[Elisabetxxx]

Hello Jacarand,

I am struggling at the moment with reality.

You are not alone in this; why do you think so many blindly chase satisfaction through materialism?

its best to practice bringing your attention back to the present moment.

I agree that this is important practice. In doing so, one comes to see how their mind drifts away from the present moment. In seeing this, one gains the wisdom necessary to stay in the present moment.

Note: Before you read the rest of my post, I want you to know that I am not very well-read on Buddhism. I will share with you some of what I've discovered through my experiences though, with the hope that it helps you through your experiences.

Sometimes I don't actually like being "present"because it makes me face reality,and at the moment,reality is'nt a very good place for me to be. I have to make a huge life changing decision soon,and I'm having difficulty doing that because it throws up all kinds of emotions,some positive and some negative,and its actually stopping me moving forward because I don't want to face it,but I have to.

It is okay that you feel these negative emotions. I know that this doesn't always seem to be the case, as the emotions can seem overwhelming at times. But it's okay to feel this way. I believe that it is important to accept the emotions that you feel as they arise in the mind. Instead of wishing that you didn't feel a certain way, it is better in my opinion to accept that you feel this way, and, this is key, realize that the emotion that you feel will pass. Don't they all? Even if the emotion were to arise again in the mind at a later time, one can find comfort in knowing that it will again pass.

So how am I going to get around this in a confident fearless way?Or am I expecting too much?

I'm not sure what you mean by "expecting too much." There is no healthy way of getting around your emotions. One must experience their emotions. The key to dealing with emotions is simply acceptance. I know this doesn't always seem simple, but in realizing that emotions fade just as they arise, one can accept how they feel with confidence that they will not always feel this way. Feelings are impermanent.

If overcoming negative emotions in general is what you are expecting, than you are not expecting too much. Through acceptance one can learn to do just that. It takes patience, but it is definitely doable. But it is important to realize that overcoming negative emotions does not mean that negative emotions never arise in the mind. It means that one realizes what emotions really are, and can effectively overcome them as they arise. Thankfully the Buddha left behind a path to follow, so we don't have to wander blindly.

Hope this helps,
Nathan