teenage angst or a little insight into thai culture
 

HI

Seems like my Thai teenage stepson has gotten himself and family into
a domestic problem. He 17 spent the night with a 13 yr old girl.
now the father has threatend to kill him or send him to jail and wanted
300,000 baht. payment also.

the story though goes like this.

everyone warned son to stay away from this girl as she is bad news and her dad is a drunk and very crazy. people are afraid of him even his own family.

the girl came to stepson's village everybody told her to leave but she wouldn't go. she found step son and told him her dad had beat her again and she was afraid to go home. so she stayed with him the night. the next morning the girls family found her and stepson.

then the talking and negotiations began. my stepson's immediate family were all scared and didn't get much sleep for the first few days. the girls family wanted to talk to my wife and she how much she was going to pay.
My wife was mad and told son she wasn't going to pay and he could go to jail.

But she can't tell girls family that. She has to be very civil or else could be much violence casue the girls father is crazy,

she has been talking to girls grandfather to arrange payment as the father is too drunk and hot headed to talk too. she has gotten it down to 40,000 baht so far. and family is keeping stepson out of sight.
the threat of jail is mute as son is only 17

If this had happened in the USA I would have called the police and had girls father arrested for child abuse and death threats.
but in Thailand calling the police would only cause more problems as they would do nothing and it would make the father more mad.

the reason the father wanted so much money was because the girl is so beautiful. and I think because he knows I am farangs and all thai's think farangs have money.

I am now starting to understand more the Thai idea of sin sodt.

Young girls are thought of as a commodity. to make money
young boys are a liability. family has to take care of and pay for all their mistakes.

Many Thai familys have lost all their lands haveing to sell them to pay for
young men's sexual tryst or drunken accidents.

it's always the parents that have to pay for childrens mistakes and accidents.

So if you are thinking about marriage with older Thai lady with teenage children, realize you wil be financially responsible for them.

On a lighter side note

when my wife first called the grandfather she kept saying on the phone I can't hear you must be bad connection but I was sitting next to her and I could hear him fine. after phone call I asked her.
she said it was a way out if she got mad she could just hang up and he would think the phone connection was lost and not get mad at her for hanging up.

> If this had happened in the USA I would have called the police and had girls father arrested for child abuse and death threats.

correct me if I'm wrong, but I think in the US the boy would be charged with corrupting a child (I don't know the proper legal terms)

I too hope it will work out for the best.

To be fair I think most dads would not approve of finding their 13 y o daughter in such circumstances altho in this case it seems to be only himself to blame.

This is actully quite common. The large payment isn't much to do with you being a foreigner. A couple of months ago the parents of a grade 9 student threatened to take her boyfriend to court for sleeping with her. He is in the same class. They demanded a large payment.

There is an escape clause if someone sleeps with a girl under 15 according to section 277 of the criminal code:

“If the offender being the man commits against the girl over thirteen but not yet over fifteen years of age with her consent and the court grants such man and girl to marry together afterwards, the offender shall not be punished for such offense. If the Court grants them to marry together during the time the offender is imprisoned, the Court shall release such offender.” Source: thai-blogs.com

"I am now starting to understand more the Thai idea of sin sodt."

No, you are still hung up on the farang idea of it. This situation has nothing to do with sin sodt.

In a village environment, we're talking moms, dads, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles and tons of cousins. Might be time to move!

I think that would be my first reaction too - at least until I calmed down and thought more about it. I honestly don't know how I would handle the situation. I hope all works out - a real tough situation - no doubt.

Hi
yes in USA if he was over 18 it is Statutory Rape even if consenual.
but if under 18 no.legal charges if consenual
I in no way condone his behavior he has been a thorn in my wifes side
but he is family.
I was only trying to show the difference's in the cultures.
but unfortunately his actions are common for thai youth.

He turns 18 in November We hope he grows up by then .if not more problems for him.

I'm just checking that by "spent the night" you do mean xxxxxxxxxx just letting her sleep in his room.

Corruption of a minor, but generally the term used is "Statutory Rape"

http://www.cga.ct.gov/2003/olrdata/j...003-R-0376.htm

Amazing!

Since amendments in the Criminal Code of 2007, seduction of a child under the age 15 entails 4-20 imprisonment regardless to whether the victim is a girl or a boy. Obviously the parents of this certain girl hadn't spoken to their lawyer yet before demanding this or that.

17 years of age? He can still go to prison all right (when he's 18 after juvenile detantion centre), no doubt about that.
However, since he's below the age of 18 the court have to take into account the lad's sense of reponsibility. If the court feels the lad knew exactly that what he was doing was wrong, then he could be punished with one half of the normal sentence. So, he can go down for 2-10 years incarceration.
This is clearly a case of 'he's over the age of consent and she ain't'

Or, as Richard rightly pointed out, Section 277 of the Criminal Code offers an escape route (totally opens the way to scamming wads of money). This now only applies to offenders between the age of 15-18.

I think it depends on which states, at least according to the material I read, some will charge u no matter what.

My point wasnt really pointing finger at ur stepson. Its not really uncommon for young guys to end up in situations like this, but I think no matter which culture its not really appreciated by the girls parents.