[Markdogas]

I think it's very hard. It's only natural to get involved in reactions and emotional states and if you are directly involved in things and not just contemplating from a distance then you can hardly avoid becoming enmeshed. I guess the thing is to try to be aware of your reactions. Not beat yourself up or try to deny or negate anything. Just see it happening. And always see things from the other viewpoint also and try to apply the effects of context, the larger view, seeing how everything works in the bigger picture.

If someone harms someone you love, for example, does something terrible to them, how can you not react to that with contempt, anger, distress and so on?

Someone mentioned Maslow's hierarchy of needs somewhere on this forum. Maybe spiritual work sometimes has to come after the basic needs are catered for. Sometimes if you are not an enlightened being you have to do what is necessary in order to survive, and then afterwards, once the emergency is over, you can then work on what had happened.