DiscussWorldIssues - Socio-Economic Religion and Political Uncensored Debate - View Single Post

**CedssypeEdids** · 01-21-2009, 07:01 PM

The wording and grammar are for the most part correct. And may I add it was quite an interesting read too!
I would suggest changing 2 sentences from your first paragraph:

This means that only 3% of website visitors does a transaction on the site to "This means that only 3% of website visitors perform/carry out a transaction on the site".

And
It struck me as intolerable that we let 97% of our visitors go without letting them do anything to "It is intolerable that we allow 97% of our visitors to leave without doing anything"
or "It came as quite a shock that 97% of our visitors leave without doing anything"

Just an opinion.

01-21-2009, 07:01 PM	#4
CedssypeEdids Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 692 Senior Member	The wording and grammar are for the most part correct. And may I add it was quite an interesting read too! I would suggest changing 2 sentences from your first paragraph: This means that only 3% of website visitors does a transaction on the site to "This means that only 3% of website visitors perform/carry out a transaction on the site". And It struck me as intolerable that we let 97% of our visitors go without letting them do anything to "It is intolerable that we allow 97% of our visitors to leave without doing anything" or "It came as quite a shock that 97% of our visitors leave without doing anything" Just an opinion.
	Quote