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**OccabsLam** · 06-08-2010, 01:56 PM

nara,

Dear NN,

Alright, we have agreement, tradition is only good to the extent it makes sense to each individual. Acharya's words may be final for some, but it need not be the final word for everyone. In this context, expressing one's revulsion against abhorrent practices, some of which may still be followed, is not automatically disgusting or disrespectful to elders.

when someone accepts a acharya,its lifetime committment,just as in marriage.the acharya may allow you to be tied to a stump with looooooooooooooooooooong rope for one to graze as if one is a cow,knowing fully well the sishya is grazing the green pastures.a acharya will never break a bond while a sishya may owing to delusional thinking.that is paramparam of our gurukula system.even though many of us are not attending gurukulams,but the tradition of guru is very much revered.

this topic about widow being a eye-sore treatment is disgusting.when my widowed mother refused to come in front of the ceremonies,i insisted so dangerously,that my relatives yielded to my whim.i even has pictures taken with my mom,but she insisted my uncle & aunt do the honors during my marriage.she gave me a stupid reasoning of acharyals don't permit it.more often when it suited,acharyals were selectively chosen by my elders,which by itself was so infuriating for me.either do everything the acharyas says or dont act as if you are one great sishyas.thankfully she did not insist having her hair sheared nor resort to wearing a white sari,though some things she did follow.so,basically ara-korai followers.she never visited acharyas,as she knew the customs.nor did i insist and i stopped visiting the matam itself.for me my mother is prathama guru then only everybody else.

she did remove her thirumangalyam though and melted it for future generaion of daughter-in-law with a new design.my wife wears it and i told her the significance of it.living in india,these have symbolic meaning behind it.the culture and tradition,for women was indeed very honorable.present generation of women,are a mixed bag.they question 'why' of every religious ceremony and so the boys also are part of the bandwagon.these are symbolic representation of a 'show' to honor & protect.by not following it,nothing is going to happen to anybody,unless one wants to keep these traditions alive,as heritage.

No NN, I have always tried to be as open and straight forward in the forum as possible. There is no mischievousness on my part. I ask you not base your empathy on who is asking the question, but on the justice or injustice of a given practice.

Okay, that is it from my side on this topic .....

Cheers! what can i say about,whether it was justice or injustice.i personally feel women shud be treated well,and made not to undergo many painful practices of segregation.but to say,women were treated badly,is wrong,becoz the love such widowed women got from extended family,when joint famly system was in existence,was truly unbelievable.today,if parenst were just able to live even with their own kids,its a miracle.so,tradition has its place,but inability to convince or influence in a logical manner is amiss,owing to cinema,drama,media blitz,educational impartataion of knowledge..so life is becoming artificial,to some extent,but then everything changes from generation to generation.

06-08-2010, 01:56 PM	#23
OccabsLam Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 396 Senior Member	nara, Dear NN, Alright, we have agreement, tradition is only good to the extent it makes sense to each individual. Acharya's words may be final for some, but it need not be the final word for everyone. In this context, expressing one's revulsion against abhorrent practices, some of which may still be followed, is not automatically disgusting or disrespectful to elders. when someone accepts a acharya,its lifetime committment,just as in marriage.the acharya may allow you to be tied to a stump with looooooooooooooooooooong rope for one to graze as if one is a cow,knowing fully well the sishya is grazing the green pastures.a acharya will never break a bond while a sishya may owing to delusional thinking.that is paramparam of our gurukula system.even though many of us are not attending gurukulams,but the tradition of guru is very much revered. this topic about widow being a eye-sore treatment is disgusting.when my widowed mother refused to come in front of the ceremonies,i insisted so dangerously,that my relatives yielded to my whim.i even has pictures taken with my mom,but she insisted my uncle & aunt do the honors during my marriage.she gave me a stupid reasoning of acharyals don't permit it.more often when it suited,acharyals were selectively chosen by my elders,which by itself was so infuriating for me.either do everything the acharyas says or dont act as if you are one great sishyas.thankfully she did not insist having her hair sheared nor resort to wearing a white sari,though some things she did follow.so,basically ara-korai followers.she never visited acharyas,as she knew the customs.nor did i insist and i stopped visiting the matam itself.for me my mother is prathama guru then only everybody else. she did remove her thirumangalyam though and melted it for future generaion of daughter-in-law with a new design.my wife wears it and i told her the significance of it.living in india,these have symbolic meaning behind it.the culture and tradition,for women was indeed very honorable.present generation of women,are a mixed bag.they question 'why' of every religious ceremony and so the boys also are part of the bandwagon.these are symbolic representation of a 'show' to honor & protect.by not following it,nothing is going to happen to anybody,unless one wants to keep these traditions alive,as heritage. No NN, I have always tried to be as open and straight forward in the forum as possible. There is no mischievousness on my part. I ask you not base your empathy on who is asking the question, but on the justice or injustice of a given practice. Okay, that is it from my side on this topic ..... Cheers! what can i say about,whether it was justice or injustice.i personally feel women shud be treated well,and made not to undergo many painful practices of segregation.but to say,women were treated badly,is wrong,becoz the love such widowed women got from extended family,when joint famly system was in existence,was truly unbelievable.today,if parenst were just able to live even with their own kids,its a miracle.so,tradition has its place,but inability to convince or influence in a logical manner is amiss,owing to cinema,drama,media blitz,educational impartataion of knowledge..so life is becoming artificial,to some extent,but then everything changes from generation to generation.
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