murderweapon *sigh*, DONT LAY LOW. Dont stay at home during the weekend! I really am in the same situation as you. But it wont help you or me to be shy. Build up a little attraction (tell her casual funny things, talk about your nights out) and be ambeguous when she talks about her lover. When she says they went out to eat you say "hopefully he had a good Steak" or something. Then she'll go one about that it wasnt a Steakhouse blabla... Make her feel comfortable in your company. That doesnt mean you're on the friendship ladder, but give her the room for talking about nonsense things and every now and then you make a ambiguous sexual comment. "Yeah, I wonder how she made it into the Mini Cooper with those bells" blabla Then ask her to have a coffee with you damnit. I mean DONT think about "what if she says no", because the worst thing that can happen is that you get to a point where you are right now already. So what? At least then she knows that you're still after. And pleeeeeeeease start to think about how many other nice women there are on this planet. It helped me to just sit on a bench downtown, sip a coffee, and just look at people. The problem is you idealize her. Dont. Even with all those feelings you must be able to see that she isnt perfect. Great, but not perfect. Number four is the hardest thing to do, I know. But eventually it will get to you that she isnt out of your league but that she's just in another one. And yours is just as much fun.