[UnduttRit]

Since arriving in Thailand a long long time ago, no other question has been put to me as often as this one:

Why do the Farang only like dark-skinned girls?

I find it quite difficult to answer this question because im not sure if it is generally true or not. Is it just that the guy can not find any other girl (who is not dark-skinned) to be his girlfriend??

Or is it true that most Farang are bored of fair-skinned girls as that is all they ever see back home? and dont find the Thai-Chinese attractive.

Please give us some opinions so I that I will be able to give the Thais a decent answer the next time I am asked!

[gedsiz]

Hi,stevesuphan
Yeah count me in too ka i do wannna know ka.. Is that true tat most falangs like Thai dark-skinned gals? coz when i see Falangs in thailand - i always see that..

[Caursedus]

being a farang I prefer fair skin girls the most and the lighter the better, with natural blond hair, maybe because this is my colouring, but I know many Farangs who like a girl with a tan.
About the colour of Asian girls, I prefer the ones with the lighter skin colour over the dark ones, but that is just me.
But rather than just looking at skin colour, I think farang men prefer skin that is of soft, smooth and even texture and the colour is of secondary importance.
The problem with many western woman is they don't look after there skin like an Asian woman, genetically white woman were designed for cold climates with little sun light, but they instead spend hours every year exposing there skin in the sun in hot climates. As a result of this white woman ages very quickly, have terrible uneven blotchy skin and by the age of 25 years old look 40 years old.
Now on the other hand, Asian woman avoid the sun at all cost, there skin looks very smooth and unblemished, they look much younger, and that's why Farang Men like dark skin Asians, as that is there natural colour and there skin is in excellent condition.
Now even thought I prefer a fair skin girl, unless I go to Sweden and find a girl who never travels out of her country, it is rare to find a white girl who looks after her skin, so under those circumstances I prefer a Thai woman, who has good skin, who is genetically designed for a hot climate, but still stays out of the sun to look her best.

[RokeIdeadioke]

At last, a question I think this old man may be able to answer. Hopefully.
Having enjoyed two wonderful marriages with Thai wives, and their children, I feel the colour of the skin is only the initial attraction. Yes, I did, and still do, find the colouring and build of the average Thai most attractive. But on passing beyond the colour, one finds some extremely attractive personalities, very caring and exceptionally perceptive. Appreciative of you, (me?) and very caring.
I used to tell the children that if all the people of the world were put into a couldron and well stirred, the result would be a world populated by people of a Thai colour.I used to add that it was my fervent prayer that the temperament and personality would prevail too.
Doubtless I could find these assets in europeans too,but all in one woman? and twice over? I doubt it very much. I know I have been very fortunate, but I put that down to looking in the right place, Thailand.

[textarchive]

I noticed that too. I think there might be many reasons.

First, we have to consider what kind of people come to Thailand for the reason to have girlfriends here. Then we have to consider what kind of losers come over here for marrying one.

And finally, we will have to consider what kind of desperate situation a girl has to suffer, to seek out a member of the above-mentioned species.

Elaborate more on it later.

[Casyimipist]

Agreed Seeker.

Personally I prefer dark skin, my ex-wife was black. I was a rare one where I live, most people here date other white people. But the way I view it is just that 'people'. We are all people, but in regards to personal tastes yes I prefer dark skin. Not exactly asian or even a foreigner just a darker complextion. Some men prefer brunettes, blondes etc. I am just more attracted to dark skin.

I am concerned for Paul_au though, I thought he was going through a healing process until I seen what he really said above. Paul_au you are a 'free-thinker', why do you feel compelled to stick within the bounds of which you are raised? I mean you say you date 'pure' white because that is what you are. That appears rascist at best, and at worst certainly not a 'free thinking' elitist as you have mentioned that is class of which you have come from. Quite disturbing, and I was starting to like you not only on an entertaining level.

[LomodiorCon]

My view from my person viewpoint and little experience.

I think people search for love and are attracted to those from who they believe they 'can be loved' by. And of course in our cases of vanity, we sometimes search for those who we can buy 'love' from. The latter is an illusion, if its true partner one is looking for.

When farangs attract to dark skin people, I think maybe its because they see an innocent native in them, as we are often seen in books. Who will offer them uncomplicated love. No?

Just like in villages, girls dream of the fair king who comes and takes her into a world of peace and harmony and greater freedom... away from the stereotype hardships she is bound to end up in - alongwith a stereotype husband and lifestyle?

Of course there is a third possibility, which is neither the above and purely circumstantial... which is that you are not looking for something by intention... it to some degree... happens.

I really do not agree with Seeker here... about losers theory. Earler I fet so and would think so. Now, I believe that whatever the cause of your bond with another person - stress or motivation or something in-between, or nothing - attraction is just a propoganda. What matters is are you honest? do you respect other people? Do you want to make the effort in a relationship?

For once the propoganda phase is over, we end up into a new world with our partners. and then on, its a new story about nurturing a relationship and learning life through each other. Chances are that we will be loving the person for reasons poles apart the reasons we first began with. And then, when people try to remind you why you were attracted in the very first place - you will find it hard to remember. No?

of course, as I mentioned earlier, we have to be honest, respectful and ready to put our energies for the other.

Why do I think so? Because I think I have lived life from both ends!!! Being brown helps you understand all, except not everyone understands which side of the scale you lie in!!! LOL!

[Podosinovik]

Paul, I hope you take time to sit back and think through your experiences. And if there are bad ones. I urge you to get over them. Let the healing process begin.

I have been hurt (emotionally and financially) in the past too by a relationship with a Thai lady that failed, and it was all so easy to blame her for everything. But I have learnt to see that she has also suffered as a result (even financially herself). We both have put in a lot of time and emotions into the relation. So today, not only we bore no ill-feelings towards each other, we have managed to remain as friends. Not easy, perhaps, but if the r/s was based on proper intentions and principles in the 1st place, why not?

[valiumcheepval]

I personally find women attractive whatever colour their skin is,if they are attractive to me then skin colour or tone is not important.

[RokgroofeTeme]

Oh my, that question again... In Thailand, many of my friends were shocked that I didn't seem to care about getting dark (not that I'm at any risk of that... ), others, who either had encountered some tourists at beaches or had heard stories about them found it hard to believe that I never ever took a sun bath. So, they asked, you like white skin. Not particularly, I said. Would you like to have dark skin, then? Nope, neither that.
I spent quite some time explaining to people that I dindn't care what exact colour my skin is/gets, I just don't want to end up with a sun burn, that's all. I don't want to waste my time with sun-bathing and risk skin cancer, but I don't care about being exposed to the sun when I do any outdoor activities, as long as I have my sun cream with me. For that reason (always having to remember not to forget the sun-cream) I do think that in places like thailand dark skin would be something useful to have.
As for the looks, I'm glad we do not all look the same. Going around asking what is more beatiful is not the right way to look at it, in my opinion.
Personally, I'm happy with the colour I have, and if I had any other colour I would be just as happy with it.

[Casyimipist]

Trangam I really see what Seeker is saying about the loser theory. Actually what you said lies very closely to what Seeker is implying. Quite simply there is a very large number of men who view some other cultures as the 'innocent native' as you put it. Also lying within the same concept is the 'ideal sub-serviant, quiet, heart full of nothing but respect and admiration for the man in her life' idea.

So really your two opinions are very related.

The way sociologists sort the love process out is quite simply, attraction first, infatuation next, then ending in love. In most cases it is only possible to fall in love with someone that you are first attracted to. Worked that way for most people I know personally as well.

Unfortunately this being the way humans work and think, also leads to much heartbreak and failed relationships. People seeking the ideal look as well as personality, of course is not good, but the look is always the start of a relationship. How many of you have said well I kinda thought that he or she was ugly, but I have grown to love them?

Just doesn't happen.

[Knillagrarp]

I am a "loser" who married a Thai lady. Funny, being this happy, I hardly feel like a loser. My wife is a beautiful and caring woman, who is respected by me as my friend and partner in life. She is accepted by my family and I by hers. I would have to agree with khunlungphudhu, except I do not think that the positive experience generalizes to all Thai women any more than other generalizations apply to all farang women. Why some people just have to hate I cannot understand.

I, like Stacker, have always prefered dark-complected women. I grew up in a neighborhood dominated by Italian-Americans. I am also part Native-American and have always wanted to have children that are more dark-haired and dark-eyed. I cannot tolerate intolerance of people, simply because they are seeking happiness in this life. I guess bitterness, envy, spite, or whatever has to seep out and be directed at others. The only advice I can offer such individuals is that they focus on finding happiness of their own, instead of worrying about what other people are doing to find theirs.

[Casyimipist]

As a side point to clarify my standing on the issue and generalizations made on both parts of the men and the women, I would like to say a few things.

First one must understand the type of person Seeker was speaking about. I can only assume he is talking about the 'losers' who spend their time in PatPong, enjoying the 'night-life' that certain areas offer. This person is a loser not because of what they are doing so much as what they are not doing.

They are not trying to experience Thailand and the many things the country has to offer. They are interested in one thing in Thailand and that is nearly it. They do not make any attempt to learn about the Thai people or language, with of course exception to the word Tao Rai. Nor do they care about the well-being of the Thai ladies as they often choose not to protect anything, in any way.

These people are losers, anyone who denies this really needs to question themselves as to why they are at a place like this website instead of yahoo.com

Obviously the man who marries a Thai woman is not the loser that we are speaking of. As a matter of fact, I am sure that even Seeker may find a lovely young woman to have him as a husband. That certainly would not put Seeker in the place deserving the title loser. We know he has gone much deeper into the culture to deserve such a title.

But the title loser certainly does apply to a large majority of men in Thailand currently and those holding tickets, saving their money to enjoy each and every night of their getting things and doing things they can not do in their home land.

I agree with your last paragraph Visionchaser, that is why I felt the need to reply with above. The people who use these forums clearly are not after one thing in Thailand. We all dig very hard into the culture, I think it was important to make it very clear that there is a difference in the man who is married to a Thai woman, and the man 'in search of a Thai wife'.

[Derrida]

On the idea of attraction - I think possibly it is that the exotic catches the eye.

Having grown up in the US, I have had many guy friends tell me that they have a taste for dark-skinned women because the exotic look catches their eye. The combination of golden brown or black skin with silky black hair and deep dark eyes is something that catches their eye.

Of course, I also think that in places like the Middle East or Africa, a woman with porcelain white skin and blond hair would be an exotic sight that would catch the eye there.

It's just my "2 cents" - but I think the initial attraction is an interest in the exotic. What it develops into is more and depends on how the relationship goes from that initial meeting.

[Casyimipist]

Well LOL that is a great idea. Very funny to think about. Very possible I guess. I knew my wife well before we bagan our relationship. I knew she talked alot, I knew she let her oldest child get away with murder and control her in many ways. I knew she was a demanding person. I certainly never considered her to be the 'exotic'.

But I was attracted to her. I am not saying anything negative about any culture, I am sure if I looked hard enough, for enough years, I could maybe find a white woman with the same disposition as my wife. Many white women are attractive even in my eyes. But personality makes the case. The personality I found just happened to be in an asian woman for me.

But I think you are right Prajantr it starts with attraction and sometimes moves beyond.

[Farson]

Quote[/b] (prajantr @ Jan. 18 2005,00:22)]On the idea of attraction - I think possibly it is that the exotic catches the eye.

Having grown up in the US, I have had many guy friends tell me that they have a taste for dark-skinned women because the exotic look catches their eye. The combination of golden brown or black skin with silky black hair and deep dark eyes is something that catches their eye.

Of course, I also think that in places like the Middle East or Africa, a woman with porcelain white skin and blond hair would be an exotic sight that would catch the eye there.

It's just my "2 cents" - but I think the initial attraction is an interest in the exotic. What it develops into is more and depends on how the relationship goes from that initial meeting.

Exactly my thoughts ! lol I wanted to post that as well

I would like to add that imo it also depends on whether you are living in a multicultural society or not. I think it matters whether you get used to living amongst different 'exotic' cultures or perhaps never have seen one before.

Personally I slightly prefer dark-skinned women, but that doesn't mean I don't like the light-skinned ladies. Actually, I like 'em all

[Farson]

As for the 'losers' mentioned above, people who can't get a girl in their own country and as a result go to Patpong to 'buy' what they couldn't get at home are losers, period.

@Stacker: what is wrong with yahoo.com

[Caursedus]

Quote[/b] ]I am concerned for Paul_au though, I thought he was going through a healing process until I seen what he really said above. Paul_au you are a 'free-thinker', why do you feel compelled to stick within the bounds of which you are raised? I mean you say you date 'pure' white because that is what you are.

I not just date white woman, I'm most attracted to very fair skin white woman physically more than any other type of woman. A close second is light coloured Asian woman. 3rd on my list are honey skin Asian woman. Black woman, have no physical attraction for me.
I usually go out with Asian woman the most because I like there genteel nature, there cute faces and smooth skin. and that is why I have been out with many Thai woman.

[Casyimipist]

You had me worried Paul_au, thank you for clearing it up.

I should have been more descriptive when I said yahoo.com. What I meant is compare these forums and the ThaiChatBox we have to the equals on yahoo.com. Consider how their forums are so often diluted and disturbed by men seeking this one thing from Thailand. If that doesn't make you sick, spend a day or so in the yahoo chat rooms, and see how well the farang men treat the Thai women they meet in there.

The way they act on Yahoo is the exact reputation they have laid down for us in many cities of Thailand. One of major reason's I prefer not being in the cities, out of pure shame.

[Farson]

Ok now I understand, I thought you were talking about the search engine.