[fujitsusi]

Thank you all for your honest and helpful answers. I'm going to continue chewing on this, but it seems to me that Buddhism can be very self-correcting. If something nasty is going on, it's okay to say, "Hey. We're probably victim-blaming too much. Let's maybe not."

I'm still chewing on this, and may give a more involved answer when I've digested it (Man, even my metaphors are hungry. Clearly I need more pasta before I talk to people online any further...)