[Noilemaillilm]

...
There's a reason I moved away from all those annoying, genetically linked insane people. ...

Careful now, this argument may run both ways. After all you do do kendo and I do not know anyone in kendo that is 'normal'.

I go to my in-laws and my mother-in-law makes superb stuffing. Other than the one airhead cousin that talks loudly and incessantly never actually saying anything, the whole affair is very pleasant. With luck she does not show up. Besides with no booze everything stays calm.

I would not be crazy about eating a wild turkey, but domesticated ones have to be the worlds dumbest bird.