DiscussWorldIssues - Socio-Economic Religion and Political Uncensored Debate - View Single Post - Are Asian parents the best parents a kid can ask for?

**BostonDoctorTTT** · 11-27-2010, 01:17 PM

When I posted this thread I had my oppositions but I hoped someone would say them for me. Well my turn then.

I go to Columbia and a lot of Asian kids here come from well, Asian countries, not that many Asian American kids here.

On top of that, many Asian guys will not be getting the highly educated and smart girls. Believe me, the people here at the Ivies are very racist in that regard, the White girls here may suck on a black cawk for a while but when it comes to marriage a large majority of them end up marrying Whites, Asian guys are not even on their list in most cases. In fact, EVEN THE ASIAN GIRLS here go for White guys.

Second, Asian kids LACK independence. I have seen many who don't live on their own, they live with their moms and dad even when they go to college. Mom and dad are in the same town as them and rarely let them move away far. The lack of independence skills means they cannot balance well, a lot of them cannot do things American kids can like work, focus on grades and balance that out with social life. Why? Strict parents.

Another thing, Asian kids LACK tolerance for failure and that is good except a lot of them go emo when they get their first F, believe me, in college at something you will get your first F. It isn't uncommon for them to hang themselves from a ceiling fan for getting a bad grade on an exam.

Another point. Going to an Ivy, ESPECIALLY for your undergrad in no way shape or form guarantees success. In fact it is so competitive you need to be a hyper competitive blue whale in this ocean in order to survive and put up a good resume for grad school. Yea it is tough to flunk out of an Ivy but very easy to get overlooked and washed away with the competition.

Thing is, Asian kids end up lacking social skills, independent skills (living on your own and working and balancing it all out) and other skills useful in life in trade for academic skills. It is pretty easy to make All A's compared to other kids when you don't have to work and fend for yourself. Then AGAIN, that can be a good thing.

This thread is dry, I would like more debate

Well I was speaking from a 1.5 generation Asian American point of view. I know its def. harder for international kids or Asians that migrated here more recently because they have a hard time adjusting to American culture. But from a strictly Asian American point of view, I would disagree with you that Asian guys have a tough time getting with Asian girls in college, at least in the Northeast. I've met Asian girls, usually from NYC that prefer Asian guys over all other guys, including white guys. I think you are over generalizing when you say Asian girls only want go for white guys in college. I went to University of Rochester, I know its not an Ivy but its still a top 35 school(same rank and NYU) and from my experience Asian girls did NOT favor white guys over Asian guys. Also I've also seen a good share of Asian guys, usually ones that join white frats, get with white girls. In addition Asian guys that join Asian or multicultural fraternities have no problems getting with sorority girls from Asian or multicultural sororites. I've also observed the same thing at Rutgers, albeit a lower ranked state school, when I took some classes there. Asian American guys there generally don't have a major problem with dating. Bottomline is that Asian guys are not disadvantaged because they Asian. The ones that have problems with dating are the onces that lack confidence, not because of their race, and I don't think that correlates with Asian parenting. If you lack confidence and assertiveness and not a Brad Pitt look alike, you will fail at dating regardless of what race you are.

The lack of independence I think its partly true, but I've never heard of Asian parents making their kids live at home instead of campus. Then again I went to school in the middle of nowhere. But if I were to hazard a guess as to why some Asian parents do that, its because of financial reasons and they can't afford the board which is so freaking expensive for Ivies. They want to use that money to buy a house so their family can have some property to pass on to their kids.

I will disagree with the lack of tolerance for failure. Recent suicides or homicides in my school have all been white kids who are science majors or who were hazed badly while pledging a frat. We've never in our history had an incidence where an Asian kid kill himself or did anything stupid like that.

Going to a top school of course does not guarantee success, but because Asian kids have better work ethnics than other ethnicities, they are LESS likely to drop out or fail at their major. Of course its hyper competitive in this job market right now and its tough to find a job. HOWEVER, the beauty about this country is that playing field is even for all races. Its not like whites are having an easier time finding or job or anything unless they're family has serious connections.

11-27-2010, 01:17 PM	#19
BostonDoctorTTT Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 434 Senior Member	When I posted this thread I had my oppositions but I hoped someone would say them for me. Well my turn then. I go to Columbia and a lot of Asian kids here come from well, Asian countries, not that many Asian American kids here. On top of that, many Asian guys will not be getting the highly educated and smart girls. Believe me, the people here at the Ivies are very racist in that regard, the White girls here may suck on a black cawk for a while but when it comes to marriage a large majority of them end up marrying Whites, Asian guys are not even on their list in most cases. In fact, EVEN THE ASIAN GIRLS here go for White guys. Second, Asian kids LACK independence. I have seen many who don't live on their own, they live with their moms and dad even when they go to college. Mom and dad are in the same town as them and rarely let them move away far. The lack of independence skills means they cannot balance well, a lot of them cannot do things American kids can like work, focus on grades and balance that out with social life. Why? Strict parents. Another thing, Asian kids LACK tolerance for failure and that is good except a lot of them go emo when they get their first F, believe me, in college at something you will get your first F. It isn't uncommon for them to hang themselves from a ceiling fan for getting a bad grade on an exam. Another point. Going to an Ivy, ESPECIALLY for your undergrad in no way shape or form guarantees success. In fact it is so competitive you need to be a hyper competitive blue whale in this ocean in order to survive and put up a good resume for grad school. Yea it is tough to flunk out of an Ivy but very easy to get overlooked and washed away with the competition. Thing is, Asian kids end up lacking social skills, independent skills (living on your own and working and balancing it all out) and other skills useful in life in trade for academic skills. It is pretty easy to make All A's compared to other kids when you don't have to work and fend for yourself. Then AGAIN, that can be a good thing. This thread is dry, I would like more debate Well I was speaking from a 1.5 generation Asian American point of view. I know its def. harder for international kids or Asians that migrated here more recently because they have a hard time adjusting to American culture. But from a strictly Asian American point of view, I would disagree with you that Asian guys have a tough time getting with Asian girls in college, at least in the Northeast. I've met Asian girls, usually from NYC that prefer Asian guys over all other guys, including white guys. I think you are over generalizing when you say Asian girls only want go for white guys in college. I went to University of Rochester, I know its not an Ivy but its still a top 35 school(same rank and NYU) and from my experience Asian girls did NOT favor white guys over Asian guys. Also I've also seen a good share of Asian guys, usually ones that join white frats, get with white girls. In addition Asian guys that join Asian or multicultural fraternities have no problems getting with sorority girls from Asian or multicultural sororites. I've also observed the same thing at Rutgers, albeit a lower ranked state school, when I took some classes there. Asian American guys there generally don't have a major problem with dating. Bottomline is that Asian guys are not disadvantaged because they Asian. The ones that have problems with dating are the onces that lack confidence, not because of their race, and I don't think that correlates with Asian parenting. If you lack confidence and assertiveness and not a Brad Pitt look alike, you will fail at dating regardless of what race you are. The lack of independence I think its partly true, but I've never heard of Asian parents making their kids live at home instead of campus. Then again I went to school in the middle of nowhere. But if I were to hazard a guess as to why some Asian parents do that, its because of financial reasons and they can't afford the board which is so freaking expensive for Ivies. They want to use that money to buy a house so their family can have some property to pass on to their kids. I will disagree with the lack of tolerance for failure. Recent suicides or homicides in my school have all been white kids who are science majors or who were hazed badly while pledging a frat. We've never in our history had an incidence where an Asian kid kill himself or did anything stupid like that. Going to a top school of course does not guarantee success, but because Asian kids have better work ethnics than other ethnicities, they are LESS likely to drop out or fail at their major. Of course its hyper competitive in this job market right now and its tough to find a job. HOWEVER, the beauty about this country is that playing field is even for all races. Its not like whites are having an easier time finding or job or anything unless they're family has serious connections.
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