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**Nurse_sero** · 07-03-2008, 09:21 PM

Ah heck - here is two more (my inbox is busy today!)

Paddy and Gerry went out one day and each bought a pig.

When they got home, Paddy turned to Gerry and said, Gerry, me ol mate, how we gonna tell who owns which fookin pig?
Gerry says Well Paddy, Ill cut one a ta ears off my pig, and ten we can tell em apart

Ah tatd be grand says Paddy.

This worked fine until a couple of weeks later when Paddy stormed into the house. Gerry he said Your fookin pig has chewed the ear offa my fookin pig. Now we got two fookin pigs with only one ear each. How we gonna tell who owns which pig?
Well Paddy said Gerry Ill cut ta other ear off my fookin pig. Ten well av two fookin pigs and only one of them will avan ear

Ah tatd be grand says Paddy.

Again this worked fine until a couple of weeks later when Paddy again stormed into the house. Gerry he said Your fookin pig has chewed the other ear offa my fookin pig. Now we got two fookin pigs with no fookin ears! How we gonna tell who owns which pig?
Ah tis serious, Paddy said Gerry Ill tell ya what Ill do. Ill cut ta tail offa my fookin pig, ten well av two fookin pigs with no fookin ears and only one fookin tail.

Ah tatd be grand says Paddy.

Another couple of weeks went by, and you guessed it, Paddy stormed into the house once more.
Gerry! shouted Paddy. Your fookin pig has chewed the fookin tail offa my fookin pig and now we got two fookin pigs with no fookin ears and no fookin tails! How the fook are we ever gonna tell OEem apart?!

Ah fook it! says Gerry Hows about you have the black one, and Ill have the pink one

Irish fancy dress.....

A bloke holds a party where his guests are asked to dress as different emotions...

The first guest arrives.
The host opens the door to see a bloke covered in green paint with the letters 'N' and 'V' painted on his chest.
He says "What emotion have you come as?"
The bloke says, "I'm green with envy."

A few minutes later, the next guest arrives.
The host opens the door to see a woman covered in a pink body stocking with a feather boa wrapped aroung her privates.
The host says, "What emotion are you?"
She says, "I'm tickled pink."

A couple of minutes later, the doorbell rings for the third time and the man opens the door to see two Irish blokes, Paddy and Gerry
standing there stark naked, one with his **** stuck in a bowl of custard and the other with his **** stuck in a pear.

Shocked, the host says, "What emotions are these supposed to be?"
Paddy says, "Well, I'm ****in discustard and Gerry has just come in despair."

07-03-2008, 09:21 PM	#11
Nurse_sero Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 562 Senior Member	Ah heck - here is two more (my inbox is busy today!) Paddy and Gerry went out one day and each bought a pig. When they got home, Paddy turned to Gerry and said, Gerry, me ol mate, how we gonna tell who owns which fookin pig? Gerry says Well Paddy, Ill cut one a ta ears off my pig, and ten we can tell em apart Ah tatd be grand says Paddy. This worked fine until a couple of weeks later when Paddy stormed into the house. Gerry he said Your fookin pig has chewed the ear offa my fookin pig. Now we got two fookin pigs with only one ear each. How we gonna tell who owns which pig? Well Paddy said Gerry Ill cut ta other ear off my fookin pig. Ten well av two fookin pigs and only one of them will avan ear Ah tatd be grand says Paddy. Again this worked fine until a couple of weeks later when Paddy again stormed into the house. Gerry he said Your fookin pig has chewed the other ear offa my fookin pig. Now we got two fookin pigs with no fookin ears! How we gonna tell who owns which pig? Ah tis serious, Paddy said Gerry Ill tell ya what Ill do. Ill cut ta tail offa my fookin pig, ten well av two fookin pigs with no fookin ears and only one fookin tail. Ah tatd be grand says Paddy. Another couple of weeks went by, and you guessed it, Paddy stormed into the house once more. Gerry! shouted Paddy. Your fookin pig has chewed the fookin tail offa my fookin pig and now we got two fookin pigs with no fookin ears and no fookin tails! How the fook are we ever gonna tell OEem apart?! Ah fook it! says Gerry Hows about you have the black one, and Ill have the pink one Irish fancy dress..... A bloke holds a party where his guests are asked to dress as different emotions... The first guest arrives. The host opens the door to see a bloke covered in green paint with the letters 'N' and 'V' painted on his chest. He says "What emotion have you come as?" The bloke says, "I'm green with envy." A few minutes later, the next guest arrives. The host opens the door to see a woman covered in a pink body stocking with a feather boa wrapped aroung her privates. The host says, "What emotion are you?" She says, "I'm tickled pink." A couple of minutes later, the doorbell rings for the third time and the man opens the door to see two Irish blokes, Paddy and Gerry standing there stark naked, one with his ** stuck in a bowl of custard and the other with his stuck in a pear. Shocked, the host says, "What emotions are these supposed to be?" Paddy says, "Well, I'm **in discustard and Gerry has just come in despair."
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