[Angeheade]

Hi all, new to the threads here and hope to be a regular as I was just in Thailand for a month...

However, I'm in need of some urgent help...

I made some wonderful friends while I was there, but also met an amazing woman. We exchanged addresses and phone numbers when I left, but I cannot dial her from the US...

The numbers she gave me are as follows
0011-06-0XXXXXX
as well as
00906XXXXXX

where XXXXXX is matching in both cases. While I was in Korat I was able to dial her usually just using the 06-0XXXXXX set, but now that I'm in the USA I have no way to dial as it just says "Invalid number".

From what I understand, I need to dial
011-66-citycode-XXXXXX

but, when I try that, again, invalid number...

I managed to get a Thai answering machine/voicemail of some sort when I removed all the 0's from the numbers she gave me, so dialing
011-66-9-6-XXXXXX

gave me a result of some sort, but I'm not sure if this is correct...


Its even worse because she just called me crying and was really upset that I hadn't called since I arrived back in the US 24 hours ago, and before I could get into explaining that I can't figure out how to dial her number the call was dropped...

Please help, I don't want to lose a good friend to a misunderstanding...

[Alex Photographer]

Is it a cell phone?

Try 011666XXXXXX for a cell phone or 01166citycodewithoutzeroXXXXX for a land line phone.

[Angeheade]

Yeah its a cellphone... I'll try that...

Didn't work, however 011-66-6-0XXXXXX connected partially, but then said all circuits are busy... argh!

Any other suggestions? I truly do appreciate your help!

[Angeheade]

Are the numbers without the city code 7 digits like the local calls in the US? Her last 7 begins with a 0... this is confusing, let me tell you...

[qilmuz6v]

XYAN,,,,011-66-6-0XXXXXX would be correct cell number, if you have to dial 011 for the international switch. 66 is thailand,, so guess you did get in but all circuits busy,,so just keep doing it and you will get thru,,but when you do, then her battery will die or she will run out of card or something else will go wrong.

Don't worry about the number count,,lots of numbers have different counts. not just all 7 numbers

Boy Love sure is difficult..

[Angeheade]

Thanks so much guys!

I figured it out right before you posted... whew! She was worried something had happened to me because my phone was on but I left it in the car when I got home... I had 25 missed calls... hehe

I'll agree completely though... love is difficult. I'm learning as much Thai as I can as fast as I can because her English is pretty limited and my Thai is only from a month of experiance. We could communicate very well in person, but over the phone is incredibly difficult...

Still, she's a wonderful woman... I really hope something becomes of this...

I'll definitely be a regular here!

[TainuibeFaimb]

Xyan, Glad to hear you were able to get through and welcome to the forums. I wish you the best of luck with your new relationship. I can attest that such relationships are difficult, but mine is a success. Do you plan to return to Thailand soon? Long-distance relationships are rough, and you will have to move pretty quickly if you expect it to last. I met my wife in December and went back to meet the family in May. By the following December I was meeting her at the Miami airport. Togetherness is good

[vladekad]

A very warm welcome to the forum! Hopefully you can learn as much from everyone as we all have. Too I am happy for you and your relationship. It is very nice to see real people connecting and maintaining a real relationship! Please feel free to post any questions or thoughts any time. The longer you are here the more you discover and too the more access to other areas you gain.

You are only at the very tip of the big iceburg, something you will find out soon enough on your own.

[verybigf]

You are only at the very tip of the big iceburg, something you will find out soon enough on your own.

I'm not sure if the iceburg metaphor was supposed to be a subtle warning, as in the iceburg might sink a relationship if you don't recognize it

Anyway, welcome xyan. You've probably noticed that there are some interesting discussions on relationship issues and language learning on this forum. I hope you can gain (and share) some information.

You may find the bookstore associated with this site at http://buythaibooks.com useful. There are several books and software packages available for Thai language, and for relationship issues I would personally recommend the book "Thailand Fever" http://buythaibooks.com/customer/pro...p?productid=60 which, in spite of the cover and the racy advertising copy, has a lot of useful information about "wholesome" relationships.

I can sympathise with your telephone problems. Even when language is not an issue communicating some things without the body-language signals to aid you can be difficult (and sometimes dangerous...). But better understanding of the language and culture of the other person helps a lot. Good luck!

[Angeheade]

Visionchaser: We're trying to plan a trip for her to visit the US in May, when she's on Holiday from school for a couple months- after that she's just a few months away from her degree. I'm actually pretty excited to show her the US and the differences in our culture- she's shown me her home and I've met most of her family; I'd like to do the same.

Any tips on getting her here for a visit? I'm doing some research on visas and what-not. I'll definitely be searching these forums for info. too!


iGotNoTime: thanks much! I'll be around, for sure... I know this is going to be difficult for us, but I'm all for it... you treasure that which you struggle for.


mikenz66: I saw someone recommend that book in another article... pretty tempted to buy it so I know what to expect- already some things I've read here have me thinking- nothing good or bad, just wondering what will happen next. I appreciate it though! Thanks much!


See you around!

[TainuibeFaimb]

These are the ultimate authorities on visa stuff. http://www.unitedstatesvisas.gov/obt...isa/index.html http://bangkok.usembassy.gov/embassy/index.htm http://uscis.gov Get your information here and you will have no problems knowing what to do. I do not personally know much about tourist visas, but I have heard they are quite difficult to get. I think she needs to post 1 million baht (~$25000) to guarantee she will return to Thailand when her visa expires, but I have also heard that other "evidence" of intent is also possible. Good luck.

[qilmuz6v]

And they can tell you what you will need to obtain a visa, but it used to be a job when you return or own property or some other reason that would cause you to return, such as family standing. But probibly just like the Thai and how they feel that day and how you impress them. I hope this helps.

On January 19, 2006, the U.S. Embassy launched a nationwide visa information and appointment system. Anyone applying for a non-immigrant visa in Thailand must make an appointment by accessing the “Visa Information and Appointment Website and Call Center Service” by Internet or telephone. To use this service, you must purchase a Personal Identification Number (PIN) online or by phone using a credit card or at a participating Thailand Post Office. The PIN will allow you to access visa information and to schedule nonimmigrant visa appointments for up to five family members with the same last name residing at the same address.

Visa Information and Appointment Website: http://thailand.us-visaservices.com

Visa Call Center: 001-800-13-202-2457

Visa Information: (+66) 0 2205 5003 (English) or 0 2205 5007 (Thai)

But do it as soon as you can as it takes up to 2 months sometimes and even longer.

[verybigf]

mikenz66: I saw someone recommend that book in another article... pretty tempted to buy it so I know what to expect- already some things I've read here have me thinking- nothing good or bad, just wondering what will happen next. I appreciate it though! Thanks much!

If you've met a lot of family, maybe you already know what to expect. It's just a book, after all. My copy is quite battered from me reading it at least three times, my friend reading it at least once. And one of her friends claims to have learned a lot from it too... Often when I've been puzzled or confused I've gone back and found something useful in it.

[NanoGordeno]

I saw this book many times and just ignored it. As others have said the cover is kinda off putting, and since the whole farang/thai relationship problems dont seem to be a problem for me ... but is the book worth reading? does it have some particular insight that other publications lack?

[verybigf]

Is the book worth reading? does it have some particular insight that other publications lack? Hmm, I don't know quite how to answer that. People with a lot of experience have said that there's nothing surprising in it, which I guess is a positive comment, really.

There is an extensive discussion about the difference between Thai and farang families and relationship expectations. I've never seen a detailed explanation of naam-jai, sam-nuk-bun-kun, and gat-dtan-yuu anywhere else (but of course I haven't looked very hard). My feeling is that if you know about those concepts you don't need the book, but if you were saying "sam-who?" you really do need help

Even if you do know the concepts, it may be helpful. It is written in both English and Thai so you can tell your friend to "read this section, that's what I'm worried about!"

[verybigf]

What VisionChaser says it true up to a point. It's a good idea to look at the official documents. However, I think that it is also worthwhile trying to learn some things from others who have gone through similar processes. I've dealt with US immigration as an Alien and it's not always easy. This is not a uniquely US problem, I've sometimes heard bad things about the New Zealand embassy in Bangkok.

The key thing to watch with any such agency anywhere in the world is accidentally starting off badly, for example by giving them inconsistent information, making it look like you are trying to do something wrong. So be very careful and honest.

You can, of course, google for other discussions about these issues on the web. Another way of getting some useful information about this (and many other issues) is to find some local Thai people to talk to. If you are still at University there may be Thai students. Maybe there is a Temple in your area that you can visit. If you are considering a long-term relationship then I think it's really useful to have a few other Thai friends. It helps to get your "special" friend into perspective as an individual, not just a "Thai person".

[qilmuz6v]

This page link will give you all the info and answers you or her will need to obtain a visa for a pleasure tourist to come to the USA.
http://travel.state.gov/visa/temp/ty...es_1262.html#3

they sure got a lot of different visas and hard to figure out which one fits,

Filing fee of $100 non refundable with a fee on issue that will be about what an american pays for a Thai visa.

[Angeheade]

If you've met a lot of family, maybe you already know what to expect. It's just a book, after all. My copy is quite battered from me reading it at least three times, my friend reading it at least once. And one of her friends claims to have learned a lot from it too... Often when I've been puzzled or confused I've gone back and found something useful in it.

I have met her parents and maternal grandparents. They are all great and friendly- though I have been scolded by her mother for keeping her out too late one night (her father just smiled behind her and gave me a thumbs-up haha).

Its kind of tough because talking on the phone is so difficult- the calls between Alaska and Thailand are terrible to begin with, plus we've lost the ability for body language and pantomiming. Last night was really rough; I was frustrated to no end with the connection quality.

What I hate is I keep getting little bits of doubt on the edge of my thoughts- I keep reading about stories and bad things that happen to the farang boyfriends/husbands. I do know that most good news is never reported and bad news is, yet still... doubt gnaws at me every so often.

I mean, the way I view it is as this:
- I met her while hanging around a little festival thing we had going on in Korat, not at a bar or anything like that- I had/have no interest in sex or prostitutes.
- I met her mother within an hour of striking up conversation with her. I met her father a week later when he came back from a job in Bankok.
- I do know for a fact she is a student at a university. I've seen her books and class homework, as well as spoken with one of her teachers on the phone (slightly better english).
- She's never asked me for money- I generally did pay for things while we went out, but she'd go get me a water bottle or a snack without being asked (I didn't expect even that, since she's a student).
- Her mother and mother's best friend drove my friends and I around for about 6 hours to see Pei-Mai (sp?), a national park, and some other areas around Korat.
- She cried like crazy when I left, and even still on the phone from time to time
- And she has made a lot of effort to call me, using up all her minutes in the process.

I'm not trying to make our relationship public or anything, but I feel like those are good signs. She's always seemed sincere with me.

Her family too; they made us a big dinner but her mom asked that I pay for the drinks. Not a problem- we had quite a bit of beer, a large bottle of some sort of liquor, and several sodas for everyone (6 people). I gave 1,000 baht to her mother who was thankful (she seemed... displeased with 500 baht), but her father was concerned I was paying too much and didn't want me to think they were ripping me off. I know it wasn't worth that much, really, but they did cook a lot of food...

So, I dunno, what are your thoughts? Am I being the fool and blind to love? I've tried to go in with eyes wide open and think that I've been cautious- but matters of the heart rarely are. It may seem silly but I would like some advice and/or words of wisdom from those of you who have been through this or seen this.

Thanks!

[qilmuz6v]

You should be OK, so don't worry so much.

Either she will be there on vacation, or if not possible, then you will be back next time, long distance romances are never easy but can be handled.
She hasn't asked for money up to the is point so I think she is for real, and you seem to think she is ok and thats what counts, there are real ladys here as well as the entertainment venue kind. I have one of the best in the world, but there should be more than one in a country this large.
There might come a time when she gets up against it and will need a little cash, but don't let it put you off, if you can afford it, send it if it sounds legit, if you have doubts or do not have it, then don't.
But others than just me have found good women here so why not you too.
There is going to be naysayers but just take it with a grain of salt until such time as she makes it clear that she is not what you think she is, then will be the time to make different arrangements and cast her off.
I do not think you were hurt a bit in the money for the dinner and drinks, didn't hurt you one bit to pay for the party and dinner for your future inlaws. In fact I think that was very nice of you and they do too.

[Angeheade]

Thank you... it is reassuring that someone who's seen this thinks things are okay!

Yeah, I wasn't worried about the dinner- I was somewhat low on cash on-hand, but really the way I viewed it was that they'd done a lot for me in kindness and I could do the same for them in a small way, and $25 in the USA would *not* get you what we had that night for food and beverage!!!

I'm already trying to plan things by budget, a trip for her here, or vice-versa. The biggest obsticle right now for me is this dang language barrier. In person we were great, very few misunderstandings or problems. Phone-wise... ugh! I'm trying, but man... its crazy.

Right now I'm trying to get her to understand that she needs to apply for a visa soon if she wants to visit in April or May. I'm trying to figure out how to arrange things since I know its going to be about $120 (all fees total) and she won't have the money for it... I just wish I had another way to communicate, she's tried to send me e-mail but I'm not sure if she has had a chance to actually send one yet or if she got my address wrong!

I really hope this works because she's got my mind on her constantly...