[BaselBimbooooo]

This is a serious post for which I am not normally noted.

But I do need some advice on something which is delicate to say the least.

I believe a fellow Martial artist is liking me in a way that I would not welcome.

I have been told that he talks about me all the time. I have also been made aware that he has a habit of writing my name down quite often.

Although we no longer have regular contact I have been told by mutual acquaintances that he gets all hot and sweaty when he talks about me.

I realise these people could well be just trying to wind me up which is fine as then there is no problem (apart from possibly some paranoia on my part) - but if it is true how should I manage it?

I don't wish to come across as mean or hurt his feelings but my type tend to be A - female, B- voluptuous, C- good sense of humour, D - nice figure, not skinny, E- don't take themselves too seriously.

And he does not fit this at all.

Any thoughts?

[Sliliashdes]

I wouldn't worry about it in the least unless he directly tries hitting on you (in a non-kendo way). If he has fantasies about you... no big deal. If it becomes a distraction to the dojo or to you directly then just tell him you're not interested. But I wouldn't be too proactive about it... like I say if it is his little fantasy but doesn't really impact anything (so to speak ) then don't spend any time worrying about it.

[23InetrySypekek]

You know I really find it hard to take this question seriously and expect you to reveal this person to be Johnty!

However, if you are serious, treat it the same way you would if it were a girl (i.e. ignore it). Only, if they make a pass at you say, you're straight as opposed to not interested.

After all, if it were a girl, you wouldn't seek her out and say "I hear you fancy me, I'm sorry but I'm not interested". Mainly cause if they replied with "what? I'm don't fancy you!" you'd feel a right Muppet.

Simple. At the end of the day, unwanted attention is exactly the same be it male of female.

EDIT: Oh, Mike beat me (snigger) to it.

Damn! I missed a great opportunity to tell you not to beat him off like some brigand!

[HBPujWBe]

You know I really find it hard to take this question seriously and expect you to reveal this person to be Johnty!

Oh dear. You realise we are now likely to get some tirade from him - aimed at me as usual.........sigh

[leoto5Fm]

I was thinking the same thing, buddy.

But seriously - I agree that unwanted attention of the same gender is the same as the opposite gender but easier cos you have that "I'm straight" way of getting around it.

You also have the other advantage that should be enough for anyone. Just say you're taken and have three kids. If they still persist, ignore them cos they're an idiot.

[FailiaFelay]

Sats, start by changing your signature!!

bend like a willow in the breeze...... :P

Seriously now, I agree with the above, been in a very similar situation myself (not in the Dojo), if he happens to ask say no thanks, and don't lead him on (for example: by going for a pint with him thinking you are being nice, he might take it the wrong way).

Other than that make sure your mates are not winding you up

[TriammaMade]

I agree, ignore it. Although that might not always work... I was once in a gay nightclub with some (gay obviously) friends of mine. Got chatted up by a guy, politely declined saying I was straight, he persisted in trying to convince me I was in denial and kept saying "Well if you're straight why are you here then?". The worst part was when he followed me to the toilet to continue to try to convince me. Ended up with me protesting my heterosexuality quite loudly to get him to go away, I even ended up practically groping some lesbian friends of mine to get the message across. Not a pleasant situation.
But I tell people about it and it gets a good laugh, hmmmm... actually Sats. Come to think of it, perhaps you should just embrace the horror, most of my most outrageous stories involve going out drinking with some of my gay friends. hehehe

Mike

[Overlord]

I think this is Sat's cry for help.


You should be flattered, as it seems you appear handsomely to both sexes.

But failing that,
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

[Teligacio]

he persisted in trying to convince me I was in denial and kept saying I usually find a good answer to that is "Listen, I don't give you shit for being gay/bi so don't give me shit for being straight". Oddly though, I've never had a problem in a gay nightclub.. prolly cos I'm drinking or dancing in a literally tight group of friends.

Viking Kittens! Kenzan, you rock. I first saw their Gay Bar years ago and love it. Almost as kooky as the original film clip!

[Dwerfsd]

Oddly though, I've never had a problem in a gay nightclub.. prolly cos I'm drinking or dancing in a literally tight group of friends.

That reminds me of a joke....

I was at the club the other night and was horrified to see two men kissing each other. "WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT?!! THAT'S REVOLTING!" ....said I as I turned to the man I was dancing with.....

[alanamosteller]

ALL RIGHT! GAY LOVE!

Tick that box dude, 2 for 1 on vaseline at superdrug just now.

And MikeH, groping lesbians is never anything but a pleasant situation.

So sayeth the ruler.

[sydramySweame]

Is all coming out now....

"...funny story, I just happened to be wearing a pair of white speedos and the cowboy boots and hat for a cosutme party and tripped and fell into a gay bar, and then..."

[brurdefdoro]

Must...resist...temptation...to...type.

However, + rep to MikeH on the new and innovative technique.

[GfBTWMmV]

And MikeH, groping lesbians is never anything but a pleasant situation.

Say that after you've been one of only two men present at a lesbian nightclub, sounds like it should be every mans fantasy, how uncomfortable the reality is...

Mike

[tsamprasxx]

Say that after you've been one of only two men present at a lesbian nightclub, sounds like it should be every mans fantasy, how uncomfortable the reality is...

Mike

It would hardly be the first time where I could be certain that no female in the room was interested.

[gooseCile]

My advice would be to stop dressing like one of the Village People and lose the Judy Garland albums.

[Enfotanab]

ah how quickly this thread derailed
poor sats
do i know this person too?

if it really is causing you problems i suggest you talk quietly somewhere and gently let him down
my dojo crush never turned up again so i didnt get the chance, but if you are teaching him also it could cause issues
just send him to our club, no chance of him falling for tim

[Promalada]

If it really is causing you problems i suggest you talk quietly somewhere and gently let him down...

[Theateetetuig]

dude be carefull how you handle him just incase he is the obsesive type,telling him you are not gay wont deture him at all he probaley allready knows that . egnore him as best you can . if he does crack on to you tell him you allready have a boy friend and are not interested .this may seem extreame but it is your best chance for sucsess for him to lose interest in you ,failing that tell him to fuck off down south with all the other poofs

[chuecaloversvvp]

Go ahead an inhale...you can just smell the tolerance. He writes your name down, Sats? Are you sure this isn't a 13 year-old girl? If he is obsessed with you, just reverse the whole thing by...

1. Finding where he's at, then snap a couple of pictures of him. When he approaches you, giggle like a schoolgirl, and sprint away from him. Make sure you do this at least twice.

2. Bake him some gingerbread men, bite all the crotches off of them. Now give him the gingerbread men, and don't forget to say " it doesn't matter how hard they tried to get away, I always get them in the end."

3. Ask him if you can have some of his hair, while he is still in the middle of asking why, reveal your hand which has marker eyes, and lipstick. In a squeaky voice say, "Cuz I'm hungry!".