[Usogwdkb]

For some time I have worked with a Thai friend to construct an extension to their house in the North of Thailand. His mother lives there at the moment.
After his wish we put a second floor on the back of the house with a room and a covered balcony. He probably wanted to use this as his own room now or later when he is there.
Now, talking back and fort, doing suggestions, working out the details, etc, etc, suddenly he said that he could not sleep in the new room, because his mother had a room on the ground floor. So the old woman would have to sleep upstairs to get things right!
Well, I did not get mad, I was expecting something like this, only I did not know what and when it would come
I do not get a good explanation why he could not sleep upstairs when his mother is sleeping downstairs. Any ideas?
I told him that his mother would have the better room downstairs as it is cooler, and that the bathroom is at that level. Better for her. But suddenly rules are rules...
And, of course, the everlasting problem... why doesn't he think of this before?? GRRR.
Any suggestion to solve the problem?

[esconsise]

He probably doesn't want is feet pointing down at his mother when he walks around upstairs.

[monologue]

Was it specifically stated originally that the mother would sleep downstairs when the extension was built? Does it really matter that mother sleeps upstairs?
Visionchaser might be right, and anway now you are closer to the bathroom.

[Fvmfrctt]

This type action, changing minds after the fact is common. What sounded good yesterday may not be right today.

[Usogwdkb]

Thanks all,
and Sparky; Yes she has been living downstairs in her own room for 20 years, and I think she would like to stay there until she dies. And I will agree with her. And what is this problem with feet? They are the cleanest people I can think of, changing clothes, socks and shoes all the time. So their feet cannot be "unclean"
They are traditional Thai Buddhists, now and then they keep all kind of "strange" rules, and other times they are choosing the most comfortable way. But my argument that it is more convenient for her doesn't seem to help this time.

[Fvmfrctt]

seems you've spent alot of baht on your house extension project. Wood is expensive these days in thailand. Hard work to construct the second floor room with overhang. You probably feel you have a say in things now. A kind of control. The way fareign folks solve is to try to figure out a solution to where someone is going to sleep in this case. To try to discover the why's of things. That is not going to work for you or few other non thais. . Simply let those involved in sleeping in that house do the figuring.

[ireleda]

changing clothes, socks and shoes all the time. So their feet cannot be "unclean"
Where in Thailand do they wear socks and shoes, maybe as business people in the city, but where in the outback do they wear anything but flip flops?
But it makes no diff anyway as feet are supposed to be nasty according to Thai, even with clean socks and shoes it is still a no no to let someone see your shoe soles pointed in their direction,, damn silly I know, but thats what happens here.

[esconsise]

We had to arrange our bed so our feet would point away from the Buddha in the another room. I also had to put the sofa where my feet wouldn't point that way when I lay down when watching TV. How long have you been in Thailand that you are unaware of the foot issue?

[ireleda]

Don't know about Issan but over here the head of the bed can not point west,, somehow that is very bad,
We don't have a Buda in our house so I wouldn't know about that.

[Mjyzpzph]

Don't know about Issan but over here the head of the bed can not point west,, somehow that is very bad,
We don't have a Buda in our house so I wouldn't know about that.

I have never heard of that before, but can say that everyone in our house sleeps with their head pointing eastwards.

David

[Fvmfrctt]

Asked the wife about the upstairs sleeping thing. Her first words were "bop" rymes with pop. Respect for the elderly mother. Elder must sleep above the younger Not the other way around. Elder mother probably does not want to walk up the stairs to the higher room. Well, thats her thought. Up to the mother I think to settle the matter with her son. Those things we learn while growing up. Difficult to change perception.

[Arkadiyas]

"bop" What does bop mean?

[Fvmfrctt]

Wife indicates a word for respect. Phonetic spelling. Could be Lao. Also similiar in another way . Monks in a temple always sit a little higher than the people that come to worship at the temple. Certain kind of respect. Baop, downword pronunciation. TG DON? Got any idea on this.?

[Usogwdkb]

Respect is the answer. And everybody sleeps heading east.
I think he has so much respect for his mother that he doesn't want to make it a problem for her. So when he visits he will sleep somewhere downstairs and wait until the problem solves itself...
About the feet problem, I got the impression that it doesn't work between floors, but I might have given him an idea...