[selayeffethy]

I recently read a teaching that briefly mentioned antidotes to the three poisons. For attachment, meditation on impermanence was given as an antidote. This is like the tradition of meditation on sexual attraction where we visualize the body of the object of desire growing old, dying, & decaying. Of course, we must do this before attachment takes hold of our mind strongly, because once it does it is very intoxicating. Karmapa talk about this briefly here: http://www.livingthedharma.eu/transc.../4-attachment/

If one trains in this when not feeling an especially strong sense of sexual desire, then one can recall this when the desire arises and the momentum will help counteract the momentum of the sexual attraction. I read something from the Dalia Lama recently that goes something like: We have to be mindful to catch the afflictions when they first arise and cut them off immediately like a plant breaking the surface of the ground. This is the best way, because once the afflictions take root they are so powerful that the only thing we can really do is distract ourselves from them.

So, denial of urges is not an altogether bad thing because it allows to build our force of will. By exercising our will it becomes stronger and stronger. Then we are not easily subdued by our afflictions. However, in a sense it is also a last resort. If we contemplate before the afflictions arise this will help reduce their power. Secondly, if we are mindful when afflictions arise we can stop them before they grow. In this way, using our will to deny our urges is actually the third line of defense. Again this is not altogether bad, but one has to be aware of one's own mind. Suppression can lead to a more forceful expression of desire. I think the most important thing is to be aware of what is going on in your mind. The purpose is to reduce our afflictions and the agitation they cause in the mind.

Are you strengthening your will and weakening your desire or are you simply suppressing desire? If you are suppressing your desire perhaps you are biting off more than you can chew at the moment, or perhaps you could spend some of that energy applying another antidote (Pink trike made some very good suggestions as well). It is important to remember that working with afflictions is a long term thing. Results are often not immediate and we cannot usually make one heroic effort to be free of them, it really occurs with repeated effort over a long period of time.