals first. Contrary to popular belief, we are not born with morals. They are instilled in us by upbringing, society, religion, and laws. Beyond that.....we are nothing more than highly evolved animals. That being said....we all obviously don't have the same moral codes. Some people think its ok to cheat, and some don't.

The problem with this is, we are pressured through society, religion, family.......even TV and movies, to believe in "the one." We are "supposed" to get married and live happily ever after.

But we don't. Why?

It goes back to moral codes and genetics. Genetics tell a man to lust after every woman he sees. At the basic root of that, is Mother Nature telling him to procreate for the survival of the species. We aren't meant to be monogamous. We are meant to procreate and protect. Do moral codes prevent the more basic animal from taking over....leading to adultery? Sometimes. But obviously not all the time.

Women, OTOH.......genetics tell them to make babies, and nest. Provide a good home. She spends the first part of her life looking for the strongest mate she can find to impregnate her. After she gets her baby(ies), she spends the rest of her time making sure she has a good home and making sure her mate provides to HER standard of living.

So how does all this apply to cheaters? Simple. Women ask why a man will sleep with someone lesser than her. She doesn't understand how some trailer trash skank was more appealing than her. The simple answer is....she wasn't more appealing. She was just easy and new.....and his nature overcame his morals.

Women tho....who do they "usually" cheat with? A boss. A higher level coworker. A ranking member of the church her and her husband attend.....and so on and so forth. Her genetics are telling her that she needs someone "better" than her husband. That "better" translates into a more comfortable life/existance for her and her baby(ies) in her mind.

So....you have cheaters and non cheaters. Moral codes that are different from others. Now, how do you survive knowing that fact? Honestly? I have no clue.

At 35 years old and two failed marriages later, I realize that marriage is..........not for me. I'm tired of trying to do what society expects everyone to do, and be miserable for it. Trying to do the "right" thing is subjective....cause whats right for me may not be right for you. Only you can decide that.

As a person who has been cheated on, I realize that I can't control anyone. Marriage is a sign of ownership. But you don't own that person. They don't own you. You choose to be faithful....or not. And if they aren't....what can you really do? The truth is....nothing. Noone cares. And I'm tired of being a victim. I'm tired of the whining and pissing and moaning. I'm tired of "taking the moral high road." There isn't one.

I'm to a point now where I want to beat the bastards at their own game. WHY should I suffer when I haven't done anything wrong? WHY should I be the one who has the doubt and pain? WHY should I be the one who takes the "moral high road" when all that does is makes me feel like a *****. I WANT to strike back. I WANT them to hurt like I hurt. Turning the other cheek doesn't work well for me. And I swear I have turned it for the LAST time.