[hygtfrdes]

A favourite Top Tip of mine was:

"Avoid farting loudly in public by holding your buttocks apart when breaking wind"

Followed later in the section, from the same sender, by


"Avoid shitting your pants in public by not holding your buttocks apart when breaking wind"


Something along those lines. I'd check for more, but my mother recycled my Viz collection (along with all the porn that was concealed amongst it) pretty much the day after I moved out.