[Tribas4u]

Hi all, I'm still dealing with all the financial loss we are going through and trying to prepare to move and find work.

With all this going on I seem to be more concerned with losing a very good friend. I keep turning over and over in my head what this person might be thinking, are they pulling away, am I just imagining it, etc.

I guess my thing is, why do I put so much of my own happiness in this person's lap? How or why can I focus on just being happy with myself, and enjoying my friends, instead of them being my source of happiness? I used to be really bad about this, but through practice and other things this hasn't been a problem in quite awhile. But lately its been bad with this one person.

I also have a tendency to think negative thoughts. LIke if friend tells me they are busy...I instantly take it personal, as if they just don't want to spend time with me. Or if a friend of mine tells me they are on the phone with someone else, or have to meet with another friend, I automatically start thinking they are talking about me, that they are chosing this other person over me, or whatever other negative thing.

Why do I do this and how do I stop it? Lately meditation has been harder and harder to do. And when I do it, it seem to only provide temporary relief from these thoughts.