[Nabeqiv]

Maybe I'm naive, but treating kids like precious breakable little bundles of innocence -- or conversely -- troubled, out of control, malicious demons misses the point of childhood.

Becoming socialized means defending oneself just as much as it means becoming part of the group. Self respect and the corollary respect from one's peers must (as impolitic as it is to admit) be won through verbal and physical conflict i.e., schoolyard scuffles.

It may be cliched to tell a child to "stand up for yourself", especially when the cause of self doubt for the child may be -- and likely is -- beyond the capacity of the parent to grasp, but really what else is there?

The problem comes when the culture of schools and play-dates and unrelenting safety and politeness restricts the good (rule-following) kids from asserting themselves against the bullies and must appeal to an authority figure to mediate the situation. And what kid is going to want to start talking about something as confusing and nascent as sexual orientation? And even if they were to, the message they would be given would be that "you're different, but they need to respect that difference - and we're here to help", like that'll help the child...

I'm not arguing that closeting is good, it just might be the natural order of things - owing to the vagaries of the social order of kids and their confidence building experiences which are largely private, individual, and unique. No one has an easy time of growing up, yet no one could do it for you, just as parents and teachers can't today -- no matter their good intentions or sensitivities.

Here is a piece I just read about the apparently counterproductive sanitizing of largely harmless childhood "violence."