[Demento]

I can't remember the artist, but this song, the Phantom Windbreaker, totally cracked me up every time I heard it. This song was a country song and I remember most of the lyrics, but there's a couple of lines missing. Can anybody help me fill in the blanks?

Originally Posted by mGUuZRyA

Here's the whole thing,

On a midnight drive
with two buddies and I
I turned and looked at my friends
I said with a frown
You can roll them all down
'cause someone has just broke wind

Well they did their best
to deny and protest
that they hadn't started no breeze
I said all the same
I know I ain't to blame
and yet somebody is cuttin' the cheese

Well we argued awhile
Through the midnight miles
And we stopped a little cafe
An old waitress in jeans
said "Our specialty's beans"
We said "Take them things away!"

Well she must have overheard
Our joking words
About the crime with no confession
'Cause when we looked up
From our coffee cups
Oh you should have seen her expression

Well we made some tries
To apologize
If we'd said something that might offend
She said "No, dear,
I hear a lot worse in here
But it sounds like you've met our friend"

...And as she spoke the whole cafe crowded around

Well ten years it's been
Since he walked in
Just remembering gives me a chill
Right over there he sat
Wearing a ten-gallon hat
His buddies called him Big Bill

Well he ate our beans
Till he busted his jeans
Then he waddled on out to the car
From what I've heard
And I believe every word
Them boys didn't drive very far

Things got strange
As the atmosphere changed
They all started gasping for breath
With looks that would kill
They looked at Big Bill
And said "Bill, you're gassing us to death!"

But he wouldn't quit it
He wouldn't even admit it,
And that got them incredibly peeved
When they got the next whiff
They was right by a cliff
And that's where they gave Big Bill the heave

(Background singer)
Oh the wind, how it blows
where it starts, No one knows

Well he never was found,
but he might be around.
We can't be sure where he went
Cause drivers out there
Sometimes they swear
That often they pick up his scent

So have another cup
before you get up
And say a little prayer to your Maker
'Cause though it was unwanted
Tonight you was haunted
By the Phantom Windbreaker