[HugoSimon]

What an excellent series of posts! I'm glad i took the risk (not that i seriously thought i'd be flamed in this forum, but...) as i feel reinvigorated.

I took the time over the weekend to write up my kendo journal, and to really think about why i felt bad, and what had really happened.

i took too much outside stuff (work worries etc) into the dojo with me which i think definitely impeded me - too much weight on my shoulders.

people at the dojo (where i have found everyone to be very supportive and encouraging) have said on occasion that my kendo is fine/okay/improving but that i am too tense.

and part of that is i realise, that i am afraid of being hit. I know it is natural, but still, at that moment when you know the shinai is going to strike your men, i flinch.

i haven't liked to admit that to myself because i felt like that was kinda weak, but from reading the other posts, i guess most people go through that.

so, although i nearly chickened out this morning when packing my bag ("theres stuff to do round the house/i've got calls to make/work to do....") i'm packed and ready for Keiko tonight.